Let us all be grateful that we are not having the nautanki CA election this June. That will save us from sun stroke and dust storm. And the young and old voters will not have to worry about being dehydrated, standing in line during the hot summer day.
We can then go to the polls after Tihar and vote for a clown who will be the least corrupt or spews less venom than the other snake charmer.
I think our Nepal Tourism Board should come up with a new campaign. They should get a dozen camels and charge tourists a few dollars to ride around the city. The dust storm will give them an experience of being in the middle of the Sahara desert or some place in the Middle East.
Maybe it’s time for our sarkari hakims to ride around town in an open carriage like in them ‘Shree Tin’ days. Then they will get to taste, breathe in and enjoy the dust storm like the rest of us.
Khil dai could do us all a favor by making sure that our slimy contractors finish the road widening project by next month. The dust storm is getting unbearable and by the time we go to the polls in November, most of the valley residents will have major respiratory illnesses.
Is the government then going to get air ambulances for all of us and send us to foreign lands for treatment? Or are we going to get subsidized mini oxygen tanks we can carry around as we go to work?
We all knew that our clowns were never eager to go to the polls this early. Our buffoons think that they have all the time in the world to resolve the so-called political crisis in the country. They can’t even come together to decide when they want to battle it out at the polls.
Maybe, Khil dai should just go ahead and ask our free-loading clowns to pull straws. And the one with the shortest straw can consult his astrologer and fix a day in November. Somebody needs to make sure that Baidya uncle doesn’t get any straw at all.
He is not interested in any elections because he is short on cash. Well, the Baidya wallahs are now into seizing land. But it will take some time to grow some crops and make some cash. But of course, our comrades are not entrepreneurs. They just want some land so that they can plant some party flags instead of crops.
Our clowns are not worried because they don’t have to go to work, pay bills and save a few Rupees at the local cooperative. Why are these stupid incompetent fools getting all freebies such as state security, vehicles, fuel and other chiya kharcha?
Maybe we should start afresh and only start handing out state perks after we get a real government. Let’s have a Constituent Assembly election again. Let’s make sure our fools get their act right and come up with a real constitution. Then we will have our parliamentary election and then the next one.
And then the former Prime Minister of the first elected republic government can get a free lunch or two. But why are we handing out freebies to every clowns since the 90s. Why not go back a century? Maybe Bhimsen Thapa’s family can get at least a free voucher for 50 liters of fuel.
Why are our former Home Ministers getting the royal treatment? The ‘Homies’ make more dough than the rest of the cabinet, playing with police promotions and recruitment. They should have amassed enough dough to hire their own private security personnel and they could even afford to ride around town in an armored personnel carrier at their own expense.
Our clowns should stop trying to figure out how many provinces we need or what we should name them. Just go ahead and fight the elections and then waste our taxpayers money for another four years and come up with zilch.
Maybe, we should just have our local elections so that our Mayors, Ward Chairperson and Ward members can use the funds for their communities instead of letting the all-party mechanism skim off all the funds. Aren’t we all tired of lazy government secretaries at our local ward office who are not even interested to wash their dirty towels on their chairs?
Well, it’s time to be merry as our Nepali New Year is here. We, Nepalis are good at partying like the world will end tomorrow.
Let’s hope that this new year, our cops will get new breathalyzers and they will at least have a limit on how much wine one can sip before being busted for MaPaSe.
Our folks at the Central Zoo need better tranquilizers so that our wild animals won’t have to be shot to death.
And of course, hope our clowns will have an ounce of common sense so that they will no longer keep talking nonsense.