Code of Conduct

The Election Commission wallahs came out with the code of conduct for our clowns  a month ago but it is very unlikely that our freeloaders will abide by it.  If our political parties followed the election code of conduct religiously then our land would be heaven on Earth. Our clowns would no longer blame each other for the mess we are in. 

They would not be flying to chimeki lands to kiss foreign asses and receive blessings from the dosa and dumpling gangs.Instead of threatening to unleash their rapid cadres against each other, they would be talking about finding common ground to resolve the political crisis.

Now, our Emperor is back to the same old nautanki natak of threatening everyone that he and his courtiers would revolt if them war-era cases are revived.  Does that mean our comrades will be going back to the Jungle whereas the top leaders will be flying back to Delhi? 

If that’s the case then we will have the Baidya ba’s angry birds and our Emperor’s crew fighting for the jungle trail and highways. And all our truck wallahs will have to pay the government tax, the angry bird tax and the Emperor’s tax to supply the goods to Kathmandu.  

The byaparis will just jack up the price and it’s always the common citizens who will have to suffer.

But of course, no one’s going back to the jungle any time soon.  Our Emperor and Dr. Saheb aren’t going back to some apartment in Gurgaon and  Noida and wait for the Desi wallahs to come up with another peace agreement when they are already having fun enjoying the piece of the loot.  

They started off with looting banks and then it was the state treasury and what’s next? If our comrades had an ounce of creativity then they could have made Rolpa and Rukum, a tourism destination for all commies.  

Whatever happened to the ‘Guerilla Trek’ launched by our Nepal Tourism Board wallahs last year?  Our comrades could have attracted a million left-wing, wannabe revolutionaries from the West for a month-long trek to Rolpa and Rukum. 

And instead of extortion and other shady business deals, the party could make millions of dollars by employing their own cadres along the trekking routes. Our Emperor should have been made the chief host as he waits by some martyrs gate to offer a 100-kg garland to each foreign tourist visiting the region. 

But of course, nobody is interested to make money the hard way when all you need to do is send your cadres to the contractors’ office and get a commission from the government contracts. And our byaparis evade taxes so that they can voluntary donate millions to our political parties.

Our great IGP at Nepal Police had recently rolled out some kind of a code of conduct for the men and women in blue but nobody seems to be in a hurry to follow it. We still see our police officers using their mobile phones while on duty. 

We still have the usual beer-belly hawaldars who last passed a fitness test when he joined the force and common citizens have to deal with foul-mouthed and unprofessional constables every day. 

It’s about time somebody remind our cops and government officials that it is our taxpayers’ money that funds their salaries and it would be nice if bidhesis send a team of consultants to teach our savages a thing or two about professionalism and common courtesy.

And now the Higher Secondary Education Board (HSEB) wallahs want to enforce their own code of conduct for our 10+2 schools. HSEB came out with the rules a year ago but I guess they just woke up from a deep slumber. No mobiles, bikes or miniskirts for our young 10+2 students.   

Maybe HSEB should provide each student a GPS watch and their parents can monitor their whereabouts.  How about free public transportation for our 10+2 wallah?. And yes, miniskirts should be banned because it has been found to have created  a lot of traffic accidents in the past.

All 10+2 schools must have them dress code.  Maybe HSEB should look into schools that are doing just fine without the dress code. I think HSEB should fine the schools instead of the kids if everyone is bunking and bouncing around town instead of attending classes.

And who will make sure our young ones abide by the code of conduct?  It’s our very own Nepal Police.  It’s about time we have a separate police department to make sure that our police wallahs abide by their own code of conduct. Until then, please keep Nepal Police away from our schools. 

Most of the adults are already scared of those who have to sworn to protect us. Let us not traumatize our young ones by allowing them to experience the ‘verbal and physical’ abuse from the great men and women in blue.  Our kids don’t need a code of conduct. It’s the civil servants and our clowns who need it the most.  First, let them follow theirs and then our kids can follow suit.