Saturday, October 3, 2015

Bumbling Clowns

We know that our incompetent government and our lazy civil servants really don't know how to run this country. So let us not be surprised that our government has no clue how to resolve the crisis in Terai and work with India to let the goods stranded in the border to enter our land. 

Our government doesn't even know how to fix the plumbing inside Singha Durbar and we expect our buffoons to fix the problems in this land of ours. 

It seems that this country is being run on an auto-pilot since the Shree Tins left the building and we have to thank someone up there for still holding up this country despite it being run by wolves. But it seems the way things are going, we will pretty soon crash and burn. 

The system has never changed while we have had new players in the scene every decade or two.  And they too have turned out to be as worse as the previous clowns.

It seems that our politicians have not learned a single lesson from the past twenty five years. Well, our Kangaroos and United Mundrey Leaders did support the Indian blockade then. I guess they say Karma is a you know what. I guess this time, it’s our netas turn to get bitten in their arse. 

But it's us, the common folks who suffer from all this mess. We are the ones without cooking gas to cook our food. We are the ones without fuel and have to wait for hours for public transport or walk to work in the sun. 

Yes, walking is healthy and we should all use public vehicles but so should our netas, civil servants and other chors as well, who seem to never run out of fuel. 

Our civil servants never do their homework and have no contingency plan at all. We have seen how well our government handled the crisis after the earthquake. Except for our security personnel and the common citizens, nearly every other government agencies and even our political parties failed miserably. 

We have seen how our government handled the Tikapur incident. Our Home Ministry failed miserably to plan and prepare for such violence and have failed since then to contain the violence and open up the shutdown in Terai.

India tells us that they are worried about the violence in our border region. We have hundreds of thousands of security personnel in this land of ours but our government can't deploy them to secure our highways. Our security personnel, it seems have been deployed to protect our politicians and foreign embassies and INGOs. 

Our Thulo Mancheys don't think about the common citizens. They only think about their cousins, cadres and contractors. Our country is run by con artists masquerading as leaders. So far, they have only led themselves to prosperity while the common folks are suffering from shortages of everything. 

Our politicians only know how to give speeches while civil servants only know how to please their political masters for lucrative transfers and promotions. Our clowns never do their homework and don't plan ahead either. They only think about short-term gain for themselves while inflicting as much pain as possible to the common folks.

It’s been more than fifty days since the Terai shutdown began and our government still can't bring the Madhesi-Tharu leaders on board and resolve the crisis. As usual, they tell us that they are engaged in talks with each other but the talks seem to go nowhere. 

Our Doctor Saheb goes to Terai, is forced to give his speech in Hindi and then they burn down the stage because our protesters are not happy that he did not burn the new constitution.  If our protesters are so much pumped up to burn anything in sight then it is better to organize a grand BBQ festival in Terai and invite everyone for a nice party. 

Our protesters are even getting creative. Let us congratulate them for what they claim is the longest human chain in history of mankind. Next time, please plan ahead and invite the Guinness folks so that at least we all can be proud of the new record.

Our Home Ministry enforced the odd-even plate system, then banned private vehicles from getting fuel. We still don't know when we will get cooking gas. Maybe, one day after this shortage thing is over, our Home Ministry will enforce the odd-even plate system forever. Introduce carpooling in the capital. It’s about time we had motorcycle taxis too. 

Our Home Ministry should also designate every Sunday as walking day inside the valley. Yes,  public vehicles can ply along the ring road but let us walk inside. Then, let's have a 'Cycling' Day every Tuesday. Now, we need to think of what should we have on a Thursday?

Our cable operators have banned Indian channels. Our movie theaters now only show Nepali and English movies. I hope this will continue forever. Then, maybe our Nepali movies will be blockbuster hits and our actors and crew members will get paid more instead of peanuts. And if Amrikans or the British try to screw us then we can ban all Angrezi movies and then screen Chinese and French instead. 

It seems that everyone is at war with India except the common folks. Our media tells us about the Indian blockade. The Indians tell us that there is no blockade. 

Our byaparis now charge more for everything because of India. But instead of blaming India for everything, it’s about time our politicians took responsibility for their actions. 

We all very well know that our Madhesi leaders who are heading the shutdowns are good for nothing corrupt buffoons as well. Most of them have been ministers many times and they have done nothing better for Terai and our Madhesi brothers and sisters. 

Tomorrow, when we have a dozen provinces, it is the same netas who will do their best to loot the state funds while they keep on exploiting and extorting the common people.

Yes, India is not happy with our constitution and it may have found an excuse to tighten its borders. But it is our own Madhesi leaders and our politicians here in the capital who are making all of us our lives miserable. Dear, pickpockets, please stop holding the country hostage! 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

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