How to win the FIFA World Cup?

Thank you Mr. AJT for sending an email asking me how we, Nepal can win the FIFA World Cup, most probably in 3021 when it is played in Mars and hosted by Elon Musk!

Well, first, we have to start training our players from an young age, say, like 10 year olds. ANFA, our footballing body, whose job is to take millions from FIFA and splurge it on their own officials and give players peanuts, should learn a thing or two from youth academies of the greatest football teams on Earth.

Let's have 400 young lads and ladies. Yes, we need to win both men and women's tournament. Our national women team has a far better chance to win the FIFA World Cup before this century ends than our men's team.  They just need a little bit more motivation, training and lots of incentives.

Well, get's back to our men's team. I think that was the question asked by AJT!

We start by training 400 lads from the age of 10. By the time, they are 18, 300 will drop out, we will have 100 left. By the time, they are 21, we will probably have a good team ready to take on the world. 

Instead of focusing on tall players, we need players who are average 5'6 to 5'8. Yes, it's the short players who are good strikers and midfielders. Look at Maradona, Messi and our great Kante! 

And we will have no problem with meeting the height requirement but god knows what will happen in a decade or two, since our young kids are all tall and lanky. Too much cheeseballs, cokes and choco pie durig their pre-teen days hola!

We need to have good training, focus on strength and let's get them develop some sprinters' bodies.... not likhurey hawa ley dhalney bodies! Look at the recent game against Iraq. These Iraqis looked all muscled up and we were there getting side-swapped by the air itself. It must be our regular chana-diet which hasn't changed in the last thirty years.

Let's get our footballers, protein shakes, two eggs, two bananas, lots of meat and veggies as well. We need to pay them at least Rs 100,000 per month and not peanuts. These young lads need to take care of their families as well!

And the best thing is to get Kante to be our national coach when he retires! Kante is simple human being. He doesn't kiss the trophy like those eggheads. He gives a slight touch like he is saying 'nice to meet you'. Kante is humble. Our players need to learn to be humble as well. Don't think you are Messi just because you are this year's top scorer at the domestic league!

We need to play aggressive football. Don't worry about getting six goals in your own net. Score 7! Let's play beautiful football. Combine, the Brazilian Samba, Tiki-Taka, Kante ko Bhaka and then we will be the most loved team on Earth. Jai Nepal!