Friday, February 24, 2012

Another One Bites The Dust...

This year, the government forgot to celebrate Democracy Day. Dr. Saheb doesn’t think much about the Ranas. Our Comrades seem to have a beef with the Shahs, and all the Valley residents who got their ghar-naksa passed by corrupt Municipality wallahs.

We still have Jungay Dai and his horse staring at us in Tundikhel. Maybe it would be better if we had the new Emperor’s statue, hagi? Instead of a horse, we can have him on top of a SUV.

We have Juddha Dai’s bhauju welcoming us at our national zoo. Maybe we should replace it with a bust of our first lady, ki kaso? Instead of being decked in pearls and what not, we can have a bicycle by her side. She used to be one hell of a biker when she was teaching our engineering students back in the old days, kya!

We still have Bir Hospital. How about ‘Bir Sahid’ Hospital instead? And what about Tri-Chandra College? Yes, let’s get rid of the Shah-Rana combo platter.

How about Mohan Baidya College? Maybe that would at least pacify our radical Rambo for some time.

The folks who got hanged by the Ranas are the real martyrs. I don’t think their families received any financial compensation after the ruling Ranas decided to shift to India.

We celebrate Democracy Day because we got rid of the 100+ years of looting, booting and shooting by the Shree Tins. But then we let the Shree Paanchs have some fun for some time, didn’t we?

Now we have thousands of little princes, enjoying the ride. If you’re a political cadre, then you don’t have to buy a life insurance.

When your time’s up, you just have to be lucky enough to be in jail or in the middle of a highway. Then you’ll be declared a martyr and your loved ones will get a million Rupees from the state.

When it reaches your loved ones, it might be a paltry thousand because everybody from the central to the district to the local levels will try to get a cut of the dough.

Dr. Saheb believes that the real democracy came only after our CA wallahs decided to declare our country a republic. Well, so far, it’s been more of a ‘rip-off-the-public,’ hoina ra?

We got rid of the Shree Tins so our Shree Panchs would have some fun. We got rid of the Shree Panchs and now our politicians are having all the fun. Maybe, we should all get together and take to the streets again to get rid of our Shree Aaths.

We really need our Ama Samuhas to run our villages, cities and even the country. If we have grandmothers running the show, then they would probably tackle the cooking gas issue first rather than worry about the Valley’s roads.

They would probably send all the men to dig them tunnels and we can finally get some water from Melamchi. It’s about time our grandmothers, mothers, and sisters stood up and beat the ghoos-khoris with their gaagris, panyus, laptops and iPhones pani.

Our politicians are corrupt. We all know that and finally we have an incumbent minister guilty on corruption charges. Dillibazaar Prison could be the new ‘hot’ spot to hang out if the CIAA speeds up its investigation and our justices can hand out the verdicts as fast as our traffic wallahs hand us them so-called chits.

We now have three former ministers in Dillibazaar. I think they can now start a coaching class on how to be a neta to all the mundrey gundas and kidnappers holed up in the same prison. They could pay their fines from the tuition fees collected from their fellow prisoners, ni.

The bonus class for the semester can be ‘We got caught but you don’t have to.’ Mr. Wagle can teach a class on ‘how not to transfer your ill-gotten moolah to your son’s name.’

Shyam Sundar Gupta can teach a class on ‘why you shouldn’t fund your son’s wedding by kidnapping a businessman’ and JP Gupta can teach a class or two on media hola ni. Or he can start a new newspaper from prison – ‘the convict’ or something.

And let us thank our traffic police wallahs once again for trying to grab pedestrians from the Ratnaparak area as they try to sprint to the other side by dodging micros, bikes and what not.

Yes, we have the overhead bridges but most of our folks would rather get a full frontal view of the incoming traffic than watch the traffic jam from them bridges, kya. So if you get caught jaywalking, you will be fined Rs 50 rey, and if you don’t have the dough, then you get to spend two hours with our men in blue.

I think we can all make that two hours more productive if we all have our notes on ‘how to reform our police service’ handy.

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