Saturday, October 18, 2014

Clowns under quarantine

Our UN peacekeepers from Nepal Army and Armed Police Force who have returned from Liberia have been put under quarantine just to make sure that they are Ebola-free.  They will be regularly monitored for the next 21 days to make sure that they are okay. 

Our security personnel seem to be doing a great job during the UN peacekeeping missions around the world.  Let’s hope that all of our peacekeepers will get to go home without any health issues and be with their families after the quarantine ends. 

Every year, hundreds of thousands of our young folks go overseas as unskilled labor. They are exploited and are provided with inhuman living conditions. I think our incompetent government should work out a deal with the UN-wallahs and train our young folks to serve as peacekeepers in conflict zones around the world.  

It would be better if our young folks are engaged in preventing conflicts around the world than being treated like slaves in the Gulf region.  

I think it's about time, we placed our visionary leaders under quarantine for the next 21 days as well.  Maybe, our buffoons will be so sick of squabbling with each other over the next three weeks that they might have no choice but to agree on the disputed issues of the constitution writing process.

Our freeloaders have already spent millions in the past eight years, hanging out at resorts around the valley.  If they really want to get away from the pollution and chaos in the capital then our top buffoons should be placed under quarantine in Khaptad National Park. 

Yes, let's pitch tents four our clowns and they can enjoy a simple meal of dal, bhat instead of sleeping in comfy beds and enjoying dinner and expensive bideshi drinks at the taxpayers expense.

There must be some magic potion we can give to our buffoons to overcome procrastination. If we can't find any magicians then maybe we should just eat the carrot and carry a big stick. Our Kangaroos and the United Mundrey leaders are more than happy to go for a voting process if none of the clowns can agree to resolve the issues. 

Our political parties should have finished preparing the first draft of the constitution by now but so far, they have nothing to show for except the usual bickering over how many provinces we need and if we want a Prime Monster or a President to carry the stick.

Our top clowns have promised us all that they will deliver a new constitution by January 22nd, 2015. But our Emperor and his comrades have made it clear that they will not support the voting process to resolve the disputed issues. 

Maybe, we should just ask the All Nepal Football Association (ANFA)to organize a football tournament between our political parties. We can call it the 'Nepal Cup'. We can have a league round first and then the knock-out stages to decide who gets to have their say in our new constitution.

ANFA President and our CA member, Ganesh Thapa and his three musketeers, Vice President Lalit Krishna Shrestha, General Secretary Dhirendra Pradhan and Treasurer Birat Jung Shahi have been charged with engaging in financial irregularities worth Rs 581.7 million. They have been asked to take a leave for two months until the investigation is over but our four amigos are here to stay. 

After all, they have been running the show for over two decades not by doing the right thing but by doling out funds to their cronies and even political parties. After all, if you share the loot, you get to keep your boot and if you don't then you get the boot. It not only applies to our sports associations in the country but to our political parties and government agencies as well.

If you are a party member who can bring in the funds for your political party then you get the ticket to stand up election. And if you win then you will get to become a minister. But in this country, you don't have to win elections to become a minister. You can be a mundrey and still become a minister. Then, you can raise more funds for the party. 

It's the same story with our bureaucracy. Our civil servants have to pay our ministers to get lucrative postings and promotions. No wonder, we have more than a dozen AIGs in Nepal Police. 

By 2020,  don't be surprised if you see a high-ranking police official in charge of a local police beat in Rolpa. Our hakim sahebs can stay home and play cards while the low-level employees collect the chiya kharcha from the general public and it goes up the ladder. 

Everything goes up in this country, be it the food prices, transportation fares and even the chiya kharcha as well. The only thing that goes down in this land of ours is our morale. What can we do to motivate ourselves and our freeloaders?  

We all know that we will not be rejoicing come January 23rd, 2015 because we won't get the new constitution then. We will probably either go for round three of  Constipated Assembly (CA) or we can just go on with our lives without the help of a government or our corrupt political parties. After all, that's what we have been doing for the past two centuries.

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