Make or Break

Our clowns are sitting for formal talks today to find a way out to break the political deadlock.  We all know that our incompetent buffoons will only waste our taxpayers money on refreshment, fuel and over-time bhatta for our security personnel during such meetings. 

I think it would be better if our clowns ate dal, bhat at home and then go for the meeting. Bring your own thermos of milk tea and a bottle of mineral water. Yes, at least save a few rupees of our taxpayers money. 

Our clowns all love gas-guzzling luxury vehicles and they are not satisfied with their free rides. They also want free fuel and maintenance kharcha. I think it would be better if they at least used public transportation once a week. Yes, mingle with the people and see for yourselves how they are harassed by perverts and foul-mouthed conductors. And save us a few liters of petrol as well.

Why can't they take up cycling? It would be nice if our lazy bums cycled all the way to Dhulikhel and held their meeting at a local chiya pasal over jeri-swari and black tea. Don’t' waste our money on resorts and five star hotels.

It's sad to see a bunch of security personnel working round the clock, protecting our clowns from other clowns and probably their own disgruntled cadres. Why do our netas need such tight security surrounded by Rambos? 

Let the security personnel have a day off instead of working like slaves for our incompetent netas.  Yes, Saturday is a day to relax and let loose. Our clowns do not need to show us they are working hard by meeting up on Saturdays because we all know that they are the laziest Nepalis in this country. 

I think it would be better if our clowns all met at the national stadium. Yes, let's put some tables and chairs in the middle of the football ground and hear what they have to say. We can even pay to attend the meeting as audience. The funds raised from the entry fee will help to cover the chiya kharcha for our clowns. 

I think we should have a live telecast of such meetings so that we can find out what actually goes on during such talks.  Our clowns will be careful if they are on live TV. 

Instead of cracking jokes about each others' bulging bellies and rosy cheeks, they will have to be serious and talk about the disputed issues in the constitution writing process. We all know that our clowns all have full stomach and nothing better to do. They are not problem solvers but troublemakers.

Our clowns do not have to worry about anything. It's us, the common folks who have to worry about shortage of water, cooking gas and electricity. Our netas have their personal aides call up the concerned agencies to provide them with freebies. While we worry about fulfilling our basic needs, our clowns worry about filling their bellies with ill-gotten proceeds.

Our freeloaders tell us that they have already agreed on the forms of government, judiciary and electoral system but have not been able to agree on the federal model to be adopted. 

The first Constipated Assembly (CA) was dissolved because no one could agree on the federal model and it's the same story this time around. Does it really matter if we have 7 or 10 provinces? 

Our clowns are not really interested to empower the people. Why can't we have local elections now?  Yes, let us elect our local leaders and hold them accountable instead of the all-party mechanism gobbling all the funds. Our lives will not get any better even if we have a constitution by next week.  

What good is a constitution if it can't protect the basic rights of the common citizens? Our lawmakers will continue to break the law and engage in corruption. 

They will not be prosecuted because the anti-corruption agency will always be under the government. I think the CIAA should be only answerable to the President instead of our political parties appointing their cadres as commissioners. 

Lok Man Dai has yet to catch a big fish. Maybe he needs a better fishing net. We all know that the personal aides of our top leaders are the real dealmakers. If our CIAA wallahs can round up all of them and search for their black books then most of our top leaders would be exposed. But of course, who has the courage to take on the thieves when every other crook is corrupt?

Our incompetent government can't even clear the runway at the airport by itself. It can't even take care of the garbage in the valley. Just clearing plastic bags and other waste from the Bagmati River is not going to make it clean. We are foolish to expect the ruling clowns to show some flexibility and get the opposition wallahs on board. 

Let us not blame our stupid greedy netas who are only after power and money. It is us, the common citizens who are to be blamed for being so passive.  We all know that our good for nothing freeloaders will not come up with a constitution. 

Let us all stand together and demand local elections as soon as possible. We need our local ward chairperson, mayors and what not.  We are tired of a bunch of thieves representing our political parties at the local level stealing all the funds. 

Our government must be held accountable. If our so-called government cannot even provide us basic needs then they have no right to govern us.

Our clowns tell us that it's either make it or break it time for them. If they can come together and forge consensus then we will have the constitution soon. Well, that is wishful thinking. We are more likely to send a monkey to Mars then get a constitution from these morons. Let us all feel sorry for the monkey.