Things to do in Nepal....

My didi ko baccha haroo ko nanny ko boyfriend went to Saudi Arabia a year ago. I told him not to go. He was a lucky man. He even won a lakh Rupees, tyo coke ko bottle cap ko number sumber SMS garey ruh.

But he had to go... because he wanted to go abroad and experience the 'bideshi' life like many of our young men ni. He went to King Abdullah's kingdom to make some extra Riyals... but like many of our folks... he got played bhancha ni.

He wasn't paid for like four months ani tyes pachi, he got like NRs 12,000.00 per month. I think he will be back in a year and according to his guff suff, he will be back with maybe a lakh rupees in savings hola.

The guy paid 80,000 to some agent. So he will save like 20,000 after working like a camel for two years. Khoi kinuh janey ho tyeta tira? He should have opened a chiya pasal or a khaja ghar.

The guy was really good at cooking them 'Nepali' spicy food kya. I even wanted to invest in his 'khaja ghar' but I guess he really wanted to ride them camels and learn some Arabic hola ni.

Work is work... Nepal ma hos ki Bidesh ma. The only difference is that in Nepal, you can slack off and you won't get fired kya. Jhan if you are a trade union wallah then you don't have to show up for work (if you attend them rallies and what not) and still get paid ... hehe!

Mero ghar agaadi euta kaath ko factory cha. The guy's been doing this 'furniture banau-ney' kaam for ages. His wife is already a hakim-ni (she really loves to boss them employees) and he has already built a 3 storey house pani.

Many of our welders, carpenters and even professional drivers have left for the Middle East. Ani baaki bhaako haroo ko tuh monopoly jasto nai cha yeha! The carpenter is a big man now. He won't come to our house to fix our doors and stuff. He won't even send his assistant.

I think you are more likely to get your valves fixed at Sahid Ganga Lal Heart Center next month but your door won't be fixed in a year kya. Lot of folks who come back from Bidesh (with some dough) seem to open restaurants here in the valley. But them 'restaurant' business is not easy kya.

You might have them hi-fi interior and stuff but what Nepalis love ... momo, chowmein and jay pani sadheko... hehe! So it's better to open a sekuwa palace than a Spanish restaurant kya!

Ani it's pretty hard to find really good employees nowadays. All our waiter bhais will work for a month or maybe six months and then the next thing you know, they are on their way to the Middle East or some poultry farm in Malaysia.

So if you are a restaurant sahuji or sahuni then please learn some cooking skills pani. You never know when them chefs quit kya. Nikkai vow sow khoj-chan rey!

There are a few restaurants in the valley ... uni haroo lay barsa ma 1-2 karod nai kamau-chan! Aroo tuh khoi... either just surviving or a bunch of byapari ko choros who have some extra pocket money and they want to open a place to hang out or something!

But the most important thing tuh customer service nai ho kya. Hamro kathmandu ko restaurant haroo ma ki khana atti nai mitho ani wait staff chahi 'sabai attitude problem bhaako ki chahi ramro customer service bhaako taruh kahana chai thik-thikai!

Lau.. hope our future restaurant wallahs have found the perfect recipe for success abuh tuh!

A friend of mine recently started a 'farming' thing. He and his saathis have leased like 100 ropani jagga in the outskirts of the valley. He is doing good rey and most of his employees are from Terai.

Yes, with due respect to Pahadis but Madeshis have greater work ethic hola.... ani uni haroo lai pani jit-ney tuh Desi bhai haroo nai ho! If you go to them housing sites... majority of them construction wallahs chahi sabi Indians.

Why? Because they work 12+ hours a day and don't complain and don't need to spend their money on new mobiles, new jeans and raksi saksi at night kya.

So if you really want to do something in Nepal instead of going abroad or if you are back home and want to be an entrepreneur then do what you know ki kay bhancha ni.

If you are a NASA ko scientist then sorry, we don't have any jobs for you. Better go back to Houston hola ni. But if you have a hotel management degree then get some experience (like 5 years) working for some hotels here and then only think about opening your own boutique hotel kya.

It probably takes 5 years to learn everything from 'Nepali Tyam', nautanki nataks of your employees and Nepal ma kaam garney tarika kya! But of course that doesn't mean you will be successful.

A friend of mine has a degree , tyehi hotel sotel ma from the 'Toblerone' land! He's been working at a five star hotel for the last 6 years hola.

