The Right to Loot

Our corrupt netas loot the state treasury so that their clans and cadres can live a good life. Our civil servants ask for bribes from service seekers so that they can make enough to pay the mantri for lucrative postings and set aside some dough to build a mansion in the capital. 

Our contractors do shoddy work so that they can build a nice villa in the outskirts of the valley. And we can't expect much from our contractors because they need to set aside chiya kharcha for our civil servants and mundrey gundas who are affiliated to major political parties. 

I think we will see the result of their inferior work, come rainy season, when all the newly paved roads will develop potholes the size of a pond.

And, we have our taxi wallahs who threaten to block the streets of Kathmandu if they are not allowed to tamper their meters. We have the transport wallahs who do not allow other vehicles to ply on the road because it's their area and they act like they own the highways.  

Our fuel tanker wallahs who get paid to transport the fuel for Nepal Oil Corporation now threaten to halt all distribution of fuel because they get caught looting. 

The tanker wallahs have been stealing fuel for ages but I guess someone forgot to pay the thulo mancheys and they got busted. We all know that we have been using adulterated fuel products but we are not in the position to take action against them chors. 

Those in authority have been making money from the byaparis and as always, it's us, the consumers who suffer. 

It's ironic that half of our political parties call themselves communist and claim to be fighting for the people but instead are actually 'wild capitalist pigs' who do not care about the problems of common citizens. 

I think they should get rid of the sickle and hammer nataks and just have bundle of banknotes as their party flags.

It seems like everyone is making money except the common folks. The clowns, civil servants, cops, contractors and con artists are making millions of Rupees whereas millions of us have no choice but to go to foreign lands to make a few Dinars and Ringgits. So when will all this looting stop?  

Some of us had expected the great comrade chairman to be our knight in shining armor. We were ready to forgive and move ahead hoping that the Maoists would finally take us to the promised land. 

But like the previous players, the comrades were busy looting the state funds and having fun. What happened on the way to Kathmandu?  

Why do our netas, who are willing to sacrifice their lives when they are fighting against the system, suddenly develop amnesia and morph into the evil oppressor they had fought against?

Our political parties tend to split because of petty issues.  Someone did not get to be the central committee member, let’s split. The other guy didn’t get the bottle of Red Label during Dashian, so it's time to split. If your cadres don't get access to state funds then it's time to break up the party and form your own circus company.  

Our netas who once travelled on foot in remote areas now need choppers to do the same. Our netas need bigger gas-guzzling SUVs and armed security personnel to drive around in the city now but before they hit the jackpot, they were more than happy to squeeze into the micro and feel and breathe the sweat of the common folks.  

Our great Emperor has once again shown us that he is not willing to let go off the money and muscles.  He wants to be the leader of his party for life. Dr. Saheb walked out of the national convention and is now in China.  He wants to learn the development model of the dumpling gang. 

So let us all learn a thing or two from our smarty pant! It's never too late to learn new stuff.

Baidya Ba is hell bent on picking fights with India and wants to prevent the Desis from investing in the hydro power projects in the country. Baidya Ba is still pissed at being arrested in India many years ago. 

If Baidya Ba and his angry birds really care about the people then they should operate fuel tankers and taxis so that the consumers will get clean and unadulterated fuel and won't have to pay double the meter fare.

The UML have been postponing their own convention because their leaders can't seem to agree on anything. Jhallu Baba is in China because he really wants to try out the shark fin soup. Maybe, he should launch his new music album in China and ask the Chinese to sing it in Mandarin. 

We are not sure if we will get the so-called constitution in a year but we are pretty certain that the looting will continue. Maybe, we should all wear sturdy boots and get on with the football 'World Cup' fever and practice some free kick skills on our chors. 

Just imagine their back side as the ball and go for it! And maybe, ask your buddy to capture it in your mobile and YouTube it as well. This country needs arse-kickers to fight against the arse-kissers!

Cash for Clowns

It's good to be a neta in this land of ours. They get free vehicle, fuel, security, chiya kharcha and when they have health problems, they get to fly abroad and seek medical treatment at the expenses of our taxpayers. But the common citizens have to empty their pockets to get even the basic of all services. 

Our brothers and sisters in remote areas have to spend lakhs of Rupees to charter helicopters to seek medical treatment in the capital. But if you are a corrupt clown then you don't have to spend a penny on your own because our cash-rich government will go all out to make sure that you get the best treatment available abroad. 

You spend your whole life fooling the public and one day, you get to be one of the so-called top leaders and that's when you get all the dough rolling in. Once you hit the jackpot, you get all the freebies the state has to offer and it will even be enough for your clan, cadres and far away cousins.

Our great leader KP Oli is in Bangkok and our government is happy to provide Rs 4 million for his treatment.  Our Prime Monster, who seem to have only three mobile phone as asset, has directed government officials to adopt all possible measures for Oli's treatment. 

Let's hope that someday we will have someone in Baluwatar who will direct government officials to adopt all possible measures to provide free healthcare to common citizens instead of only for corrupt clowns.

KP Oli is not a poor man. He has enough cash and land to fund his treatment on his own. But why are our clowns happy to receive free cash and benefits from the state coffer even when they don't need it?  

We have hundreds of Swami-jis from India visiting our land to promote peace and all the natak that comes with simple living and high thinking. And our netas meet and greet them but learn nothing from the preaching of the so-called gurus. 

But of course, most of our byaparis are also followers of such Swamis and yet, they continue to make money from fake VAT bills and adulterated products. Maybe, the Swamis are fake or his followers are just making sure they go to heaven by building temples and providing cash to the Swami and his entourage.

