Saturday, June 25, 2016

All Fake Things Must Come to an End!

Everything seems to be fake in his land of ours. We have fake pilots, fake doctors and fake engineers. I guess these folks just wanted to follow their dreams so badly that they had to resort to such nataks. 

It looks like we might have to ask for original certificates attested by the government whenever we visit a doctor, fly on a plane or if we have to build a house or a bridge for the community.  There are thousands of doctors in this land. There might a few hundred who have fake SLC or ISc certificates. But the fake ones give the real ones a bad name. 

But we should tell them that they should not lose hope. So what if you can no longer fly a plane and have to stay on the ground instead of the air?  You can still work at the counter and sell tickets and at least give a better orientation to the passenger on the flight time and what you can see up there. 

Yes, you can no longer practice medicine or your specialty but you can still be a health worker and assist the doctor in some ways possible. At least that would help folks in the rural areas where witch doctors continue to rule and get to eat the chicken and local moonshine. 

Yes, go to our hills and mountains and work at our health posts and you can always refer the patients to the doctors if they suffer from major problems. But for simple headaches and stomach problems, a health worker can do much than the quacks in the villages.

Well, you might not be allowed to build a house or a bridge or even pave the road but you can still walk around carrying the big ruler or a measuring tape for another engineer. You can still be close to your dream or you can go back to school and do it all over again and show us that you really want to do it the right way. 

I think our fake fakirs should just join a political party and be a neta. After all, you really don’t need any certificate at all to be a neta. You don’t even have to pass high school. There are probably a million netas in this land and all of them are fake. Yes, we have yet to find one genuine leader in this land. And we have seen it all. 

Even having a PhD won’t make you a leader. And just because you are eight-class pass doesn’t make you a neta either.  All these politicians only know one thing. They know how to talk gibberish and they can go on for hours while for the most of us, our conversation will end in less than a minute or two. 

But for our netas, they can talk and talk but will never walk the walk. They are not doers . They do not get things done. They would rather break things up for their own personal gain. They would sell this country to the highest bidder. They do not care about the people at all. 

They are in it for make as much illegal money as possible and leave the country in tatters. So, our netas are evildoers and maybe we might have to find a witchdoctor who can get rid of all the evil in this land with just a help of a cock and a bottle of local raksi.

And the funny thing in this country is that when the government takes action against such fake fairs, we get bandas instead. Yes, some of our hospitals are shut down because these folks are not happy that the government wants to punish fake doctors. Our cooking gas bottlers give us faulty cylinders The cylinders explode and folks die. 

The government wants to punish the gas wallahs but instead the gas wallahs threaten to shut down their business. It’s the same with the bus wallahs. Our transport mafia ply old rusty buses on the road and get away with it. They fix their prices and the government can’t do a thing about it. We, the common folks are the ones who get the short shift.

It seems that our byaparis can get away with fake VAT bills and evade taxes. It seems that our private school wallahs can continue to fleece parents in the name of education. It seems that folks can sell adulterated stuff be it fuel or food and nobody can do a thing about it. Who run this country anyway ?  

Is it our stupid corrupt clowns or lazy civil servants or shady contractors or stone-hurling cadres? No, this country is run by fake fakirs who continue to break the law and can get away with it because they pay off our netas and sarkari hakim sahebs. And these corrupt buffoons don’t want to kill the golden goose because if they do then they will be without dough and without the dough, they will be without power and without the power, they will be just another Nepali. 

And our netas are not just another ordinary Nepali like you and me. They are special. The country owes them everything while they owe nothing to this land and its people. That’s how it is and we need a million Dr KC if we want to get rid of evil in this land. Until then , we will continue to be ruled by clowns and we have no option but to enjoy their circus acts even if it means losing your wallet, life savings , your house and in the end, your own country!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

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