Saturday, September 26, 2015

Bicycle Thieves

Prachanda tells us that he will ride a bicycle around town if things get worse. He should have done that when he was our Prime Monster. Yes, he can still buy a bicycle and ride around the valley if he is really serious about it. 

Cycling is better than playing table tennis with our security personnel every morning. Yes, our Emperor plays table tennis to stay fit. The only thing that will be fit will be his hands and those are only good enough to wave when he makes another rambling speech around town.  

Dear Emperor, tell the government to take back their vehicle, security and other state perks that you seem to enjoy as our former Prime Monster. Yes, start a cycling revolution in the country because all revolutions have failed.  

Maybe we can cut down our trade deficit with India if we can ban all vehicles inside the valley and make it a cycle zone. Our rickshaw drivers will also have enough clients to pay their bills and take care of their families.

Our Madhesi leaders tell us that they will block all borders and highways and make us all pay for not addressing their demands.  Why make the people suffer when it’s the politicians who are not willing to work together to find common ground to resolve their demands?

We can do a cycling tour from the capital to the Tarai. Let us all buy bicycles and ride all the way to the Indian border. Then, we can all stock up on daily essentials and then cycle back home to the valley. 

Well, that could take weeks but at least all of us will get to see other parts of the country instead of just being grumpy and blaming the folks in Madhes for the shortage of fuel, cooking gas and nearly everything else. 

But even if we all wanted to buy bicycles today, it would not be possible because we would need to ask both chimekis to open their borders. The earthquakes have shut down the border in the north and our border in the south seems to be closed because our Desi bhais think it is a security risk due to the crisis in Tarai.

Our incompetent government tells us that we have enough stock of fuel to last us a week or more. But our petrol pumps are shut down and the pump sahujis tell us that they have no fuel. We had a long weekend last week thanks to our government for giving us a new constitution.  

We have a long weekend this week as well. I think it would be better if our public enterprises stay open even during public holidays to ensure that the people get to buy essential goods. Why should NOC stop delivery of fuel and cooking gas just because we have a government holiday?

We all don’t need fuel to go to work. We can walk or cycle to work. The world will not end if you don’t get to ride your motorcycle or drive your car every day. But we can’t do without cooking gas. 

The people are suffering but our government doesn’t care. The government blames the gas bottlers. The bottlers blame the retailers. The retailers blame the Madhesi leaders. And, we the common folks have no one to blame but ourselves for electing such short-sighted selfish pickpockets who do not care about the people but only lust after power.

Sushil Da really wanted to visit New York and relax but he has no choice but to stay home and do nothing. Our incompetent government plans to send a special envoy to India to calm down the Desis.Yes, Modi bhai and his crew are not happy that we have a constitution. 

Instead of sending one of our government ministers to Delhi, why not send Manoj Gajurel? Our comedian can then visit the Red Fort and do a comic show where he mimics Modi and other Desi celebrities. Modi won’t be home but at least, give the folks in Delhi a treat.

I think it’s time Sushil Da just stepped down and let KP Oli be our Prime Monster. Sushil Da has done his part. He promised us that he would be around till we get a new constitution. We have it now, and it’s your turn to keep your word. 

Let Oli handle the current crisis in Tarai. Oli can invite all our Madhesi-Tharu leaders and do a live show on TV where they discuss the demands put forth by our agitating parties. Let us hear what our politicians have to say instead of meeting behind closed doors or visiting foreign hands for their next movie.

We all know that India is the one who holds the key to the successful political careers of our politicians. Our netas have always run to Delhi to seek support for their own political interest. Our netas cannot think for themselves and need foreign advice to run the show. 

We cannot only blame our Madhesi leaders for seeking Desi support. Our major political parties have done the same over the years and it has always been Delhi that dictated the next move for our political parties. 

It’s been the same natak since 2007 BS and it will continue to be so until our netas grow up and learn to make their own decisions and live with them.

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

No comments:

Post a Comment