Friday, February 17, 2012

All Police Chors? (APCs)

Finally, we have a verdict from our Supreme Court and our three amigos will be spending time in our jails learning to make some paper bags. I think they should also learn a new trade like plumbing or painting and stuff because they would be without dozens of police ‘slaves’ working for them in their homes when they come out of prison .

Hope someday, they will also come up with a report on how to reform our prisons as well. It really helps when you have insider information hoinuh ruh? In some ways, we have to feel sorry for our former IGPs. They couldn’t have really bought them faulty Armed Personnel Carriers (APCs) without making our former Home Ministers happy. Now, our homies are at their mansions, while our amigos will spend some quality time away from home.

But not to worry, a former IGP who spent some time in jail during the Panchey days is now heading the Nepal Ex. Police Association. Once our three amigos are out of prison, maybe they will get to be co-chairpersons of the association as well. I think they should make that a prerequisite hagi.

The other 31 police officers have been acquitted of all charges. The juniors will fit right in as if nothing happened but it would be tough for our AIGs. We will now have 10 AIGs instead of 8. Many years ago, we used to have two but they kept on adding more so that our political parties could get their ‘man’ wear an extra phooli!

One of the AIGs is our former Kollywood Hero. He still looks good enough to star in them movies and the other one is an honest cop who knows nearly every business wallahs in the city.
The Police Headquarters is having a hard time figuring out what to do with them now. Maybe they should get one to find funding for some cop movies while the other will get to act in them.

The recent Kollywood movie ‘Loot’ has stunned movie critics with its box office collections. Maybe our cops can do better and present the side of their story with ‘Boot’ since they use their boots on hapless citizens often.

It’s tough to be a police officer in ‘New Nepal’. A wanted fugitive is hobnobbing with our current Home Minister and the police don’t have the courage to arrest the slimebag. Of course, the Home Minister might transfer the ‘hero’ cop to Siberia if he or she goes around trying to get the ‘political’ goons.

A CA member sentenced to jail for murder by the Supreme Court is busy attending programs while senior police officers are forced to sit with him and smile back. Another CA member is in jail for abducting a businessman. This only happened in Bollywood movies or the grand old State of Bihar. Now, Bollywood has moved on and is turning ‘Hollywood’ and Bihar is doing much better. And our college students in India can’t sell cool jeans and boots from New Road for extra pocket money because the Desis have moved on from colorful shirts and funny jeans.

As usual, our ‘visionary’ politicians are above the law. Even the CIAA folks couldn’t find any evidence to link our politicians to the Sudan Scam. Someone needs to tell our investigators that all they need to do is haul in all our politicians’ personal assistants (PAs) and get hold of their black books. The ministers are busy cutting ribbons and attending exhibitions and what not. It’s the PAs who hold power to transfer a civil servant from Kholapani to Tatopani as long as the price is right.

We still have a few honest cops around. SP Kharel was doing a good job in Kathmandu but then he got transferred to a training center and he’s now in Parsa. Kidnapping and extortion have gone down quite a bit in the area after his posting there. If our film wallahs really want to make some moolah then they should do a movie on this guy. It would certainly break the box-office records.

If the producers of ‘Loot’ haven’t decided on the story for the sequel then they should think about making Haku Kale, a reformed thug who joins the police force and battles it out with our politicians and their goondas. And not to forget, he also fights with fellow police officers who have turned into thugs kya. That would be quite a contrast from reality hagi.

Well, the ending wouldn’t be a happy one because at the end of the movie, Inspector Haku Kale will be transferred to a remote district where he will have nothing to do but play chess with his constables. There’s an idea for the third part, Haku becomes a Chess Grandmaster and makes our country proud or something.


  1. Your blog never fails to amuse me. The truth that lies behind the satire of your column captures your readers very well. Thank you and keep it coming.