Saturday, July 27, 2013

God Save the Country

Our Emperor and his courtiers have decided to launch a month-long election campaign to touch base with the people.  Yes, it's about time the great revolutionaries headed back to the villages instead of driving around town in luxury vehicles.
Let's hope the party will provide walking sticks to our comrades as they reach the far corners of the country. But of course, our revolutionaries have now expanded their waistlines and might find it difficult to go on a trek like in the old days. And it's much easier to use a chopper. You can be in Rolpa for lunch and be back in the capital for an early evening drink. 

In the previous CA election, our comrades had asked us to give them a chance. We did and they turned out to be no different than the previous clowns.  

Our comrades should have captured Tundhikhel and pitched tents. All the big fishes could have stayed in the new commune and used the Tyampoos to get to the CA hall but instead they wanted to enjoy the state perks.  And at the end, we wasted billions and got nothing.  

Let's hope our comrades will come up with a better slogan this time around. Asking for one more chance will not work for us now. Maybe they should promise us a monthly gift hamper of one cooking gas cylinder, a jerrycan (in Nepal we call it 'jerkin') full of petrol for our bikes and one bora of basmati rice.  

Then, we could change our mind and maybe give them one more chance to make it right. But we should make sure we get the official gift voucher from Peris Danda. But of course, our clowns are good at making lofty promises and not keeping any of it. 

We are still waiting for 10,000 MW of electricity while we suffer from massive load shedding during winter. We are still waiting for capitalist pigs to be sent to gulags while we continue to eat and drink adulterated food products. We are still waiting for our clowns to get their acts together and give us a constitution while they are busy kissing arses of foreign handlers.  

Instead of bringing other clowns together and writing the constitution, our comrades were busy raking in the moolah.  And now, we will be spending billions to hold the CA election again. And billions more will be spent providing free lunch to our new CA members. 

If our comrades really want to win the majority in the upcoming CA election, then they should announce that they will forgo their CA salaries and perks this time . And also please put that in writing and ask our crown prince aka computer operator to post it on his Facebook Wall.

Talking about princes, Great Britain has a new prince.  Lizzie darlng is still rocking on her throne and we still have 'Long Ears Charlie' , 'Balding William' and now Baby George.  The birth of the Prince of Cambridge is expected to contribute billions of pounds to the British economy.  Where did our Royals go wrong?

It's probably a waste of time to go back in time and evaluate what went wrong. But our former Royals are now distributing relief aid to flood victims across the country. It's a nice gesture and Gyanu uncle can top it off if he promises to build Darchula with his own dough. Now that would be a perfect bitch-slap to our clowns and the incompetent government. 

But of course, our government wallahs are not happy. They want Himani Trust to go through the government mechanism to distribute the relief package. Why? So that our sarkari chors can keep the stuff for themselves or sell it to byaparis in the local market for a few extra Rupees.  

Dr. Saheb is mighty pissed and has stated that he would have put Gyanu uncle in jail if he was still the Prime Monster. Well, why didn't he do that when he was growing organic tomatoes in Baluwatar? Maybe he should just head back to Gorkha and live in the Durbar and proclaim himself the King of Gorkha. 

Apart from that, there isn't much Babu dai can do except talk  about launching trench warfare again. How about digging a trench and living in it until November 19 to show us that you still feel the pain of the people.

And Baidya uncle and his crew have decided to launch anti-poll drive by smashing mock ballot boxes.  The angry birds used hammers to smash them boxes. They should also have brought some sickles for the photo-op. And they are now going around town telling folks that they ready to join hands with the right-wingers to save this country.  

The country is fine. Maybe we should all join hands to save this land of ours from the evil doers masquerading as politicians and philanthropists.

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