Saturday, March 10, 2012

Don't leave home without it

Our ‘visionary’ netas need to take a class or two at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs before they hop on a plane and enjoy their foreign junkets or else they might get stranded at some foreign airport. The Tourism Minister should have taken a sack full of ‘Visit Nepal’ brochures and posters along with him. He could have done us all a favour if he had used his ‘free time’ to distribute them to foreigners at the Abu Dhabi International Airport.

Let us all feel sorry for his personal assistant (PA). PAs run the show here in Nepal. If you are one of them ‘great’ businesswallahs and need to get your file moving then you better make him or her happy or else you might never get to meet the minister for some chiya-paan. And then you can’t make a deal until you get to share a cup of tea and ‘greasy’ snacks with the thulo manchey ni.

The Minister blames his PA. The PA blames the Ministry of Foreign Affairs wallah. And our sarkari hakims are probably falling off their chairs and having a ball hola. The mantri should not be rough with his PA. If he really wants to punish his personal slave then just deport him to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and they can teach him a thing or two about visa notes.

As the bideshis used to say back in the days, “Don’t leave home without it”…better check your passport to make sure you got that visa thing stamped in it kya and for the traveller’s cheques..well our mantris get ‘free’ money from the dhukuti anyway.

An ordinary citizen with a green passport will probably get harassed by our immigration folks at TIA even if one has a genuine visa. If you carry one to Europe or Amrika then they will first try to get some dough out of you, if that fails and they can’t do much then they will bless you like your elders and wish you success as if you will be making a million dollars in your first year in North Amrika.

The Ranas left the building many years ago but they do seem to inspire our netas to act like them when they finally get to the former Rana palaces and play ‘Maharaja’ at their respective ministries. I think they tend to forget that the world has changed quite a bit in the last 60 years. The Shree Teens had their huge entourage when they travelled to Europe. Our mantris may not get the same privilege but they still seem to think that the foreign trips are nothing more than some quality time for his or her own family.

Talking about quality, our minister is not too happy with our media wallahs. He blamed them for making fun of him and is concerned about the quality and accuracy of journalism back home. Well, the bideshis are not that great either. There are no WMDs in Iraq and the late Bin Laden was busy watching ‘Indian Idol’ in Pakistan. At least our patrakars didn’t make up a story about who got on a wrong plane and ended up in Finland or something. Okay, the minister was not detained and maybe he was given the royal treatment at the immigration office but if he is a politician then he should be able to spin the truth ni.

Maybe our mantri was just trying to see if he could get away without a visa like he did at our own international airport. Maybe he was just checking kya. Or he can now give free visas to all UAE residents for treating him so kindly. He finally got his visa and we hope he enjoys a frankfurter while attending the tourism fair in Germany.

The AFC Challenge Cup has begun and we are off to a bad start. The Palestinians beat us 2-0 and maybe it’s about time we let our ‘great’ strikers go home and get some young blood instead. You can’t win a game without scoring goals. Dr Saheb could have helped us to win the match if only he had talked to the Palestinians about how he had supported their bid for statehood at the UN ni. The Palestinians would have gotten all emotional and would have let it slide for once hola.

The Chinese did us a favour by giving Rs 50 million for the maintenance work at Rangasala. They even gave us a 500 kb generator so that we could finally conduct games under the floodlights. They should also have also paid for 5,000 tickets for every game and given it out to passionate football fans who can’t afford the price hike by ANFA. Where are our Student Unions when we really need them?

1 comment:

  1. You know, with all the American presidential drama going on right now, I feel that the Nepalese politicians don't even compare to Santorum. And that's a sad statement to make.
    The last generation of Nepali politicians may have been jerks in a lot of ways, but hey, at least they were educated, qualified, and had a semblance of class.