Saturday, September 14, 2013

Baidya Ba's Banda Bakwas

Baidya Ba and his angry birds have reminded us that bandas are not going away anytime soon.  Maybe they are just getting ready for November. After all, our comrades need to do some stretching and warm-up exercises before they carry out indefinite strikes in the coming days. 

The angry birds and the other weaklings neither have the money nor the muscles to carry out a full-fledged banda but like everyone else, they have their share of hooligans who are good at thrashing common citizens and vandalizing vehicles and public property.

We really need to find the guy who first inspired our clowns to shut down the country for no good reason. And then ask him to pay for all the damages so far.  At least in South Korea, the family of a former President has promised to pay more than US$ 150 million in fines. 

Let’s hope that one day our country will witness such acts from families of former Prime Monsters and other corrupt buffoons.  But our corrupt ones are more than willing to get hit by an asteroid rather than apologize for their sins. They seem to be proud to have looted the state treasury instead.  

We have to give credit to the Unidentified Moronic Losers (UML) for starting the trend of bandas when our Kangaroos were in power more than two decades ago. Now, everybody is into bandas and chakka jams. 

If somebody runs over your chicken, then you shut down the highway. If your husband gets drunk and comes home late, then you ask your local Ama samuha to shut down the district. If one of your cadres is arrested for murder then you shut down the country demanding his release. 

If one of your mudrey gundas gets killed by another gunda from another political party, then demand compensation from the state and then declare him a martyr as well.

If our angry birds and other fringe parties are not happy with the Khilly government then they should have bought tickets to the final of the SAFF Championship. Well, our national team wasn't playing but our angry birds would have saved our honor by filling up the stadium. 

And when Khil dai was in the field to shake hands with the players, our comrades should have unfurled a big banner saying 'Khil has to go because we said so!'.

Nepal Oil Corporation has hiked the fuel prices again.  And our student unions are not happy. They should gherao NOC instead of halting traffic in the morning. Most of our union wallahs don't even attend colleges. 

They are just in to make some noise with high hopes of getting a ticket to stand up for election from their district in the future. But of course, our student unions hire mundrey gundas for their nataks. And most of them hooligans do have bikes and it's always good to save a few Rupees on petrol whether you are a criminal or a common citizen. 

Our government should provide heavy discounts on bicycles for college students. Maybe then our union wallahs will stop creating chakka jams whenever there is a fuel price hike. The government can provide free bicycle repair vouchers to the students as well.

It's time our CIAA wallahs investigate the crooks at NOC and the petrol pump sahujis who make the moolah by selling us adulterated fuel products.  Maybe we will save some fuel if we get fuel efficient vehicles for our hakim sahebs, ministers and nautanki netas. 

Why should our clowns run around the city in gas guzzling SUVs? Get a Nano instead. And why do all of our ministers need a dozen armed guards who act like they are ready to go to war? Just get a small vehicle, and a personal security officer will do.  

And please stop all them siren nataks.  I think it would be better if our ministers and other high ranking officials attend meetings before sunrise or after sunset. Then our ambulances won't have to wait like the rest of us when our hardworking traffic personnel stop all vehicles so that our crooks can pass through in high speed.

Our stupid clowns claim to be doing all them nataks for us, the people. And what do the people want? We just want our clowns to get their act together and give us a chance to live our own lives. We don't want bandas. We want cheaper food prices so that we can afford to eat at least two meals a day. We want 

I think maybe we should all get together and carry out a banda to end all bandas. Let's have a final banda day where we celebrate all the past bandas by organizing tyre burning festivals, rock throwing competitions and the police can also show us their laathi-charging and kicking skills. And we can invite Baidya Ba to officially declare the end of the 'banda' era in the country. 

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