It’s been a month since our Emperor got to live in Baluwatar and he has come up with a bora full of promises that we all know that he can't and will never keep. Why do our politicians keep on promising us the moon when they can't even lower the price of lasoon?
Our Prime Monster tells us that he will bring other chors on board and expedite the constitution implementation process. We all know that our chors will only get on the ship if they are offered boras full of cash, state perks and ministerial portfolios. If not, they will just agree to disagree on everything and make our lives more miserable and difficult.
Our Emperor tells us that he has increased the grant assistance to our earthquake victims by a lakh Rupees. Now, our brothers and sisters who have been displaced by the Big One will get 3 lakhs as grant and five lakhs in loans.
It's funny that mundreys get to be martyrs and their families get a million Rupees but the real needy ones get less than that and that too in installments.
Our incompetent and corrupt government thinks that it will get all the assistance pledged by our bidhesi donors. But the bideshis are a smart lot and they can't be played by our netas like our netas play us all for suckers and get away with it.
It’s been more than a year and half since the earthquake and most of the victims have not even received the 50,000 as the first installment yet. So to expect our government to provide the grants and loans within this year is like expecting the North Koreans to test their nukes all the way to Mars by Christmas. It's not going to happen!
Instead of reforming the transportation sector, our Emperor thinks he can control the syndicate system in this country by running government buses in major cities in the country. Whoever gave him this idea must have plans to make quick bucks by providing the buses to our government. And as with all other government contracts, there will be commissions to be made and we all know who will make a Rupee or two.
If our government really wants to end the syndicate system in our country then scrap this route permit natak and shut down all the so-called yatatyat samitis in the country.
Let everyone who wants to, offer transportation services without obstruction from mundeys and byaparis who continue to run old rusty buses and charge us exorbitant prices to use their services while burning down buses of new operators willing to provide us better service.
In the old days, we had the Sajha buses plying across the country. Maybe, we should provide 1,000 buses to Sajha and allow them to provide services all across the country. But then our Lord Lokman will come up with something and take over the tender process and make some money along the way.
If we were to believe our Prime Monster, we will all get printed bills from our taxi wallahs instead of having to agree on a price without the use of meter before taking the ride.
This is a country where an increase in traffic violation, or crackdown on tampered meters awaken our taxi and bus wallahs to take to the streets and show us their strength by disrupting the traffic in the capital. And we all know that our taxi wallahs will follow the law for a month or two and then it will back to the 'name your price' and 'let me think about it' nataks.
Our government plans to establish universities and medical colleges in each of our seven provinces. I think it would be better to start such projects later after we get the federal model right and our political parties all agree on the province stuff. Allow the local government then to study and work on such projects instead.
The role of the central government should be look after law and order, foreign policy and projects of national interest. Other than that, it would be better if we allow the provincial government to do what's right for their provinces.
A month ago, our Prime Monster directed our civil servants to figure out how many of our brothers and sisters are in foreign jails. Well, our civil servants and lazy bums would rather extort our migrant workers instead of working to help them.
Our politicians keeps on instructing while our civil servants keep on procrastinating. That's how this system works and why the public never get the services entitled to them from the government without obstruction and without having to pay chiya kharcha to our civil servants.
Our government has promised an effective system to help the migrant workers stranded overseas. Those serving jail terms overseas will get 5 lakhs as seed money to pay the so-called blood money while the government also seeks help from NRNs and us Nepalis here as well to help our migrant workers.
Whatever happened to our migrant workers' welfare fund (MWWF)? It seems that migrant workers suffer while those in power will have fun with the funds worth 3 billion Rupees.
As usual, the government forms a panel to investigate misuse of the MWWF funds. The panel will receive chiya kharcha to meet up and waste the taxpayers money and they will come up with a report that will never be made public because if it were then our politicians and civil servants will have to go to jail.
But Lokman will get hold of the report and go after the small fishes while making some dough from the thulo mancheys as well.
And as usual our Prime Monster has come up with the same never-ending joke in his speech to the nation. Like always, this government will work to end load shedding by building three hydropower projects through investment from the public to generate 1,200 MW of electricity.
Yes, let us all stand up and applaud for it seems that load shedding will end soon and we can finally not have to update our load shedding schedule. But of course, our government promises us everything, our politicians and civil servants make all the moolah while the public gets nothing. No wonder, we are now the Federal Democratic 'Rip-Off-the-Public' of Nepal!
Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at email@example.com