Saturday, March 17, 2012

Score the Goal.....

Our football team failed to deliver again and we now have to choose another team to support in the finals of the AFC Challenge Cup. We did try to support Palestine with their statehood but they showed us no mercy on the football field. We could try supporting Turkmenistan or Tajikistan but most of us didn’t know they existed until they arrived in Kathmandu to play some ball.

Philippines is San Miguel and the boxer cum congressman, Manny Dai. If we were to do a poll, most would support the ‘Azkals’ because of Manny Dai hola. If they need some support from Nepali fans, they should invite all our pilots who have had their training in Philippines. We seem to have a quite a lot of them now.

Our safe bet would be on the North Koreans because they have not lost so far and their goalkeeper is having a hard time trying not to fall asleep at his post. I think he should ask his players to shoot the ball towards their own post once in a while just to spice things up.

The only thing we know about the North Koreans is that they have a new kid in town and they like to sell US dollars and Marlboros like the Chinese sell ‘genuine’ Louis Vuitton bags around the world.

We have had many foreigners and especially the EU wallahs telling us what to do. I think it’s about time we invite the ‘young Kim’ to Kathmandu and we can also ask Obama to drop by so that we can try our hand at resolving global conflicts. And who knows, we might get US dollars from the North Koreans instead and we can use that to buy some Wrigley gums from the Amrikis.

Dr Saheb blames his own party members for sabotaging his plans. He knows, and we all know, that he will fail to deliver like the rest of the comrades who have had the opportunity to try organic farming in the Baluwatar garden. It really doesn’t help when your own teammates are busy tackling you and trying to stop you from scoring.

Our national team has a pretty good defence and our midfielders seem to do a pretty good job, but when it comes to our strikers, they seem to forget that their job is to attack and try to shoot the ball towards the goal post instead of passing it backwards.

Our footballers have improved quite a bit since the arrival of the British coach. Well, we can’t seem to score any goals but our players have learned to work as a team and play an attacking game. But if we don’t score then we lose.

Our netas should realise that they can brag about their achievements so far but if they don’t get it right by the end of May then they will be just one of them freeloaders. I guess somebody needs to tell them that they need to work as a team instead of trying to tackle each other and not score any goals at all.

I think our football players seem to be inspired by our ‘visionary’ netas. Our political parties have highly skilled strikers but whenever they get an opportunity to score, they either shoot it wide or blame the opponent for a foul.

Our CA chairman had asked our current emperor to be a ‘Messi’. Messi is one of the best players in the world today, but if he wants to be the greatest, then he has to lift the World Cup trophy. If our Emperor wants to have a park or a college named after him then he would have to give us a ‘constitution’ this May.

Our Emperor likes to dazzle us with his skills. He can come up with more conspiracy theories than the average chiya pasal visitor. He can go on a rant for hours and still come up with funny one-liners that would probably get him hired by some Desi channel.

But instead of passing the ball around and leading the national team (not his club!) to victory, he just wants the ball to himself and probably dreams of scoring a goal like Maradona did with his ‘Hand of God’ in Mexico many years ago.

Football is about team work and so is our Constitution Assembly. Well, our politicians seem to think they are some kind of Roman gladiators. But instead of facing the lion or some other crazy opponent, they would rather let the audience fight each other while they sip tea and crack jokes.


  1. I wish you would write more!

  2. Hah, true that!

    And yes, you ought to write more and like a whore, I say!

  3. expected u to write on prachandru's son

  4. score the goal.... fantastic
    i really want the Nepalese team hire Messi or cr7 or some other star to learn how to shoot, after taking the ball to the opposition's post.

    I think someday our players will make history, by loosing around 40 - 0, even after having 60 % ball possition,

    hope our players can do vice versa (just joking, i don't think that before 2040!!!!)