Saturday, August 10, 2013

The 3 Mistakes of My Life

Our Emperor should quit politics and become a writer. He could even write a novel  ‘The 3 Mistakes of My Life’ and it could probably be a bestseller. After all, the party can request all its cadres and sympathizers to voluntarily buy the book. 

And all byaparis in the country can buy a dozen each to give out to their customers.  The only guy who won’t be happy with all the natak would be the Indian writer Chetan Bhagat who came out with a novel with the same title back in 2008.

Our Emperor must be trying to win some sympathy votes by showing us all that he is after all only human and he also makes mistakes.   According to the great snake charmer, his first mistake was not letting Late Girija become the country’s first President.  

Our comrades got a little carried away with the results of the CA election then. But would things have turned out differently if Girija had been President?  Probably not but the Bangladeshi crown prince would have made billions more from other scams whereas mother-in-law Princess Sujata would have enjoyed a stint at Baluwatar.

When we think of Girija, we only remember the Nepal Airlines scandal and other nautanki nataks by Sujata auntie.  Yes, we should give some credit to the man for the 12-point agreement with our comrades and for bringing them out of the closet but letting your dear and near ones go on a looting spree tarnishes all his other achievements.

Our Emperor must remember that if he wants to leave a legacy of being more than just another neta then he must make sure that poor ones get the benefits instead of his near and dear ones.  

We now have a polygamist prince in the house.  Yes, every father wants his son to achieve great things in life but most of us want our kids to do it by being honest and working hard. 

Our netas are a different breed.  They will break all the rules to make sure that there kids get the government scholarships or contracts or even free plots of land somewhere in the country.

Our Emperor has also admitted that he should not have tried to sack the then Army Chief. While everyone knew that trying to fire a guy who had only three months left in his job was a stupid decision, our Emperor must have thought he was a Superman who could just bulldoze over Rukman. 

Hope someday, we will have a Wonderwoman instead of the usual  MCPs (Male Chauvinist Pigs or Mostly Corrupt Politicians) growing tomatoes in Baluwatar. We need someone like Golda Meir to lead this country.  But the current batch of women leaders do not give us any hope at all. 

Our Emperor tell us he screwed up because  it was his party’s first experience coming to the mainstream after spending a decade turning out underground rap albums.  

Maybe our comrades should have focused on writing the constitution instead of running the country down the drain. But they turned out to be as corrupt as the previous clowns and now we are left with choosing the least evil of them all in the upcoming CA polls. 

Last time, it was ‘give us a chance and we will make you dance’ and this time, their political slogan should be ‘Sorry, we screwed up but give us another chance to make it right’. It’s more or less sounds like a guy who is trying to win his girl after screwing up again and again.  And we, the citizens continue to be fooled by our netas’ false promises. 

Our Emperor says that his third mistake was not to take the issue of state restructuring for voting at the Constituent Assembly. We expected to have a new constitution at midnight that day but our stupid freeloaders decided to dissolve the CA and here we are again, back to square one.  

It really doesn’t matter if we have 7 states or 14.  All we want is a decent job that pays enough to take care of our families. We want the government to control food costs and jail byaparis who sell adulterated stuff. 

But it’s been just the opposite in the past five years.  Our byaparis threaten to shut down the country if they are not allowed to hike prices of their adulterated products.

Our Emperor could have been a Mandela. But he has failed miserably. Instead of bringing people together, he has managed to polarize them.  Some of us don’t want to face the truth but like it or not, our comrades are here to stay and it is up to them to lead this country to prosperity or let it lay in ruins. 

Let’s all hope that great Emperor will not make stupid mistakes again and will rise above the fray and when he is long gone, this country and its people will remember him as the one who finally made this country a heaven and not hell. 

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