He and his friends opened a restaurant a few years ago and invested like 25-30 lakhs hola. Well, their business venture failed. And the guy is a F&B wallah... hehe!

So just because you have a degree from the Kennedy School of Government doesn't mean that you can run the 'Nepali' government kya! I tell my 'Just Back' friends that instead of throwing away their hard-earned dollars and Euros.. baroo just go trekking ... do that 'Great Himalaya Trail' or something!

Visit your old friends who are now sahujis or maharanis of Kathmandu and listen to them. Well, most of the tyam they will probably be giving you a BT (Big Talk as they say in 'Darjeeling' hehe!) but they are the ones driving around in them SUVs and spending lakhs on them gym membership fees ni.

Not all of them are into 'Fake Vat Bills' hola ni but most of them do know how to bribe the right people kya.. hehe! But for those who plan to go away to work and make a few extra dollars.... my advice would be .... don't do it! If you want to go abroad for further studies then you really should go kya.

But of course, if you do get them 'office' jobs that pays fairly well then do go and make and save some dineros! My cousin works in Dubai kyaaruh... computer somputer, he makes 40,000 a month. Tyesto job tuh garnoo parcha.. Nepal ma either you have to join D2Hawkeye or INGO to make that kind of money ni.

Nepal ma pani cha ramro school haroo but not everyone will get admission to KU or IoE ni! And if you really have no education (only matric pass!) then you won't get much in Nepal.

Dherai bhaye 7,000 hola... tyeso bhaney chahi, please learn them 'Korean' bhasa and take the test and go to South Korea. You will be making at least 60,000 Rupees a month kya. 5 barsa ma kehi savings hooncha ani farkey-ruh kehi garney ni!

Mero thulo bau ko gaun ma basney bhai did just that and he is flying to Korea next year. He came to visit me last month. I told him to crash at my place but he and his friends were staying at them guesthouse in Sundhara rey.

He asked me for some advice. Why do people ask me for advice kya? If they really knew me then they would rather offer me a bottle of Prozac hola... hehe! Anyways, I told him to relax and spend time with his family. And no wild parties or bike tour sour.... ani what did he do when he went to his gaun?

He had them wild parties and did a bike tour and broke his leg rey. Lau ja.... you have to be careful kya. Ek barsa dukha garey ruh Korean test pass bhayo abuh janey bela ma arko natak!

Niva wanted me to write about "things to do in Nepal (in relation to those who migrate to overseas and forget about things one can do in Nepal)" ... but as usual, I have wandered off hola!

My cousin is planning to go to Canada. He works for a really good 'Nepali' company. He makes 50,000 a month and they have given him a bike, laptop etiyaadi pani.

He has never been to a foreign land except India. India doesn't count rey.. uslay nai bhanya. I have never been to India. I really want to go to India someday... do the 'All India' tour hehe!

I told my cousin to save his money and not spend 2-3 lakh to get Canada ko PR CR kya. Buda budi jaaney rey. Yeha ko po MBA , Canada ma gayeruh kay garney... unless he will be happy working at some convenience store owned by a Punjabi Paaji!

With due respect to folks who work at convenience stores but my cousin wants to be a CEO someday. He won't be a CEO in Canada but Nepal ma tuh, he already has a good job and is now well-conneceted... abuh 10-15 barsa corporate ladder chawd-dai gayo bhaney tuhu CEO tuh banlaa ni!

I told him to get another MBA from some Canadian university if he really goes to Canada and then maybe move to the Middle East and work for some 'Kuirey' corporation there kya. Natra bhaney he won't be happy, selling BMC Masalas to Desi aunties ni.

But he is a hard working man. I think he will make it anywhere (better start watching them 'ice hockey' stuff if you want to be a CEO in Canada hehe!) but it's the same formula everywhere ni.

Even if you are pumping gas somewhere in Alabama and if it's only a summer job then that's fine but if you really want to get into the gas station business then you have to work there for at least 5 years so that you know the inside-out ni ani afnai business garney ni!

And this is coming from a guy who once was very happy when Rajat Gupta headed McKinsey. Rajat-ey... why did you become a 'bad arse' just to make a few million dollars more kya?

Anyways, I have a reputation of being one of the laziest employees around. And people tell me that I change jobs like Lady Gaga changes her undergarments! I suck at them analogies, don't I?

