Saturday, November 5, 2016

Salmon Diplomacy

Our incompetent government sure knows how to welcome bideshi guests. Yes, declare a public holiday so that millions of us can stay home and spend quality time with our families. The kids spent their day playing games online while the parents spent their day, going through their wallets, trying to figure out how much money was spent during the Tihar festival.

Our government blocks our roads, tell the people to shut down their shops and not even look out the window when the bideshi guest is out on the street. It seems that our government is scared of its own people. 

Let us expect more public holidays whenever another bideshi VVIP is in town. They tell us that the Chinese President will drop by sometime this year. If he really comes to our city then let us put on some kind of a 'dragon dance' show on the street instead of asking us to stay home again. 

At least the Pancheys used to ask the schools to send the kids to the street and provide them with flowers and flags. All they had to do was to stand, wait for hours and when the guest and his entourage passed by, wave and yell loudly as if they were happy to see the VVIP! 

But our 'New Nepal' government does not want to trouble our school kids or even ask the pubic to join the fun. We have a caring government now. Who wants to stand in the sun for hours and wait for a few seconds for the VVIP to pass by and then go home. We would rather stay home and vent our anger in social media!

Our so-called politicians must have enjoyed the dinners hosted for the Desi President. Our President should fire some of our Foreign Ministry folks for the stupid State Banquet menu. Why on Earth do we need to offer Norwegian Salmon to the Desi President? 

Why not Dal Bhat or even roti and sabji? Maybe Malekhu ko Maccha would be okay but it seems that our government wants to try some Western dishes so that when our VVIPs go abroad, they will not have to figure out how to eat the stuff in front of them!

At least our Emperor did the right thing by offering Bara and Nepali dishes but we could have saved a few Rupees if he had invited the President to some local joint in Kirtipur instead of another five-star hotel!

As usual, our politicians put on their 'arse-kissing' act before the bideshi guest. Our President thanked India for helping us with our development projects. Our Prime Monster even went further and told the Desi President that he was a super-hero and everyone should be like him. I guess our politicians have already forgotten about the blockade and how much we suffered then. 

The Desi President told our netas that they will have to bring the Madhesi parties on board and resolve the political crisis in the country. It's the same speech from every other Desi politician. All India wants is a peaceful, stable and prosperous Nepal. 

But all our politicians want to divide the country so that they can enjoy the loot amongst themselves and we know that India really doesn't have a favorite and view all our politicians as the same bunch of pickpockets who beg for cash and what not from the Desis and then come home and rant against them!

Well, the Desi President is back home now. Hope he had fun visiting Janakpur and Pokhara even if it was just for a few hours. Now, let us hope our Madam President will visit Delhi soon and the Indian government will also declare a public holiday then.  Our next Prime Monster, Deuba Uncle is also in India. Maybe, he wants to meet the Desis and plan his 9-month stay in Baluwatar in advance!

The Amrikis will elect a new President this week. They tell us that it's going to be a tight race but let us hope that Amrika, the land of the free will finally elect a woman President instead of an 'ignorant, racist, sexist pig'. And then we can invite Hillary to Nepal. She's been here before as the First Lady. If she doesn't have the time, then Bill can come as the First Gentleman!

It's back to the normal daily routine for all of us. Our politicians will wait until Chhath festival before they begin their same 'circus' acts. We all know that our netas do not think of the big picture. They have only short-term vision which is to loot the state, the people and the resources of this country. 

Their long-term plan is to make sure that their kids are all settled aboard and if things go crazy, run away from this land and enjoy the illegal-wealth stashed in bideshi banks! 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

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