Saturday, December 12, 2015

Desi Magic

Our politicians have been telling us that we should not bow down and let the Desis walk all over us. They tell us to be patriotic and stand tall in spite of shortages of everything due to the blockade. 

Yes, we the common folks should stay in line for the whole day and get a few liters of fuel while our politicians and civil servants get to fill up their tanks, get enough cooking gas to last them months and not worry about anything.

The Shree Tins left the building more than sixty years ago but our corrupt clowns and lazy civil servants seem to be inspired by them. Our netas continue to act like they own this country and they can do as they please. 

They are all above the law while common folks have to face laathis and boots from our security personnel if we dare to speak up and demand that law be equal to everyone.

When we look at our police wallahs, we see them as private security guards for 
our politicians and civil servants instead of serving and protecting the people. We see them as the ones who loot fuel and cooking gas cylinders meant for the people. 

When we look at our civil servants, we see them as inefficient lazy bums who have build mansions in the capital through bribes from the service seekers. When we look at our politicians, we see them as corrupt clowns who only know how to loot the state treasury to satisfy the needs of their cadres and cousins.

Now, everybody is optimistic that the blockade will end soon and we will get to celebrate Christmas and New Year in full swing. Yes, let us all thank the Desis for sponsoring a tour package for our Madhesi netas. I hope our great Madhesi superheroes enjoyed the dinner and hospitality showered upon them by the folks in Delhi. 

Our Madhesi netas tell us that they will be flexible and sit for talks to resolve the crisis. But of course nobody wants to bend backwards and lose face. Everybody wants to save face and tell their own cadres and con artists that they won. 

Our netas seem to forget that it is the government's responsibility to provide basic needs of the people. But here in this beautiful land of ours, the government is here not to help the people or develop this land. 

It is here to extort and exploit the people so that those in power can make millions while millions of our folks have no choice but to go overseas to make a few Dinars more. 

Our politicians can’t sort their problems at home and need to seek help from the Desis to resolve the current crisis. If we look back at history, we have to admit that it has always been the Desis who have played a role in bringing back Monarchy or Morons or Maoists to Kathmandu so that they can loot us all. 

Our Madhesi netas are the same. Most of them have been ministers in previous government and we all know that they made millions except the folks at the CIAA.

If it weren't for them, our late King Tribby would not be the father of Democracy then. If it weren't for them, our late Ganesh Man Bajey would not have been the father of Democracy forty years later. And don't be surprised if we get a new person to be our father again in 2030. 

I think we need a mother to lead us to prosperity and that could happen only if our Madame President tells Oli that he and his lawmakers should make sure that our CIAA is under the President instead of being under our government. If the CIAA is only answerable to the President then our politicians would not be able to pull strings to stop investigations of themselves.

Ganesh Thapa is a crook. Even FIFA thinks so and has banned him for life and fine 20 lakhs. But he has made billions of Rupees and he is safe in this land because the CIAA or other government agencies will not go after him. He is a lawmaker. He must have voluntary donated millions of Rupees to every major political party while he was the King at ANFA. No wonder, the CIAA wallahs can't find any evidence of wrongdoing. 

And now our CIAA wallahs have made us all proud by starting investigations against 40 thulo mancheys. The CIAA invites them to give their statement and after a month or two, they will tell us that they could not find any evidence of corruption and abuse of power. Why only Krishna Bahadur Mahara and not our Emperor who seem to own dozen of industries and commercial complexes in the country?

We all know that Gopal Bahadur Khadka, the guy at No Oil Corporation (NOC) is a crook but I guess he will be left alone after all this is over. You can't be heading a public corporation until you have paid someone else to get the job. And you have to find ways to recover your money as soon as you begin your tenure. 

That has been the story for all our civil servants and directors at public enterprises. Even our politicians do the same. You borrow, extort and some even sell their land to stand up for elections. 

If you become a mantri then you got to make ten times more than what you spent in the span of six months because you never know when the coalition government will collapse and you will have no access to state treasury after that.

So let us all take to the streets and demand that our incompetent lawmakers get together and allow the CIAA to be under the President's authority. Maybe then, we will be able to finally get the big sharks instead of minnows. 

And if we really need some Desi help then we can ask their Income Tax wallahs to visit Nepal and train our civil servants on how to send chills down the spine of corrupt clowns when they carry out raids.

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

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