I think in my previous life .. I was a consultant hola ni... or the guy who really had no goals in life ki kay bhanca ni.. hehe!

Nepal offers more opportunities than in the West kya. Ask them Europeans who are doing pretty well with their 'cheese' farms but they have the skills ni. So if you don't have the skills then you really can't sell yourself anywhere kya.

With due respect to a dance bar dancer but even if you work there, you need to have some dancing skills ni hoinuh ruh? So when people complain that Nepal ma kehi chaina... Nepal ma sabai kura cha.

Yes, not all of us are connected or corrupted or can choose the easy chor-way out ni. But nearly all of us are confused.. tyo tuh ho hagi! I am a successful failure. Tyo 'Apollo 13' ko die-log chorya mailey!

I have tried nearly everything possible except climb Mount Everest or write a book hola. I have no plans to climb Everest ... never! I am not a 'mountain' man! I can't do it!

But someday I do plan to write a book. My sister tells me that I should write one... about my 'time-pass' in them foreign lands where I developed a funny 'Govinda' accent by watching Comedy Central 24/7 and learned nothing but the names of all them food-stall wallahs at Newton Circus hehe!

My 1,000+ days of 'reverse culture shock' pachi.. what I have learned in Nepal chai... you need patience, perseverance and persistence! I think yo formula tuh sabai thau ma nai laagoo hooncha .. be it Nepal or Naples kya!

It's not easy like in the West, where your ivy league degree can get you a job as M&A wallah at some Wall Street firm ni! But of course tyes pachi maathi janey tuh afnai hard work lay nai ho ni.. and yes a little bit of politics tuh jaha pani hooncha nai!

Nepal ma tuh , even our KU MBA wallahs have to start off as either interns or low-level bank employees kya. And no .. you won't learn the magic formula from KU ko MBA school... just go back to 1996..and follow our Mao-buddies.

Yes, they are into extortion and all that BS and act more like a mafia organization but Mao Inc. can teach us a lot ... on how to survive and finally succeed in Nepal!

I am not saying that you should go blow up a police post in Rolpa again or start writing 'voluntary donations' to byaparis... Nepal ma atta-liye-ruh kaam chaina.

Take it easy.... but make a plan, 10 barsey plan! Or if you have tyam then do attend the 'Thursdays' program conducted by the E4Nepal wallahs! Hear from them folks who have made it here.

If you go through them list sist, 99% of them are neither grandsons of Chandra Shumsher or come from Marwaari families kya. Bhanna khojya..... don't blame your lack of education or money or muscles .... ki chai PhD garey ruh Nepal farkaw ki chahi.... mey-haw-nawt gareruh paisa kamau! If all fails.. then join politics... hehe!

And one more thing, a lesson from Gyanu Uncle chahi.... better listen to customer feedback and hire competent professionals rather than your cronies and chamchas.

Our Mao-buddies are repeating the same mistakes ... khoi our netas will never learn hola but they can afford to make mistakes because they need only six months to head a government and they can make enough to last their saat-pustaaz ni.

Tara hami tuh, law-abiding citizens haroo haum... we can't afford to act like them chors ni. So follow the 3Ps.... stay calm, stay on course and stay foolish and hungry pani.. hehe!

Civic Sense...

I was once at Alka Hospital .... line ma... had to get some meds for my 'Nepali' stomach kya. Uncleji was behind me .... ani he was either in a hurry or was once a wrestling champ hola ... because he had his arms around mine and was trying to get some pills even though he knew that the pharmacy guy was trying his best to fill up line ma baw-sey ko haroo ko dabai sabai.

I had to tell our 'Sumo' uncle to back off ... he did for a second and then was back again to his 'arm' wrestling techinques. Khoi kay bhanney... we are all in a hurry hagi.. welcome to 'New' Nepal where we now act like pricks! Even them cave-men and women were probably more civilized hola hagi.

I have a new neighbor who really loves to park his 'shiny' third-hand japani gaadi right in front of my gate. I tried writing a nice little note once.. it didn't work! I tried shouting at sabai chimeki ko ghars.. it didn't work either!

Finally, I had no choice but to wait like 4 hours, outside my gate for the 'jagga dalal' to show up. I showed him the street parking .. yes, quite lucky to have them 'street' parking thing in my neighborhood.. aaj kal Kathmandu valley ma kaha bato ma parking garney thau cha ruh?

