Saturday, September 17, 2016

Emperor's Vacation!

Our Emperor is in India with his jumbo entourage. As usual, our corrupt government is good at wasting our taxpayers' money on such visits. Why on earth do you need hundreds of folks to accompany our Prime Monster? 

Why can't a dozen folks tag along and save us a few million Rupees?  Let us hope that one day, we will only have our Prime Monster and his security detail along with two or three advisors visiting foreign lands instead of making it look like it's some kind of a college tour program. 

It seems like our government is a travel operator and wants to take as many folks as possible at the expense of our taxpayers' money. And our civil servants, politicians and con artists will not forgo the opportunity to get a free vacation package even if it's just for a trip across the border and for a few days. It would have been better if we had sent our Prime Monster and his entourage on buses. 

They could then at least see the state of our highways and the difference between our border areas and those of the Desis. And at the same time, they could have counted how many pillars are missing as they crossed the border. 

Our Emperor tells us that he is visiting India to bring our relationship with our chimeki back on track.  Yes, our comedian Oli also told us that he would be doing the same thing when he went to India as well. 

We all know that the Desis really do not trust our politicians and neither do we. So it seems that our Prime Monsters have to visit Delhi after they take office to make sure that they are still in the good books with the Desis. 

Yes, India did help us after the earthquake but the blockade natak screwed us all. Our government failed to resolve the crisis in all ways possible. If our chor netas can't even bring other chor netas on board and resolve the political crisis in the country then there is no point in always blaming the Desis for all the problems in this land. 

If we keep on fighting with each other and act like buffoons, our chimeki will surely take advantage of it. 

Look at the Desis! It does not matter who becomes their Prime Monster, the policies towards Nepal rarely change and we have to deal with the same issues every year. But here in this land, our politicians think getting few trucks load of stuff from China will help us to reduce our trade deficit and dependence on India. 

And our politicians and civil servants act like beggars whenever they meet the Desis. Instead of working together to make things right, our civil servants will ask for scholarships for their children while our chor netas will ask for cash and moral support to stay in power. 

Our experts tell us that we need a new comprehensive policy towards each other but our lazy civil servants never do their homework and are never prepared to discuss any issues with the Desis because they only think for themselves and their families and not the country and the people. 

The last time our Emperor was in India, he hugged Mickey Mouse so tightly that the poor economist could no longer function. Since then India has Modi living in Race Course Road whereas we have had nearly half a dozen folks in Baluwatar.  

Let us hope that this time, our Emperor can impress Modi with his 'dandiya dance'.  And stop drinking bideshi whiskey for a day or two and stick to plain vegetarian diet. After all, our Emperor is good at using his acting skills to impress others. Hope Modi will be impressed by our Emperor's nataks and gift us more ambulances and buses as usual.

And when it comes to so-called mega projects like our highways and hydropower projects, the Desis pledge billions and promise to finish the works in a few years but then they forget about it. Our Prime Monster should ask the Desis if they are really interested to help us by helping to build our infrastructure and hydropower projects as soon as possible or they just want to act like they are helping us. 

We all know that India will commit to help us finish the pending projects and will pledge more money but there will be no timeline and we will never know when those projects will finally be completed. 

Then our Prime Monster will come back to Nepal and term his visit to India as being the most successful ever and thank the Desis for their hospitality, free samosas and what not. 

Our Prime Monster will be back home tomorrow and then leave for New York on Monday to participate in the UN General Assembly. He will be in the land of the free for a week. 

Maybe, he should also meet Hillary and Trump on the side. Hillary has been to Nepal before when she was the First Lady. Now, our Prime Monster should flatter Hillary by telling her the Nepal wants to see a woman Amriki President and if she makes history then she should first visit Nepal. 

What about Trump? Well, what's there to talk about Trump? He is an idiot and you never know, he might surprise us all because the American public has voted for jerks and fools before.  And we are no different. We keep on electing the same chors over and over again and they continue to loot us again and again. 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

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