Saturday, June 11, 2016

The Lost Decade

It's been almost a decade since our seven party alliance (SPA) and our Maoists (M) signed the comprehensive peace agreement and so far our SPAM wallahs have only divided the piece of the loot among themselves while we have yet to experience any peace and freedom in this land. 

This is what happens when our netas don't use the Oxford English Dictionary to find out the real meaning to the words that come out of their mouth but leave all the homework for shady deals to their personal aides (PAs). 

If you really have a get quick rich scheme that will drain the state treasury and will not benefit the public then get hold of the PAs instead of the mantris. 

A mantri is just another ignorant son or daughter of a seedless cucumber. They have no idea how their ministries work. They have no vision to make this country great. Their only aim is to make as much dough as possible while in power. 

If a mantri makes 10 croroes in kickbacks, he or she will share half with the party and keep the half for near and dear ones. That's how our politicians work and so far, nothing has changed in the last decade. 

Well, when it comes to corruption, the things are still the same since the 90s. Then, only the Kangaroos enjoyed the loot. Now, it's just everyone's turn to make some money as they play musical chairs when it comes to forming a new government every other year.

It seems that our corrupt clowns have been pissing on us and getting away with it while we can do nothing but make a hissing sound and then go back to our daily routine of making sure we have enough supply of cooking gas and fuel and make sure that the water tanker wallahs show up on time to bring us drinking water. Even the tanker wallahs have jacked up their prices citing shortage of water from wherever they get it from. 

Our government claims that we will be egg sufficient in a year or two. Maybe that's why our egg wallahs have jacked up the egg prices by more than 20% since last month. They have to make the money now for if we are egg sufficient then prices will definitely go down then. 

Even ice-cream prices are up by 20% since last week. It seems that our experts buy their daily essentials directly from the wholesaler since their figure is always half of what the reality is. 

We have a Constituent Assembly for the second time and we also have the world's greatest constitution. We are wasting billions of Rupees each year to feed our greedy loafers and once we are done with our provinces some day, we will need billions more to feed the lazy bums who become our state lawmakers. 

We had a six-month long blockade and it didn't really have any effect on the lives of our netas. We were the ones who suffered and it seems that we will continue to suffer happily for another decade or so. 

As usual, our lawmakers get to enjoy the perks and now they can play with more money to not develop their constituency but to develop their own bellies and that of their cadres. And we have to thank Biplab dai and his cadres for showing us all that we will continue to have bandas in this land and somebody will lose his Micro bus, taxi or motorcycle thanks to our cadres who like to burn things up. 

And the good thing for our protesters is that they can vandalize both public and private property and get away with it during bandas. Our police wallahs are on the streets as mute spectators and provide security to the protesters instead of the public.

So are things better than it used to be ten years ago? Nope. Things will still be the same for a kid born in 2006. In another decade, he or she will be in college and will then want to go overseas either for further studies and then settle there or work in the Middle East to make a few Dinars more. 

When our SPAM signed the peace agreement they pledged to resolve the problems related with class, ethnicity, and regional and gender differences. Well, it's easy to pledge but difficult to deliver. We should have been another Singapore or Switzerland by now but so far our netas have failed to deliver on anything. 

Our top comedian Krazy Pompous Oli has pledged everything that comes to his ingenious mind. While the half the country thinks the man has gone mad, the other half thinks that at least he has promised us stuff that will one day become reality even if it takes us a century. 

And then our descendants can all remember Oli then and pay homage to the man who at least had the guts to dream even if he never fulfilled his vision. Aren’t our netas just lucky to have such passive populace to rule over?  

Our netas talk about bringing peace and prosperity in this land. They tell us that the country will experience progressive social and economic transformation. But the only transformation has been of our netas, civil servants and contractors while the common folks have neither good health nor enough wealth because this country is run by sick people who get free medical treatment abroad at the expense of the taxpayers and they are the ones who continue to live a good life with their ill-gotten wealth. 

We have seen the mandaleys, the morons, the Maoists and also our Madhesi netas. What can ‘New Power’ deliver where others have failed? 

What this country needs is not another communist or socialist party. We all want to make another extra Rupee. Maybe somebody should open a capitalist party and we can become like India and China someday rather than continue to be ruled by a bunch of extortionist scumbags?

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at You may contact him at

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