I once decided to go crazy and started a monthly neighborhood cleaning program in my tole. I did it for a year and half. Every Saturday morning from 7am to like 9 or 9:30!

Every week, I would distribute 200+ invitations to our tole-baasis. Only 10 would show up. So I had no choice but to ask the local police wallahs, the APF wallahs and ek choti tuh I even asked the Nepal Army guys from the barracks to come help us out.

They all did... but my tole-baasis never came to help out except my friends and six ladies from the local 'Naari' samuha!

Two years ago, half the road would be blocked by them trash srash dumped by them local vegetable sellers. There was a boutique hotel nearby. Them owners are descendants of some Shree Tin Maharaja. They didn't care.

Bam Dev was the Home Minister then hola... he drove to his office everyday.. tyehi bato batuh. He didn't care. He was more worried about police promotions and stuff ni. So one day, I asked the local sanitation company to resolve them issues they had with our vegetable mafia!

The municipality wallahs drive them old rusty trucks and they only pick up yeta oota ko fohor. They were pretty good when we were in high school. Tyeti bela tuh Germany lay aid said din-thyo ni. Thula Thula container etiyaadi.

The Chinese have given us them 108 trucks rey. Khoi sabai dhoosi parey ruh basi raa-chan rey. There are now many private waste management companies and they do a pretty good job. But our local vegetable sellers were not willing to pay Rs 50 a month to the private company to haul their trash rey.

So I visited the local veggie market and requested them to pay the monthly fee. We all do ni ... ani bato bhari tarkari ko fohor... they didn't care.. they were wearing them masks sasks and carrying on their business kya.

Then one guy threatened me ... 'tapai thar-kau-naw nau-awoo-noos' ... 'hamro pani manchey cha kya' ... I was drinking Sprite. I should not have but I did... I just decided to see for myself if the Sprite ko bottle was breakable or not. So I decide to test it on his head. I guess he got the message and so did the rest of them local byaparis.

Today, the bato has been cleared... it's been all safa and no fohor for the last two years. They pay their monthly 'trash' fee on tyam. They are still charging jpt prices for them veggies anyway but so far... it's all good ni.

I even asked the local YCL honcho to win the hearts and minds of the local people by helping the tole sole kya. Bichara.. he was too busy coordinating them local thugs for them local tender sender nataks.

I don't blame them political cadres pani... all of them are in it for the money kya. They have to survive.. yestai ho Naya Nepal ma. If you ask them to take a pop quiz on them communist bichar-dhara... nearly all of them would get a 'F' hola. Sabai goonda ki opportunists ko bhela po rahecha.. kay desh banau cha yesta daaka haroo lay.

Ye... was supposed to talk about 'civic sense' in Nepal, Kathmandu etiyaadi.. hehe! I tend to wander off kya.. yestai ho ... hehe!

I usually take the tyampoo to work. Every tyam, the tyampoo stops in front of Kathmandu Mall... there will be like 20 folks rushing to get in even before we get off kya. Sometimes, I tell them 'Ek Chin .. hami lai jhar-naw dinoos'.. ani sometimes when I am not happy with the guffs by the RJ at the local FM station then I just rush out like a guy jumping off a burning train or something. The guy trying to dive in ... has to back off or is backed off by my sudden 'I want to get out' natak hehe!

The other day... I was waiting for the Micro after work. Tyampoo sabai pack sack... the Micro stopped in front of me and as I was ready to get in, a lady (works for some finance company... yes all them co-ops and finance wallahs have their dress code ni). She just rushed in, threw me off-balance, her bag hit my left eye.

She didn't even apologize kya... so it's not only them men who are 'jungalees'.. we also have 'Jungle' Queens pani.. hehe!

Back in the 90s... everybody would just get off their seats and ask them ladies to sit down... abuh tuh, khoi kay ho..... chivalry is dead in Kathmandu hola!

And no, let us not blame the 'gaun' wallahs or them out-of-towners or fresh off the bus or whatever.... most of them traffic violators are people with at least them high school education or them so-called 'hoonay khaney' kya!

I think we men, should give up our seats to our grandmothers, aunts and the sick and pregnant ladies .. bhanna khojya sabai naari haroo lai kya! Well if you are sick, or a disabled man then it's not a good idea to give up your seat hola but you know what I mean!

