Dead End

It seems that the only thing our incompetent clowns know is how to shut down the country and make our lives miserable. Our clowns need to learn how to drive the country forward instead of shutting down the country for no good reason. 

It's not our fault that these buffoons can't seem to agree on anything. The only time they agree is when they get to share the loot and keep the funds for development projects for themselves.

We placed our faith on these incompetent clowns even though we knew very well that they would keep on procrastinating and give us nothing. We are wasting billions of Rupees to feed these greedy lazy bums and yet they are not ashamed of not doing their job.

And here we are now, almost a year later since we gave our clowns a second chance, and they have nothing to show for it. Our ruling clowns want to settle the disputed issues through a vote in the CA, while our opposition wallahs want a constitution based on so-called consensus.

It seems that both sides do not know how to find common ground and bring an end to the political deadlock. Maybe, we need a mediator who can help our clowns to at least agree to come up with a first draft of the constitution by next week. 

It's a shame that our freeloaders need help from foreign handlers to write the constitution. Yes, our clowns do not trust each other and don't listen to our own Nepali experts. And they see no shame in kissing bideshi arses for their own self-interest.

Maybe, NaMo should visit Nepal again and spend a week promising freebies to our CA members. After all, our clowns beg the junior officers at the Indian Embassy for help in getting their kids to Indian universities, seeking medical treatment for their dear one and boras of cash to contest elections.

Our government is not worried about common folks going hungry due to shortage of cooking gas. Maybe, they just want us to eat instant noodles and help Binod Dai top the Forbes Billionaire List this year. Our clowns think we are better off  if we have shutdowns in the country.  

They do not have to worry about paying their bills because they get free lunch from the state treasury.  They all claim to fight for the people but the common folks are the ones who suffer the most from the bandas.

Our Emperor and his friends should shut down Singha Durbar and promise to give us all a re-filled cylinder of cooking gas within a week.  Do mobilize your cadres to deliver the cooking gas cylinders to each household. 

At least that will help to win the hearts and minds of the Nepali people instead of asking us to stay home and go hungry. Yes, we do need the constitution but for now, all we want is some cooking gas.

A news portal has declared 10 best Constipated Assembly (CA) members of 2014. Maybe, we should assign the task of writing our constitution to these ten amigos. Ronado recently won the FIFA Ballon d'Or because he was voted the best football player in the world. 

I don't know what these top 10 CA members have done in the past year to be called the 'best'. Maybe, they dress better than the rest or have less body odor. We don't know but let us congratulate them and hope they will continue to be in the top 10 because this CA thing will probably go on for another decade before we get a constitution.

Dr. Saheb seems to be the only person from the UCPN-Maoist to be in the top 10. If he was still in Baluwatar then maybe, our incompetent government agencies would have wrapped up the road widening projects in the valley by now. And we also have our Kamal Dai, who wants to be the 'Holy King' by 2020, on the list as well.

We all know that most of our so-called leaders are only in it to make some moolah. Most of them have never worked for more than a few years and do not how hard it is for all of us to provide for our families. We do not get free rides, security and chiya kharcha from the state and nor do we get any free medical treatment overseas. 

Our transportation wallahs only want to fleece us and make more money. Our police wallahs are busy providing security to our clowns and do not have time to protect the public. Well, they do have time to bust college kids from movie theaters but can't go after the black marketers and folks who are engaging in criminal activities.

Our clowns get to fly in air ambulances and visit top doctors in foreign lands for minor illnesses while most of us can't even afford to seek medical treatment at our hospitals. 

At the end of the day, we just want an end to the shortages of food, fuel and other essential items. If our clowns can't work together to even provide the basic services to the common citizens then they have no right to lead us.

Our Emperor and his friends plan to show their strength this Tuesday. If you really want to scare the ruling clowns then don't shut down the country. Go gherao all the residences of our ruling clowns. Shut down Baluwatar. If you cadres are itching to hurl stones then do so but  do not burn down public vehicles and make common citizens suffer. 

You can practice your stone-throwing skills on each other instead. It would be better if our politicians slapped, punched and bit each other instead of mobilizing their cadres to harass common citizens and bring the country to a halt.