Saturday, January 19, 2013

Same Old Protest

Our opposition wallahs have announced another round of protest programs to topple the caretaker government.  The previous protest programs failed to make any impact and Dr. Saheb and his crew are still enjoying the free ride. 

It’s time for the organizing committee to buy black cloth at wholesale prices. But of course, our political parties are not capitalists. They have no idea how the market works. They only know how to grab and hold. So, they will probably pay half the price and make the local kapada pasaley depressed or they will just grab the bora of cloth and not even thank the voluntary donor.

They also need to start calling up all transport entrepreneurs across the country to book them buses to transport their cadres.  Our bus wallahs will have to voluntarily provide their buses. And a few lucky ones will get their fuel kharcha back. The rest of them will just have to grit their teeth and think of new ways to hike up the transport fares to make up for the losses.

The only folks who will have fun at these protest programs are our government employees at the district administration offices across the country. They will now have enough time to finish reading the daily newspapers without any disturbance from the service seekers.

While the clowns shout slogans and wave black flags outside, our sarkari hakims will be drinking tea and cracking jokes.  It’s fun to be a civil servant in this land of ours.  Even if you are caught taking bribes, you will be slapped with a suspension and then you go back to work as if nothing happened. 

The opposition clowns plan to do the usual natak for ten days.  And then it’s the same finale as usual… get  all your cadres to come to the capital, wave party flags, make hawa-tari speeches and go home. 
Instead of clogging up the streets with their cadres, why not book the national stadium?

We do have decent event managers in town. Get the right sound system and our buffoons can make their entry like the WWF wrestlers.  It’s just a matter of convincing our politicians to don tights and challenge their opponents in the ring.

The only politician who is into sports is Kamal Thapa but he watches too much religious Hindi TV serials. He wants to start a ‘Mahabharata’ war to and bring ‘Hindu’ back.  If he can recite the Bhagwad Gita and Mahabharata from memory then we can ask him to be the main priest at Pashupatinath.

Our ruling coalition parties have also announced that they will hold a mass assembly.  On January 29, our opposition wallahs will bang their drums and threaten to storm Baluwatar. The next day, our ruling Maharajas will get together and threaten to bulldoze the opposition. And valley residents will have to mark their calendars and make sure that they don’t have any bhoj on them days.

Waving black flags, gherao-ing the district administration offices across the country and holding mass assembly in the capital will not make Dr. Saheb leave Baulwatar.  Our political parties need to think out of the box. If they want the valley residents to wake up and take to the streets then organize a rally to demand  that the government complete its road widening projects by next month.

If the government still doesn’t given a damn then our opposition wallahs can gather their cadres and gather all the debris and dump it in front of the PM’s residence.  We can even ask our contemporary artists to build a monument from the debris and install it in front of Singha Durbar.

The same usual natak is a waste of time but of course, our clowns only know how to protest and shout stupid slogans. We are still waiting for a leader who will talk the talk and walk the walk. Most of us had high hopes on Dr. Saheb but he has proven to be just another slimy politician.

Maybe Ncell should hire him after he’s done with playing Prime Minister. He can come up with quirky campaigns every month. He can visit all the villages in the country as the brand ambassador for the company. At least, he won’t be wasting our taxpayers money then.

What would it take to get our clowns to come together and start over again? Our comrades now want to revive the dissolved Constituent Assembly.  Our opposition wallahs want a piece of the pie and are more than eager to sit on them kurchis.  Our buffoons really don’t care much about the constitution or rule of law. 

The country is going down the drain.  Maybe we should all get together and build a better drainage system so that our clowns will be swept away and we won’t have to deal with their stench.

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