I think, we Nepalis have this 'ghar bahira jay pani chalcha' mentality. We clean our homes, we have a nice garden etiyaadi.. ani fohor chahi bahira huttai-dey!

I still remember my Dad, in the 90s.. waking up at like 5 in the morning and carrying a big stick ... trying to figure out who was dumping them fohor bato sato ma! Finally, he found the culprit... He was a hakim saheb at some mantralaya.. hehe!

We can't expect people to change by themselves kya. We do need to come up with tough fines and enforce it pani. That's how Singapore did it! If Lee Kuan Yew had thought that Singaporeans would just realize their mistakes and be better citizens and just left all of them to do their own thing then Singapore today would see them racial riots and what not!

And Lee grandpa wouldn't be the 'Minister Mentor' ni... and PAP would have been kicked out a long tyam ago hola but Singapore ma sabai thik cha except them 'freedom of speech' thing.

You can do whatever you want as long as you are not vandalizing, kicking other people or burning stuff kya. Mero experience ma tuh ... I think Singapore is more 'free' than Amrika. If you have lived in Singapura and them Amrikan cities then you know what I mean! If you haven't lived in them places then don't worry.. just trust me when I say that Lee's garden is more fun than so-called 'Amriki' thau haroo!

Kishunji onced promised us that Nepal would be Singapore... well, Jhingapur tuh banai halyo yee sabai chor neta haroo lay! I think Kathmandu Valley chahi baroo Singapore jastai banau milcha hola.

Aroo kehi naw-bhaye pani.... fohor sohor, vandalism sandalism garney haroo lai kada fine ruh back-side ma 6-7 korra pani!

Or maybe we need to ask JICA to send us like 10,000 volunteers like that 'old' Japani guy, a traffic volunteer who even asked the DIG to hand him his driving license. The DIG didn't have it with him rey. And one day, I saw him nearly choking a pedestrian who was trying to dodge traffic and get to Norvic hospital hola.. hehe!

If the Karate Kid ko guru (hehe.. the Japani uncle) hadn't choked the bugger then he would have been hit by a speeding Micro and would have landed at Norvic anyway!

And we have already seen how effective the 'no smoking in public places' law has been hagi! This is where our Mao-buddies can really win the hearts and minds of the people kya.

If they are still thinking of a one-party state then it would be a waste of tyam for them hola but if they really want to win the next general election then they better use them YCLs for community service kya.

If our comrades were really into changing the way we live, act etiyaadi then it's about tyam they helped our traffic police, sanitation workers and even the chor-police ni.

Our police-wallahs are seriously undermanned.. population chahi 10 goona lay badi sakyo... tyehi 3-4,00 hajar lay kaam chalau! Everything.. bato sato, paani , batti... khoi neta haroo jindagi kaam garey ruh khaa-ye ko bhaye po , thaha hoonthyo janta ko marka? Jahiley pani fokatey ko guff hanyo ani lootyo .. basyo!

Expecting our netas and even our own folks to change is like waiting for the Halley's comet hola ni. That would happen after 50 years hola. (2061 AD ma aucha rey!) ki ek din lai change hoonay ani arko 70-75 barsa dekha naw-parney?

So let us change ourselves first. Do your part kya.... be a civic-minded citizen ki kay bhancha ni. Amrika ma bhaye .. law-abiding citizen hoo-noo bhan-thyo.. abuh hya tuh kay ko law saw.... chor-neta ban-noo ani no need to follow the rule of law nai!

Don't throw your cigarette butt bato ma... carry a portable ashtray with you .. if you see a person throwing something then gently remind him or her to pick it up and find a trash can (yes, KMC now has them green trash thing everywhere) or keep it with themselves till they get home ni.

If they stare at you like you gone crazy then I think it's better if you pick it up yourself and tell the thulo manchey that you will dispose it yourself! Or carry a trash bag with you nai and pick it up yourself and pachi ghar gayeruh... you can build a big plasti-bag ko tent (with holes.. sabai kacchi tuh chan ni!).

And one more thing before I stop my guff for today. I hope Min is not disappointed with my guff hola.. hehe! I need to ask them bike manufacturers to install some kind of an automatic braking (sensor) system because most of them bikes in the valley don't have brakes rahecha!

