Saturday, February 7, 2015

Oli for PM!

Khadga Prasad Sharma Oli (KPSO) aka KP Oli aka OBG (Oli's Boli is Goli) should host a comedy show on TV. 'Comedy Nights with KP' will probably knock off 'Tito Satya' off the charts which would really piss off our opposition wallahs who have demanded mental treatment for Oli.

Our 30-party alliance think Oli suffers from some mental disorder and want the government to spend some big bucks to treat the comedy king as soon as possible. 

I think we need to remind our clowns that Gai Jatra is still more than six months away. Valentine's Day is next week and maybe a dinner date with Oli could help instead of accusing him of being insane. 

We did not know that we had a bunch of psychiatrists running the country instead of politicians. It would be nice if our opposition wallahs also demanded free mental health assessment and treatment if needed for all citizens. After all, we all are going crazy trying to keep up with the circus acts.

If all of our Constipated Assembly (CA) members were to go for psychologist tests then they would all be diagnosed with Sadistic Personality Disorder (SPD). 

While we, the common citizens are suffering from cooking gas shortage, our clowns are busy making fun of each other instead of working together to come up with a solution to end the political deadlock.

I think we would not mind if our incompetent government spent a ton of money for mental health assessment of all of our clowns. A majority of them would be deemed unfit to drive a car and we have no one but ourselves to blame for giving these buffoons the responsibility of driving the country forward.

These good for nothing freeloaders seem to enjoy it most when common folks suffer. We have yet to find a political party that is demanding an end to this artificial shortage of cooking gas. 

Instead, we have our opposition wallahs hell bent on carrying out street protests that benefit no one while the ruling clowns are sticking to their guns of bulldozing through a voting process to give us a constitution that lacks consensus.

Oli must know something we don't. If he didn't then why in the world would he claim that the opposition wallahs would stop their protest nataks if the Maoists were paid off Rs 10 billion? We all know that our politicians are blood sucking parasites. They would rather sell our country to the highest bidder than come together to write a constitution. 

I think it's about time, we all joined hands and took to the streets demanding that our great comedy king be made our Prime Monster. I think we will probably get our constitution in a week if Oli gets to live in Baluwatar because he will provide billions of Rupees to our opposition wallahs to make up and give us a new constitution.

Yes, give Oli a chance. It would be fun to listen to his speeches on TV. Maybe, what we need at this hour is a jester instead of a leader. 

Oli also seem to have lots of mundreys under him. Our Industry Minister Mahesh Basnet is an inspiration to all mundreys in the country. In a few years, UML will be known as United Mundrey Leaders and maybe in a decade or two Basnet himself will be our Prime Monster. And then, we will all be free to run casinos in our homes.

SuKo seems like a nice old man but being nice does not lead to consensus. He could have at least apologized for not giving us a constitution by January 22nd. 

I think it's about time our dear SuKo left Baluwatar for Banaras. After all, he is at the stage in Hindu life where one wanders around as a Sannyasi.

Well, our experts tell us that there was no deadline but dozing off for a year while getting paid for it is something our clowns should be ashamed of. But of course, our freeloaders have no shame and they know very well, that they can get away with it because the common citizens only know how to complain rather than confront them. 

I think it's about time, we carried our own protest programs by confronting our freeloaders. Most of our so-called top leaders may not walk in the streets or visit our local chiya pasals but whenever they pass by our neighborhood with all their security and siren-blaring vehicles, the least we can do is show them a placard that reads 'Bhat Mara'.  

Well, the literal English translation would be 'rice killer'. After all, it seems that we might have to burn our own furniture to cook a pot of rice soon. 

But then, the anagram thing could make our Indian Embassy happy. After all, the road leads to Delhi. The Desis seem to be good at bringing everyone back. 

They brought Tribhuvan back. They brought our 'Democracy' wallahs back. They brought our 'Republic' wallahs back. Maybe, it's time to sign another god knows how many point agreement but this time please include the common citizens as well. All we want is water, gas and electricity. 

Maybe, the Desis would be kind enough to provide the basic utilities for all if they are so eager to always bring our freeloaders together to sign another pointless agreement.

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