Saturday, February 28, 2015

Young Caring Laddies (YCL)

Our 30-party opposition alliance will be holding a mass rally today to show their strength so that the ruling clowns can back down and sit down for talks to resolve the disputed issues in the constitution writing process. 

Why do our clowns think that gathering thousands of their cadres in the middle of Kathmandu will make the other clowns change their mind and give them some freebies?

Our buffoons think that street protests will help to put pressure on the ruling clowns to forge consensus to bring the new constitution. Street protests in this land of ours are only good to declare mundrey gundas martyrs and pay millions of Rupees to their families. But the real martyrs are forgotten and their families get nothing.

Our comrades have warned us all that if the ruling clowns are not ready to settle the disputes through dialogue then we are in it for a serious confrontation. Instead of  carrying out phase-wise protest programs, why not go all out and confront the ruling clowns?  

All of our political parties have their so-called youth organization. Let them battle it out. Let the police and the public stay home. Our savages can then use their stone-hurling skills and flank kicks on each other.

Our comrades seem not to care about the common folks. Most of us get only one day off and instead of visiting friends and relatives, most of us will have to stay home and clean our water tanks today.  I guess the New Road area will be a no-go zone today unless you want bamboo sticks flying at you while you drive around. 

I guess our Emperor just want his cadres to get some exercise and participate in the walkathon today. But our so-called top leaders forget that our cadres do not enjoy such nataks. I think it would be better if our opposition wallahs outsourced the event to some event management company. Yes, make it more like one of those melas that Ncell organizes.

Let the cadres have some fun as well. Put some balloons. Momo and drink stalls would be great. Make sure you have enough drinking water and mobile restrooms so that our cadres won't have to get dehydrated or hold their pee because there is no place to relieve themselves. 

We all know that our netas have developed the capacity to hold their pee because they can talk gibberish for hours and don't even need to take a break but common folks are not that skilled yet. 

Why can’t our buffoons just go to Godavari Botanical Gardens, have a picnic, work out their differences and enjoy a good lunch and a dance program instead? Our 30-party alliance could save millions of Rupees if they just sent 30 leaders to sit down with our ruling clowns and find common ground. 

But no, they have to spend millions of Rupees to ferry hundreds of thousands of folks to the capital. And not to forget the cost of dal, bhaat and other chiya kharcha for the cadres who will be walking around the Khula Manch with bamboo sticks.

Our opposition wallahs have to bring certain number of cadres to the rally today. Our Maoists will have to gather at least 100,000 folks. Some of the opposition parties don't even have a thousand followers and they have to bring more. 

I guess, they will just have to offer folks a holiday package to make sure that they meet their quota. Yes, offer a villager a free bus ride, food and accommodation and after the rally ends, a visit to Pashupatinath and our National Zoo will be great. 

The Young Communist League (YCL) is back. The YCL did their practice run for the mass rally a few days ago. It's about time the youth organization of our dear Maoists stop acting like a bunch of juvenile delinquents. Our YCL cadres jeered at onlookers and tried to vandalize motorcycles.

Our Emperor had even instructed the YCL folks to retaliate if our police wallahs tried to intervene in their protest. But our Nepal Police respects the right to protest only if it is carried out by our political parties. Instead of intervention, our police wallahs will gladly escort them and even look the other way if our cadres are beating up ordinary folks or vandalizing public property. 

Our Emperor should make YCL a young caring organization of lads and ladies. Instead of arming themselves with bamboo sticks and kicking and slapping whoever comes in their way, why not hand out Badam and Suntala to passerby and encourage onlookers to join in the fun.

Deploy your young lads and ladies to carry out social works. Clean up our neighborhoods, rivers and even government offices.  Yes, we could all grow organic vegetables instead of letting rusty vehicles take up all the open space in government land. 

Help our traffic cops to maintain traffic and make sure that our Micro drivers stop their vehicles at designated stop zones instead of stopping in the middle of the street. Help the sick and the needy instead of only helping the con-artists and contractors.

If our comrades had any brains instead of only brawns, then they would be gathering their cadres to clean up the Bagmati River today.  The only guy with some brain is leaving for India to meet the Desi President and other political leaders. I hope Dr. Saheb will get some tips from the Desi over Chai and Samosa on how to forge consensus with the ruling donkeys.

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