Saturday, October 11, 2014

Goodwill Ambassadors

Our blue-plated wallahs seem to invite foreign celebrities to Nepal to promote their campaign. Leonardo DiCaprio was here a few years ago to save our tigers. He even donated US$ 3 million so that the WWF could do its part in helping our tigers. 

We are still trying to figure out why Selena Gomez was here and a few days ago we had Bollywood superstar Aamir Khan in our land to make us aware about the importance of child nutrition.

Khan is the newly appointed UNICEF Ambassador for nutrition in South Asia but he seems to have come in a hurry because he had forgotten to shave. Or maybe, that's the new look for his new movie. 

Khan also has his TV show where he deals with social issues in India. And someday, who knows, Khan might first become the chief minister of Matheharastra and then the Prime Minister of India. 

After all, at one point he will get tired of reel life and would want to show some of his skills in the real world.  But of course, politics is much harder than movies. You might have to lie, cheat, steal or dole out the dough to win elections. Khan has the dough but he can’t lie. 

Khan was in town for a few days and like other foreign celebrities, he also met with our Prime Minister.  It was disappointing for most of his fans because they could not get autographs from Khan. 

It would have been great for Aamir fans if our PM Sushil Da had posted a Selfie with the superstar on Instagram. After all, our incompetent netas have time for some chiya-paan with foreign celebrities but do not have time for the common folks.

Sushil Da congratulated Khan for being the new 'nutrition' Ambassador and Khan must probably have congratulated our PM for only having three mobile phones and nothing more. 

Sushil Da also invited Khan to visit our country again and visit Pokhara. Maybe, Khan should make a new movie where he plays a paraglider who meets his dream woman in Pokhara.

We should thank DiCaprio and Khan for taking time off from their busy schedule to visit our land and create awareness about tigers and nutrition. But  it isn't time our government save our tigers and children by providing funds to these programs instead of only helping their cadres, cousins and contractors?

Our Kollywood supertstar Rajesh Dai should quit hosting TV Quiz shows and instead have a reality show of his own where he discusses critical social issues in our land.  And political parties should focus on writing the constitution first instead of fighting with each over how many provinces we need.

And now, we have a 22-party alliance led by our Emperor who have announced protest programs against the ruling parties; stand to resolve disputes of constitution making through votes. 

Maybe, what our opposition wallahs need is bundle of notes from the ruling parties. After all, cash is King and our mini-maharajas who are not in power would be happy to have some hard cold cash.

Our 22-party alliance will now get the much needed exercise as they participate in rallies and what not.  I guess the 'protest' season has started early this time. After all, we all need to lose some extra calories added up during Dashain. 

Our political parties need to first look up the word 'consensus' in the dictionary and then find common ground to resolve the disputes issues. The only time our political parties come to an agreement is when all of them get to enjoy the loot from the state treasury. 

Maybe, we need a 'goodwill ambassador' to 'save Nepal' from going down the drain. Sushil Da is busy trying to fix his mobile phones while KP Oli is busy promoting mundrey gundas. 

Our Emperor and the other Madhesi leaders want to take to the streets because they are pissed off with the ruling parties for not sharing the loot. And the fringe parties just want to have some fun because they really don't make any difference in national politics but do get some chiya kharcha whenever they join an alliance.

Aamir Khan in his recent TV show focused on the importance of sports. And our results at the recently concluded Asian Games was depressing with only one bronze medal to show for after wasting millions of Rupees. 

I think we should just send our athletes to these games instead of officials and save us some money. It's sad to hear about athletes disappearing from the venue but we can't blame them for hiding in foreign lands to make a living. 

After all, it's the heads of our sports organizations who get to embezzle millions of Rupees whereas our athletes don't even get enough dough to buy a decent pair of track suits.

Khan is back home. Our children will continue to face problems of malnutrition. Our athletes will continue to be exploited. Our country will continue to be stuck in a coma because of our con artists. 

Maybe somebody should just come out with a constitution and we go for a referendum. We can never be another Switzerland but we can at least do referendums like the Swiss.

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