Saturday, February 2, 2013

Forgotten Martyrs and Filthy Morons

The ‘old’ martyrs were shot to death or hanged.  They died for us so that we could have freedom.  Their families never got a dime and except for placing garlands on their statues once a year, we really don’t seem to have any respect for their sacrifices.

We have had so many andolans and martyrs. The dead have been forgotten. The players have changed but the game plan is still the same. It’s not about changing the system or helping the poor. It’s all about milking the system and enjoying the kurchi until someone else gets lucky. By then the ‘old’ player will have amassed enough to last seven generations.

The ‘new’ martyrs are mundrey gundas who are affiliated to political parties. They fight with the other goons and whoever is unlucky becomes a martyr and his family gets a million Rupees.  All mundrey gundas across the country should take out a rally and demand a public holiday for their brethren. And why not have a monument for them as well?
We have seen the Shree Tins, the Shree Paanchs, the Kangaroos, the Eh-Maaleys and now the Madhesi & Maoist (M&M) alliance also known as the ‘Shree Aaaths’.  

We got rid of the Nati Generals because they were busy partying and building palaces around town. We got rid of the Mandaleys because they were the only ones playing the madal while our so-called freedom lovers were dead broke and living on crumbs across the border.
The Kangaroos showed us that they were only after power and money. They could have governed us for another hundred years but they acted like unsupervised kids in a candy store.  

Maybe if they had just followed the Lee Kuan Yew formula then we would be like Singapore. The streets would be clean and you would get caned if you vandalized stuff.  Our streets now look like war zones and our political cadres only know how to vandalize public property.
The angry birds promised to change the country and the only stuff that have changed are their outfits, waistlines and modes of transportation. 

Our Emperor lived in Delhi while the young men and women fought against the security forces in the country.  Hope one day, the families of the dead comrades, security personnel and innocent citizens will receive sincere apologies from those responsible for their deaths.
Our comrades seem to have forgotten that they are the ones in power now.  They should stop acting like juvenile delinquents and maybe take a class or two at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government.  Even if nothing good comes out of it,  they can hang their Harvard certificates in their living rooms.
Our clowns still think that organizing mass rallies will help them to win brownie points from the people. But the people don’t want traffic jams due to their nautanaki rallies. They just want enough water to take a quick shower, batti to charge their mobiles and watch their favorite TV shows and cooking gas to eat a meal or two.
The opposition wallahs should stop wasting their time and energy on toppling the caretaker government. They should learn a thing or two from the Amriki political consultants. It’s all about negative ads and lies. So why not come up with some really outlandish allegations?
The opposition wallahs should accuse Dr. Saheb of plagiarizing his PhD Thesis.  He must have at least copied a line or two from somewhere without mentioning the source.  And if Dr. Saheb wants to defend the allegations then he should step down from his kurchi.
But of course, in this land of ours, cheating is the norm. Every year,  examination officials are attacked by families who are not happy about not letting their kids cheat in the SLC exams. 
And our netas have no moral conscience.  A German will resign if caught with plagiarism.  A Japanese will probably jump off a building if caught receiving bribes. An Indian will probably resign but our netas will just brush it off and act like the country owes him an apology instead.
Our geat comrades will get some time off from the usual nataks from the opposition. They will get to enjoy a week-long jamboree in Hetauda. It would have been better if our comrades had organized the convention in Rolpa. They could have even done a ‘long march’ stuff all the way from Kathmandu. The Emperor and his courtiers could take the choppers while the cadres could enjoy the great ‘Maoist’ trail.
Our comrades could have just asked the fake VAT bill wallahs to fund the convention. Instead of sending out love letters, just send the fake invoices instead. Our byaparis would have gotten the message.  Or the great businessman from Hetauda could have done us all a favor if he had sponsored the whole thing by himself.  And our comrades could have boasted that they didn’t ask a dime from anyone else for their Love Fest.

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