Our government hospitals are mostly run down due to mismanagement and limited resources whereas the private byaparis open hospitals and over-charge us to make tons of profits. The Desis built a trauma center in the middle of the city but our government has yet to begin operation because everybody wants to make some money in hiring and procuring medical equipment. 

Instead of spending millions for our clowns, our government should buy air ambulance so that the common folks can use them to fly to Kathmandu for medical treatment. It would be better if we had better hospitals in the districts. 

Maybe, we should ask all our foreign donors to build hospitals in all the districts in the country and they can operate our health posts in all the VDCs as well. 

After all, our government neither has the funds nor the human resources to help us and it would be nice if we had a competition for bideshis to run the best hospitals in the country. Yes, instead of wasting millions of dollars on so-called peace building and other nataks, our bideshi donors should spend more to build better hospitals.

But of course, our sarkari medical quacks and private byaparis will join hands to fight foreign help to make sure that they continue to make money by providing inadequate medical services to the common folks. 

A doctor who spends decades working in district hospital gets nothing from the government when he suffers from cancer but politicians who spend decades taking this country down the drain gets millions so that they can get the best available treatment.  

Instead of going to Delhi, Bangkok, Singapore, Tokyo and even far away to New York to seek medical treatment, our clowns should have asked the hospitals there to open their branches here in this land. Thousands of us now go to India and spend lakhs of Rupees to seek better medical treatment for our families. We do not get any help from the government and we have to use our own savings. 

But our clowns have no shame in getting funds from the state coffer for their medical treatment. Our politicians act as if the country owes them everything. Just because you have the ability to dish out hundreds of useless speeches doesn't make one a good politician. And just because you are a politician doesn't mean that you get free money at our expense. 

Let's all wish KP Oli a speedy recovery so that he can come back and be the new UML chairman. But KP Dai, please use your network, funds and cadres to build a world-class hospital and leave a legacy instead of just being one of them who got to enjoy all the perks and left us with nothing.

Ganesh Thapa Must Go!

Ganesh Thapa has been  heading the All Nepal Football Association (ANFA) since 1994 and it's about time, he stepped down and let others lead ANFA to greater heights. 

No man or woman should be allowed to lead any public organization for more than a decade. If you can't bring any changes in ten years then it would be foolish for all of us to expect the moron to do better again.

Let's learn a thing or two from Communist China. The dumpling gang change their leadership every decade. The old ones retire and spend their days swimming, drinking tea and practicing calligraphy. 

But that's not the case across the border where our Desi Dosa wallahs cling on to power until their last breath.  I think our netas and public officials follow the 'Desi' formula and work together to make our lives miserable.

A few  of our 'A' Division football clubs have boycotted the ANFA meetings because Thapa and his crew have been using the ANFA funds to enrich themselves while doling out peanuts to the clubs. 

Manang Marshyangdi Club (MMC) won the league last year and they have not received the full cash prize of Rs 7.5 million yet.  Maybe Thapa and his lads want to pay the league winner in installment that will go on for another decade.

ANFA receives hundreds of thousands of dollars from FIFA to develop football in Nepal but most of the funds go to pay off district Presidents and other members who have voting rights. 

No wonder, Thapa has two-third majority in the executive committee and he knows very well that no one can kick him out unless those who have received gift hampers suddenly develop a sense of morality and do the right thing.

Thapa is also good at keeping close ties with our politicians. A few weeks ago, one of our footballers received an apartment and our Emperor was there to hand over the gift. Both Thapa and our Emperor have three things in common. 

One, they both have been heading their respective organization for more than two decades. They both act like they have the divine right to lead their organization. And the most important stuff is of course the moolah. The Emperor controls all the funds and so does Thapa and they both use it to win over other comrades to help them stay on top.

Anil Gurung received a car thanks to Ncell. I hope ANFA will be kind enough to at least give him a free monthly voucher that will allow him to at least fill up 20 liters of petrol. Our ANFA officials don't have to worry about paying their bills but our footballers and clubs are struggling with financial problems.

It's not that we don't have good footballers in the country. Bimal bhai is doing great during his trial with a European club. Some of our footballers are playing in professional leagues in Asia. 

But here at home, our ANFA lazy bums fail to run the league consistently. One year, they do it and the next year, they scrap it and make it tough for our football clubs to survive.

Thapa's son received US$100,000 a few years ago from a Qatari who had high hopes of becoming the FIFA head someday.  Thapa claimed that it was a personal loan deal and it has already been cleared. 

If Thapa had the brains instead of only brawn then he would have asked the Qatari to provide millions to develop football in this country. Maybe, the Qataris would have even built us a few football stadiums and we would be more than happy to have 'Qatar Foundation' plastered all over the stadiums.

The Cricketers boycotted the national tournament and our Cricket Association wallahs were forced to sit down work towards resolving the crisis. 

Maybe, our football clubs should all boycott ANFA and without any football clubs in the country, ANFA can then organize maybe a two-a-side football tournament and have their own officials play the game. 

Ganesh Thapa shows no signs of quitting and instead, he challenges those not happy with his dictatorship to throw him out. He believes that ANFA is the most transparent organization in the country.  

Maybe, our football clubs should demand all the hisab kitab and how much dough he has spent so far making other district Presidents and voting members happy. 

After all, in this land of ours, you need the money and the muscles as well to win elections, be it national politics or in any other organizations.

Thapa is a former national team captain  and he knows very well how hard it is to survive playing football in this country. But Thapa and his crew are enjoying the high life while our football players play for the love of the game and barely make enough to live a decent life. 

We may not play in the World Cup any time soon but we should be winning most of our matches against our South Asian rivals. Thapa's two decades of dictatorship must come to an end but we need someone who will do his or her best to develop football instead of just having ANFA officials and their kids looting the funds.