Saturday, January 12, 2013

Donations for Coventions

Our byaparis are finally tired of our political parties asking for voluntary donations.  The fake VAT bill wallahs would rather like to add them donations to their expense accounts so that they can pay less taxes. The byaparis want the caretaker government to introduce some kind of an ordinance that will allow them to deduct such donations as expenses rey.

But most of our leading business houses cook their books anyway, so it should not really make any difference to them. Their auditors can always come up with creative accounting tricks. If that doesn’t work, they can always make the Finance Ministry wallahs happy with free gift hampers.

Maybe our business wallahs should take to the streets and demand that the political parties be registered as private companies as well.  Maybe it would be better if they registered themselves as commercial banks so that the folks from Nepal Rastra Bank can then check their accounts now and then.

And when they publish their financial reports in our major dailies, we will have a rough idea of where their voluntary cash is going. Instead of holding conventions and chiya-paan karyakarms, why not hold an Annual General Meeting instead?

We can all buy shares of Mao Corp. or Madhesi Inc. and then ask them management teams on when we will get dividends and bonus shares. Our Emperor can even bag the highest individual taxpayer award every year. And he would probably be the only chairman in the world who gets a percentage of the company’s revenue instead of the profits. 

Baidya Uncle’s crew have shown us all what can happen if one refuses to voluntary donate cash to our political parties.  It seems like you can’t be a political cadre unless you know how to go on a rampage and vandalize stuff. The angry birds had quite a successful fundraising drive and we hope their convention will help them prepare for the eventual invasion of India.

As usual, the Desis are the enemies for our Baidya wallahs. They did try to scare us by banning Hindi movies a while ago. I guess the hall-wallahs paid some dough to our comrades to lift the ban.

They also don’t like the Amrikans. Let us not expect McDonald's to come to Kathmandu anytime soon. We really don't need them fast food wallahs... our vyar vyar momos and aloo chops will do kya.

Well, our comrades don’t like all capitalist pigs. But they want all the cash from the byaparis... I guess Baidya uncle should read his old communist notebooks once again hola.

Instead of asking for voluntary donations, why not go for a barter system instead?  The angry birds can come clean our homes and wash our clothes and we can pay them ni. Ani hami sabai khoosi… ki kaso? But of course, our cadres are lazy bums. They do know how to shout slogans and can do it all day and night.

FIFA has them Ballon d’or  award for the best football player in the world. Messi has now won it four times in a row. Our Emperor  should get some kind of an award for his dribbling skills but after scoring a few goals early on, he seems to be on a goal drought lately.

Somebody needs to remind Dr. Saheb that he too has a daughter and he needs to do more than just worry about staying in Baluwatar. The Dekendra Thapa murder case has shown us that our comrades are scared that they too will one day have to go to prison if they allow the case to move forward.

I think all them Kuirey countries should threaten to arrest our netas… comrades and congressis and the Madhesi gangsters as well.  And when they have nowhere to go, they will finally have to stay back in the capital and work on resolving the political crisis. And no five star resorts or free lunch for our clowns.... but we are not selfish like them.. .so we will provide free suntalas and badam ni.

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