Saturday, October 19, 2013

Incompetent Idiots

The common citizens are broke because they spent most of their savings during Dashain.  Half of us had to take out loans so that we could buy a khasi and gifts for our loved ones. 

But the corrupt clowns are flushed with cash and ready to dole out the dough to their cadres and mundrey gundas so that they can either capture the booths or get as many votes as they can through distribution of notes. 

Now you know why you couldn't find new bank notes this Dashain.

The only folks who made a killing during Dashain were our taxi wallahs. It would have been nice if the government had offered free bus services in the valley for Tika. But as usual, the common folks ended up paying four or five times more the usual taxi fare to receive tika from their loved ones. 

Yes, even the cabbies have to make some money but charging a thousand Rupees for a trip that cost less than two hundred is pure day-light robbery.  

Maybe we should make it mandatory for all our hakim sahebs and politicians to at least use public transportation once a week. Maybe then they will feel our pain and come up with new laws to help us from getting ripped off.

When was the last time our Emperor used public transport to visit Chitwan? He will probably never use public transport again in his life because he gets a SUV and free fuel from the government. It's nice to get all them benefits for spending only 9 months in Baluwatar. 

We should move the capital to Rolpa and then our clowns can walk up and down the hill to attend all them meetings. 

Dr. Saheb decided to show us all that he didn't care much for a Japanese vehicle and decided to use a 'Mustang'. But the rest of his cabinet weren't impressed with Ali Baba and decided to use the gas-guzzling SUVs instead. If they had an ounce of shame then they would have downgraded to small compact cars. 

Let's hope that  Dr. Saheb will only use public transport if he gets to become our Prime Monster again.  
Kantipur TV should come up with a show where our politicians take up a job of a citizen for a day.  Our Emperor can work in a hospital as an orderly. 

And when angry relatives storm the hospital and go on a rampage, blaming the doctors for negligence, maybe then he will see the light and carry out much-needed  reforms in our hospitals. Instead of vandalism, there should be an independent commission to investigate medical malpractice cases and those burning things up should face heavy fines and lengthy jail term as well. 

But of course, our political parties will not support such laws because if they did then nearly all of their cadres would be in jail because they are only good at demolition.  

All those affected by the road widening project who still have to demolish their homes should hire them cadres. Maybe at least once in their life, they will understand what work is.

Dr. Saheb  could take up a job as a jeep driver to Mustang, driving a 'Mustang' and when he is surrounded by villagers threatening to burn his jeep for trying to pick up passengers in their area then he will at least find out how our transport syndicates now own our roads. 

6,139 folks are contesting in the upcoming Constituent Assembly (CA) election under the first-past-the-post system for 240 seats.  It looks like majority of the buffoons who are standing up for the CA election don't care if they lose their deposits. Maybe they just want to tell their grandchildren someday that they too stood up for election a long time ago. 

We have only 630 women candidates under the direct election system.  It's about time our mothers, sisters, wives and girlfriends got together and opened an only-women political party.  If every other lazy and crazy bums have their own political party then why aren't our hardworking  women thinking about starting a political party of their own?

We have more than 1,000 independent candidates who would be happy to get a handful of votes.  Some of them might receive a bora full of cash to drop out but most of them are in it just because they really don't have anything else to do. So why not be a candidate and have your 15 minutes of fame or shame or enjoy the game while it lasts? 

It would also be a good time to know your chimekis. Visit their homes and enjoy a cup of chiya and use it as some kind of a networking time. By the time you are done with visiting every homes in your constituency, you will know whom to call when you need to fix your sink, or which dentist to visit to take out your wisdom tooth. 

If you live in rural areas then you will probably get a bunch of witch doctors who would rather ask you for chickens whereas in the cities, you could make friends with rich doctors who could contribute some cash for your election campaign.

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