Saturday, November 12, 2016

God Bless America

Amrika had the chance to elect the first Madam President but it failed and now, the world has to deal with Trump. The world is shocked that such a man could win the Presidency of the United States. Well, the Amrikans are different from the rest of us. They drive on the other side, they don't care about Celsius, Kilometers and Liters! It's Fahrenheit, Miles and Gallons!

A day before the election, Trump was an outsider who wanted to not only rock the boat but get on it and sail away for another four years. Well, that's what he has managed to accomplish and he gets to sit in the Oval office and have fun! 

Trump is right when he tells the world that this was a movement, and people voted for him not because he was qualified but they were tired of the establishment and wanted to break the status quo. 

We can no longer call him a sexist, a racist or whatever names you can come up with. He is now the 45th President of the United States of Amrika. Well, he will be once he takes the oath on 20th January, until then he can ask his people to at least teach him how to talk like a normal person and tone down be it his voice, posture or even his hair!  

Amrika is not New York City and you can't be walking around like a 'Don' and expect the world to bow down to you. It's not as easy as grabbing something and getting away with it like he usually did during his days as a businessman.

During the election campaigns, the Amriki candidates go crazy. They call each other names and make up stories and hope that the voters will elect the ones who can come up with the biggest lies. But once the election is over, things go back to normal. Hillary had kind words for Trump and so did Trump for Hillary. Even after all the nataks, Trump is now Hillary's President, he is the President for all Amrikans. At the end of the day, everyone is on the same team. Amrika comes first!

But in this land of ours, our politicians come first. Their political parties comes next and then the cadres and then their chamchas and con artists who can make them as much moolah as possible while in power. Amrika shows the world that even though politics is dirty, when it comes to handing the baton, there will always be a peaceful transition. 

Obama hates Trump and Trump is the guy who questioned Obama's right to be the President. Trump still think Obama has a fake birth certificate. But it's all over now. Obama is leaving the White House and Trump is moving in. 

Here in this land of ours, we have had peaceful transitions since the Shree Tins left the building. Earlier, it would be one of the five 'warrior' families killing each other so that they can have some fun. But since the 50s, we just allow the other guy to either leave the country or just let it go and let him or her continue to enjoy the illegal wealth he or she has amassed. 

Yes, we still have the Shree Tins cousins with property worth billions of Rupees. We still have the Pancheys who made millions and even continue to be active in politics today. Our Morons, the Kangaroos and the Unidentified Mundrey Leaders have mansions and continue to enjoy the loot. Our Maoist and Madhesi netas have fared no better and instead of breaking the status quo, have become part of the establishment and engage in corruption like crazy.

So what will President Trump do in his first 100 days? Our Emperor thinks he has done a lot since he became our Prime Monster more than three months ago. Yes, give a few thousand Rupees to a few thousand our of displaced families. How can one build a house with a lakh or two and that too in installment.  And we can't blame our brothers and sisters who took the money and instead spent it on clothes and food during the Dashain festival!

If Trump really follows up on his campaign promises then in the next hundred days after he takes office, Amrika will build walls along the Mexican border and make the Mexicans pay for it. He will kick out all Muslims from Amrika, deport tens of millions of illegal immigrants and make it harder for some of us to get the US Visa either for studies, vacation or to just get in the country and somehow stay there till we legalize our status. 

But politicians make promises that they will never fulfill. And it won't be easy trying to carry out your campaign promises which really doesn't make any sense at all. The world need not be scared of Trump! Let us all wish him the best and hope he will be a successful President like Dubya!  

And you never know, he might even be the first President to resign because he could still get caught up with not paying his taxes or some other business deals gone wrong. At least the Amriki have the courts and the legislative branch that checks the power of the President. 

Here,  the Court sentences a guy to prison but the politicians protect him and our police turn the other way. In our land, we can get away with evading taxes and what not. At least in Amrika, if the IRS comes after you and you really screwed up when filing your taxes then you might or most likely will end up in jail no matter who you are. And no, this is not end of the world! Someday Amrika will have a Madam President and that day is not that far away! 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

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