Saturday, October 31, 2015

Dashain Blues



We had a new Prime Monster a few weeks ago. KP Oli probably went to the tailor or asked the guy to come to his house to take his fitting for a new Daura-Suruwal. Most of us didn't get new clothes for Dashain because our byaparis could not get new stuff from Khasa. We didn't go to our relatives for Tika because we had no fuel or could not afford the taxi fare around town.

The only folks who really enjoyed Dashain were our new PM and his ministers. It's good to have free housing, vehicle and security and cooking gas as well, especially during such crisis. We see them driving around town in luxury vehicles with armed security personnel even when there is a massive shortage of fuel in the country. 

Why can't our politicians at least walk to work once a week just to show us that they feel our pain? Why can't they use a bicycle to move around town? If you don't have the stamina to pedal then get a rickshaw. Show us that you care and you are doing your best to not waste our taxpayers' money.

I guess the first priority for our government is to make sure that our freeloaders get enough fuel and cooking gas while the rest of the country gets nothing. Our civil servants as usual must have received Khasi and other gift hampers from our contractors and con artists who make loads of money from government contracts. Our liquor shops must have run out of Black Label.

It seems that KP Oli and his government is in no hurry to resolve the crisis in Tarai. The Oli government does not seem to be affected by the shortages of fuel, cooking gas and other essential items. After all, our politicians, civil servants and other thulo mancheys seem to get cooking gas and fuel without having to stay in line for days.  

Those who can afford it have no choice but to pay five times more for fuel and cooking gas in the black market. Those who can't afford it have no choice to but to buy wood to cook their food. 

I guess our government wants us to go back to the Stone Age. It's been 25 years since the end of the Panchayati system and we still seem to be going nowhere. Our politicians fattened their bellies and wallets while they forgot the poor and they will continue to do so until we are all broke and have nothing more for them to exploit and extort.

Our politicians should be thankful that we, the people have been patient so far. I guess we need someone to lead us and take to the streets to demand an end to all this natak.  Baidya Ba seems to be in hibernation. Whatever happened to his plans to invade India? 

Where is Comrade Biplab? Are they done digging tunnels or they have put their protest programs on hold because they don't have enough fuel to go around? Dr. Saheb must be busy still writing a manifesto for his new political party.

Our incompetent government is not ashamed of itself. Our students can't go to school. Hospitals do not have adequate supplies of medicine and other needed resources to run their operations smoothly. 

Our businesses do not have any resources to stay open. How will they pay their employees? Will our civil servants also take a pay cut? No,  our lazy bums want more allowances and increase in salary every year as they do less work than before.

Our Foreign Minister Kamal Dai visited Delhi and nothing came out of it. It seems that his 'Hindu' mojo has no effect on the Desis!  Kamal Dai should have organized a Rath Yatra in Delhi or just staged a sit-in in front of Modi's office until India lifted the blockade. 

Our media tells us that we will be getting fuel from China soon. Most of it will go to our government officials while some of us might get a few liters after waiting in line for a week. And for those who don't have the time or patience to stay in line, you can always buy it from our new 'fuel' byaparis who will charge you five times more. We hear that even some of our police personnel are involved in this new racket. 

Well, you have to find ways to make some Dashain Kharcha! I think our IGP  Saheb should order his men and women that fuel should also be included in the list of things they should say no to apart from Khasis and Whiskey this festive season.

We should all be proud that we have a first women speaker in the House and now we have a Madam President as well. Let us all hope that we will have a women PM before 2020. 

If our Kangaroos had not made a fool of themselves then our Sushil Da would be sunbathing in Sheetal Niwas. Our first President was a good man. I hope our new Madam President will think of herself as the guardian of the constitution and not just follow our Prime Monster's orders. After all, it would be pretty difficult to say No to the members of your own party. 

Madam President should visit our Tarai region and tell our Madeshi and Tharu leaders that they should stop acting like a five-year old kid who didn't get enough candy during Ramailo Mela. 

Our PM and his crew should be in Birgunj and hold talks there. If we can hold a cabinet meeting up in the mountains then why can't we do the same in the plains. What good is it if our government and security personnel can't even maintain law and order in this land and do whatever is needed to make sure that the common folks have enough of daily essentials? 

We are not asking for freebies like most of our netas. Just provide us the goods and we will pay for it. Let us all thank our protesters in Tarai for giving us a 'lean' Dashain. We are much healthier because we either had to walk around or eat less meat and fatty stuff as we did not get to visit our relatives. 

Maybe, Modi and his crew will lift the blockade after the elections in Bihar is over. Maybe, they won't. Maybe, we should just invite our Madeshi and Tharu brothers and sisters from the plains to gherao Baluwatar and Baneshwor. 

Maybe, our government will listen only when things get crazy in the valley. Until then, let us all congratulate ourselves for being patient and being able to adapt to any situation no matter how worse it gets. 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

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