Them bike-wallahs see them pedestrians crossing them street but they never stop kya. They either wait for the last minute to stop when they realize that they will probably hit the person or will try to squeeze by and probably hit you with their handle sandle.

Well, them bike-wallahs hogging all our pavements and making them leg-wallahs life hell has stopped for now thanks to our traffic cops! But seriously... either them bike-wallahs need a separate, 'one-bike' lane or need to be asked to take a 3 years BTR (Bachelor's in Traffic Rules) course before they get their license hola!

Ek side batuh po over-take garney ni... daya ani baya batuh pani bike sike.... ani aroo gaadi chaluney lay tuh abuh co-pilot nai hire garnoo parney bela ayee sakyo hagi! And the Micro-drivers need to learn how to stop their vehicle at them bus stops and not in the middle of the road or whenever they see someone waving kya.

Bato ko paari arko lai bye bye gari raa hola... yetti kai rokh-chan Micro guruji... bato ko bich-ma.. hehe!

My sister had a scootie once. She sold it since she had to go to chimeki rastra for her further studies. And one day, I was with her and the way she rode that bike made me scream at her. She was like ... 'Brother, you have seen nothing.. this is how you ride in Kathmandu!'...

Yes, you don't look left or right or even use your brakes.... just speed ahead and squeeze here and there or else you will be stuck in traffic for another hour or two rey. Well, why the hell are we in a hurry?

If every freaking thing works on Nepali tyam then why the @#$! are we all rushing to get to the cinema hall or restoo-rant or even squeeze in that Micro Bus even when it's not even the last bus kya!

Everybody is running around as if they are late for some important meeting with Bill Gates or something. I even had to follow one guy , uha bike ma , muh chahi didi ko gaadi maa.... he nearly crashed into the vehicle thapathali ma cause he was speeding. So I was pissed kya.... ani lastuh ma gayeruh tyo Lainchaur ko DDC ma ice-cream khana hatar bhaye ko rahecha tyo bahini lai!

Bike chala-ko eestyle tuh muh chahi kun chai mundrey goonda hola bhaney ko tuh nursing pawd-ney bahini po parecha. Kay bhanney abuh 'DDC ko ice-cream mithai hooncha' bhaney ruh gaye afno bato... hehe!

Anyways, I no longer am an angry man. I have mellowed down in the last 500 days kyaaruh. I don't run out of the gates and start hitting people with a stick when they are cursing and fighting in my neighborhood at 3 in the morning.

I don't beat folks up for throwing them trash srash bato ma.. I pick it up and store it in my backyard for the sanitation guy to pick it up the next day. I don't even argue with them Micro-wallahs for kocha-ing enough people to break some kind of a Guinnes World Record!

I just do my own stuff... I don't want to be taking them blood pressure ko pills soon ni. So let us just do our part.... and hope someday, we will finally get someone like Lee Kuan Yew. I like the 'tough fines' and 'caning' part but not them censorship thing ni feri.

Hope Dr. Saheb can do something about this.... abuh tuh usko pani tyam sakya jasto cha .. khoi... Prachandoo could have been Lee Kuan Yew and he still can be one. Stop dreaming about becoming a combo of Buddha-Gandhi-Jungay kya.

Tyeso ban-naw lai tuh ki tyo Rolex ghadi , lakh-au ko khaat ani pariwar tyaag-noo paryo... ki daura-surwal lagaa-yeruh shaanti yatra ma hidnoo paryo ki chahi sabai afnaa opponents haroo lai marnoo paryo ni!

So.... it's about tyam our netas ani hami pani.. we all need to step up and do what's right ... ki kaso?

Ani one more thing... yo queue ma bas-daa kheri... I think people need to understand that it's more like a single-file thing than four jungalees trying to get their stuff done at the same tyam, be it them bank sank or sarkari office kya. Ani bato ma hid-daa sabai angaal maardai, bato nai dhaak-nay garey ruh hid-noo parcha ruh?

100,000 and counting...

I started guff-ing back in 1997... .tyeti bela blog slog bhanney thiyenuh kyaaruh! I had them free account at tripod.com and my friend from the UK would do his 'cool' cartoons for my so-called guff-ing site.

