Saturday, April 18, 2015

Climb Every Mountain

First of all, let us all congratulate our dear comrade KP Oli for setting an example to the rest of us. Oli has had a liver transplant and suffers from other complications as well. I think our incompetent government should make him our 'fitness Ambassador' and urge all valley residents to walk the 213 steps to the top of Dharahara at least once a month. 

We could even host an international competition. Ask all countries to send their best stair climbers to compete in the annual 'Dharahara Run-Up'. Yes, we might not be able to compete with the 'Empire State Building Run-Up'  (ESBRU) but we have to start somewhere. 

The ESBRU is the world's oldest tower race.  It has 1576 steps while we have only 213 but numbers don’t matter when it comes to having some fun. The Nepal Tourism Board could promote the event all over the world and we can even ask all the countries to send at least one participant to encourage us to live in peace and prosperity.

Our Emperor thinks that Dharahara is more important for Oli than working on the disputed issues in the constitution writing process. I think Oli should even attempt to climb Everest and challenge our Emperor to do the same. 

Our polygamist Crown Prince climbed Everest a few years ago and gained a new wife. Let's hope our Emperor will also climb Everest and gain inner peace to end all strife.

We all know that Oli wants to be our Prime Monster real bad. Sushil Da should quit, leave for Banaras and be a hermit. Yes, make Oli our PM and he can do a weekly show on TV, entertaining us with his wit. It is better to have a comedian in Baluwatar than have a confused clown.

Our Emperor tells us that he is willing to take any risk to save this country from going down the drain. Well, the magician is running out of magic tricks. We are still waiting for billion dollar investment by a fake NGO to make Lumbini another Disneyland. 

We are still waiting for an economic revolution Mao-style to bring us good health and great wealth. So far, only our Emperor and his cronies have enjoying both while we, the common citizens can't even afford a bowl of broth.

Our Emperor talks about uniting us all but can't even keep his alliance intact. Our Janjati and Madhesi parties now want to form a separate alliance because they want to shut down the country for more than a day. 

The other breakaway Maoist factions do want to start another armed struggle and even think invading India is a great idea. Baidya Ba must still be stuck with reading David and Goliath. Catapults don't work anymore except for chasing monkeys and stray dogs from our one and only international airport.

I think it is better if our Emperor just quit politics and looked after his business interests and enjoy the good life he is now accustomed to rather than blabbering like a mad man.

It's nice that our government gave our civil servants a day off to remember our late former Prime Minister Surya Bahadur Thapa. Our government should have done the same for late Marich Man Singh Shrestha.  And let us also remember Junga Bahadur and Bhimsen Thapa as well. Why not honor all our former Prime Monsters from the beginning of the Shah dynasty till today?

After all, we have yet to have a Prime Monster whom we can really call our own and remember him for leaving behind a prosperous and stable nation. Yes, Surya Bahadur Thapa was the man. 

We will no longer have another man who will become a PM five times, serve under three different Kings and under three different political systems. Well, I don't think we will go back to the old political systems again because we are a Republic and our clowns will continue to rip off the public till there is no one to extort from.

Deuba could become our PM one day and earn his fourth stripe and probably gift our lawmakers a Range Rover each. Our Emperor and Dr. Saheb could be our PM again for the second time if they manage to unite all their factions and form a coalition government in the future. 

Let us hope that our Emperor will not quit in less than a year again and be a cry baby. Our Dr. Saheb should focus only on infrastructure and give us better highways, railways and also teach our drivers that pedestrians have the right-of-way.

We have seen Jhallu Baba and MaKuNe Sir and they might try their luck for the second time too. But give Oli a chance. He may not deliver but at least his cronies and mundreys will have a field day while in power. 

After all, that has been the story of all our great leaders. Their cousins and cadres make millions while millions of us citizens are left with no choice but to go abroad to make a few Dinars and Ringgits.

Let us all wish our mothers today and hope one day that we will have a woman Prime Minister to lead us to glory and greatness instead of the same old grumpy men who only know greed and destruction.


  1. Hope you and your loved ones are safe. I can't imagine what must be happening in Nepal right now.

  2. Dear Kay, Yes we are all safe here except for my cousin who passed away in Kapan as his building collapsed. We are all slowly getting back to our normal routine. We are all doing our best to help the affected families in the outskirts of the valley , especially in Southern Lalitpur where our incompetent government has not reached out yet.