Saturday, February 16, 2013

Lead the way and we will follow….

Dr. Saheb seems to be tweeting a lot these days.  He must have gotten bored with his Facebook page.  After all, the smarty pant is running out of time.  He wants to cram in as many nataks as possible before he heads back to his apartment in Sanepa.

Instead of tweeting, he should just go to the rooftop of Singha Durbar and blow a trumpet whenever he comes up with a new natak. He should also start using Instagram so that we can view pictures of our netas drinking tea, picking up their noses and taking a nap during them hawa-tari ‘find the right clown’ meetings.  

And when Dr. Saheb leaves Baluwatar, he can move on to Pinterest and other social networking sites as well. If he really wants to show us that he is tech savvy then he should ask the folks at Nepal Telecom to provide us high-speed internet at an affordable price. 

We can live with 12-hour load shedding, once-every-three-days water supply and rising food prices but a day without internet access is more than likely to send us into deep depression. Watching funny videos on YouTube seems to be a better treatment than popping anti-depressants. 

Our PhD wallah has donated his half-a-month’s salary to ‘New Nepal Development Trust’.   Let us all stop what we are doing for a moment and give a big round of applause to our honorable Prime Monster who saves us a few pennies by riding a Mustang and then wastes millions of Rupees in taxpayer’s money in so-called visits to the districts by our cabinet members.

Why didn’t Dr. Saheb think of this new gimmick a year ago?  He could have taken only Re 1 as his salary and donated the rest to various charities.  He could have taken a tyampoo from Baluwatar to Singhadurbar instead.  

That would have helped to save Nepal Oil Corporation a few hundred liters of petrol every month and our security wallahs could also give their arms some rest.

After all, if you spend the whole day, frantically waving your arms to force the other vehicles to make way for the PM’s entourage then you are likely to suffer from involuntary arm movements in the future.

Dr. Saheb does not need to convince us that he is down to earth and feels the pain of our poor villagers by crashing and eating with them.  After all, he was not born with a silver spoon and he’s already seen the hard life.

Instead of going to a village and involuntarily creating pressure on  the ‘unlucky’ host to take out loans to host our smarty pant, the ‘lucky’ villager should have been invited to Baluwatar to crash in the PM’s residence for a night and maybe be a ‘Honorary PM’ for a day as well.  

The lucky winner should be driven around town in the Mustang and get to drink a doodh-chiya with the President.  After all, it’s only a natak and the lives of the poor will not improve by Dr. Saheb’s boy scouts antics.

If our smarty pant wants the kids in the villages to have a better future then he has to straighten out our public school teachers and make sure they do their job well. But most of our teachers in government schools seem to spend more time drinking local raksi and playing cards than teaching our kids in them rural areas.

Dr. Saheb now wants all of us to donate at least one day’s salary to the trust so that our youth can be involved in nation-building activities.  

Even our Army and Police wallahs have been asked to fork up a day’s pay to help fund the national volunteer campaign. The Education Ministry will ask the public school teachers to contribute as well. Well, it’s must be all voluntary like all the donations to our political parties.

Instead of asking for voluntary contributions, why not introduce a mandatory community service for us all? Every Saturday morning, everyone from common citizens to crooked contractors to corrupt civil servants and clowns must gather at their local tole and clean up the neighborhood.  

Those arrested on Friday Night ‘MaPaSe’ checking in the valley should show up at the banks of the Bagmati River and clean up the area for a few hours on Saturday.  It will also help to relieve their hangovers as well.

At the end of the day, political cadres will masquerade as volunteers and get the stipend while the really interested young folks will be lost trying to figure out the paperwork to be a volunteer. 

Aren’t we tired of all them ‘New Nepal’ nataks? Not much has changed between the old country and the new republic. The only folks who are better off are the cadres, contractors, civil servants and our beloved clowns. Maybe they should all pack their bags and volunteer in rural areas for a year.  Yes, please do lead the way and we will gladly follow right behind.

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