So it's been 14 years since I started writing guffs online. Back then, our Mao-buddies were just starting to steal them old rusty guns from some remote police post here and there. The Congressis were busy looting the national coffer and late King Birendra would walk from his palace to his daughter's ghar in Thamel once in a while and folks were more laid back.

Today, we are a 'republic' , but it has been more of a 'rip off the public' nataks so far. The monarchy is gone... the Maoists and Madeshi netas make money while the Congressis are broke and once again on the verge of a break-up.

I discontinued my guffs on 2001 after the 'Royal Massacre' ... I don't know why... then began my guff suff on 2003 and then quit on 2007. Tyes pachi, feri.... I began on late 2008 but began writing daily from October 2nd, 2010 till October end ... but I broke my vow of daily-guffing last week .. hehe!

Yes, Nepal has changed except our 'Nepal Police' ... hehe! They still act like chors and cannot speak without using foul language and bamboo sticks! We don't have netas like Ganesh Man Singh, Man Mohan Adhikari, Madan Bhandari .... we have Baban Singh, VAT Mohan Adhikari (he was there pahila pani!) and the panchey-congressi-madeshi neta Sharad Singh Bhandari hehe!

We don't have them black tyampoos and Vikram tyampoos anymore. But we have 'Safa' Tyampoos now ... that's good! Sajha Buses are now rusting in them Sajha ko parking lot. Now, we have them 'killer' Micros ni.. that's not good!

We had so-called fashion models then and we still do... baroo instead of them models, I think it's about tyam we all learned to play the 'maadal' hola... hehe! With due respect to them 'models' and all them so-called 'beauty queens' but Malina Joshi represents the 'real' Nepali woman!

She is beautiful, smart ani paw-dya pani chin ni... I hope she doesn't date some rich byapari's son like them previous Miss Nepals and act like a 'trophy' girlfriend ... hehe!

It doesn't matter if you are only matric-pass or have a Master's in Conflict Resolution or something... taruh be a good person ni... don't act like Paris Hilton kya... we are not in Hollywood hai!

I think she should go for a PhD hola... that would really intimidate our so-called 'KTM' ko heroes ... who think driving a SUV and talking about Ambanis and Trump's daughter is really inspiring.

Baroo ... if you have all them 'fake VAT Bill' ko millions in your bank account then why not build a school in Dolpa or fund a local (free) health clinic ni?

We had better roads, street lights and ali ramro waste management system then... now, naw bato ramro, jaado lagey ki batti nai gayeb ani naw tuh fohor ko management nai cha!

Of course, population in the valley has increased from half a million to more than 5+ million ni.... and unless we have local elections and local ward chairpersons and mayor-nis... we really won't see much improvement in our roads and tole sole kya. Our so-called all-party gangsters will continue to steal our state funds and we will continue to stay quiet and go on with our lives hola ni!

Anyways, I just want to thank all of you ... wherever you are ... for reading my guffs! A year ago, on this day, I had like 1,400 page views kyaaruh. I only wrote kahiley kaahi then... ahiley tuh, we have crossed the 100,000 mark!

Tyam to party hola... so this year, I will be sending you a Christmas/New Year card to all them folks who read my blog. It doesn't matter where you are ... as long as you are not an astronaut and up there in some space station kya. Just send me an email at guffadi@gmail.com!

Please mention your full name, DOB, mailing address. I promise to send you a X'mas/New Year card this year and maybe the next one will be when this guff-ing site reaches the million mark hola ni.. hehe!

And from November 1st onwards, I will only be writing what you want me to write about or something like that. Tomorrow, I will be guff-ing about 'civic sense in Nepal' then on Nov 2nd chahi, 'Things to do in Nepal' and third ma '10 things ....' . Thank you Min, Niva and Sagainspired for giving me the topic!

If you want me to guff about something, then do use the 'comment' section below and mention the date pani. Nov 4th dekhi sabai khaali na cha hai!

Once again, thank you and God Bless America... ye sorry.. Naya Nepal!

Ye.. and a big thank you to one of the Guffadians who has decided to open a Facebook fan page.. thanks hai! I will buy you a dinner when you are in town hai!

Do visit the Guffadi FB Page and likes sikes it pani!

And thank you Nepali Times, esp the famous writer, Rabi Thapa for paying me to publish my guffs. And of course, Republica and their crew ... for having me as one of them blogumnists hehe! And thank you to my love, coach, editor and therapist pani.. I love you!