Saturday, August 17, 2013

Clowns get ready for the circus act!

Baidya Ba threatened to deploy 10 of his angry birds at each polling station during the upcoming constituent assembly (CA) election. And now our Emperor wants to deploy  200 Young Crazy Lovers (YCL) at go wild at each polling station. It’s all about numbers.  

In this land of ours, the magic formula for political nataks is that the more cadres you can deploy, the merrier it gets. I hope our comrades will show us their song and dance routine instead of using sticks and bricks to bash each other up. 

Our Kangaroos and unidentified moronic losers don’t want to stay out of the ‘show of strength’ game. They also plan to deploy their juvenile delinquents to make sure they grab a few ballots when things go crazy. 

Tarun Dal and Youth Force wallahs should begin practicing their Kung Fu skills. These both parties seem to have the most mundrey gundas. I hope they will cut their hair and leave their earrings at home before entering the battle zone or else it will be easier for our comrades to pull their hair and ears during a brawl.

Talking about election, Ganesh Thapa is all set to be elected as All Nepal Football Association (ANFA) President again. Thapa has been running the show at ANFA since 1994. A lot of things have changed since then but it seems to make no difference to Thapa. 

We had a constitutional monarchy then.  Late King Birendra used to walk from his palace to visit his daughter in Thamel while Girija Babu was having fun doling out jobs and state funds to his cadres. 

Then, a decade later, we had Gyanu Uncle running the show while Sheroo from Dadeldhura was busy playing his didgeridoo. His near and dear ones had some piece of the fun while most of us were praying for peace.

And now,  instead of a King we have a Khil but Ganesh Thapa is still the ‘man’ who controls the ball and all the funds.  Here in this land of ours, the slimy ones who have the money and the muscles will get to run the show whereas the good folks can do nothing but cry out load until their throat get hoarse.  

The only two folks who control the money and muscles at their respective organizations are our Thapa Kaji and the great Emperor. The only difference is that Thapa is minting money in the name of football whereas our Emperor is turning this country into a football.

It’s about time we had a term limit at ANFA. A two-term limit should be enough for anyone who wants to accomplish something in football.  Thapa has been having fun with funds from FIFA for nearly two decades. We should have churned out a couple of Messis and Ronaldos by now. 

It might be much easier to send a Nepali to Moon than qualify for the football World Cup but we should at least beat our SAARC chimekis and win the regional tournament now and then.  

The CIAA is busy investigating financial irregularities in government agencies. They went after senior officials at Nepal Electricity Authority for buying substandard stuff and embezzling millions of Rupees. They are now after folks at Nepal Telecom.  Nepal Oil Corporation must be on the list for next week.

Last year, Thapa’s son was in the news for receiving US$ 100,000 from the then President of Asian Football Confederation.  Our CIAA wallahs had started a probe but like every other investigation, it must have disappeared into thin air.  Thapa is not going away anytime soon. 

We should give the man some credit because he was a prolific goal scorer for the national football team during his time but it’s time for Thapa to step aside and let others run ANFA.  But like our Emperor, Thapa too doesn’t want to leave the building.

Lokman, the man unfit to hold any public jobs now heads the CIAA and he’s busy running after everybody except our politicians. After all, he is not going to rock the boat by going after the ones who put him there.  

And now,  if you are driving around Kathmandu in a Range Rover then you better start hiding your gold in your backyard and don’t forget to withdraw all your funds and store it in a bora and put it inside your water tankie. 

If our CIAA wallahs really want to do their job then they should haul in all our clowns from major political parties and investigate their accounts. After all, our political parties get a share of all the funds embezzled by civil servants, contractors and our hardworking cops.  

So instead of going after little ones, why not hunt down the mighty monsters and give us all a chance to stand on our rooftops and applaud.  Somebody should take the lead and organize the ‘applause’ program. We can do it early in the morning or midnight. But make sure, we get the Guinness World Records folks in town as well.

Rest in Peace Marchiman! At least you tried to help us by airlifting food products from abroad when our dear chimeki India blocked their borders then. Our Prime Monsters today neither care for the people nor have any courage to face the music when the going gets tough.

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