I Love New York

Our Prime Minister Sushil Koirala (SuKo) is leaving for New York on September 19th to attend the United Nations General Assembly (UNGA).   I think SuKo now knows more about New York City then New Baneshwor.  

And he is leaving early because he has also needs to have his follow-up health checkup at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. Well, we wish him well but it would be nice if he focused more on the constitution-making process while at home instead of just being busy doing nothing. 

Maybe, SuKo should at least ask the Amrikis to open a cancer center in our land before he leaves Baluwatar.

Dashain has come early for our 22-member delegation that will be having fun in New York. And for the rest of us, we will be busy trying to minimize our shopping list for Dashain because our paychecks and bonuses will not be enough to buy a live goat, a tola of gold and bunch of gifts for our families.  

So, we must do with a few kilo of mutton, one fake gold ring for our Mrs and cheap t-shirts for our near and dear ones. 

And for our hakim sahebs and our netas, they get free goats from our Nepal Food Corporation and free gift hampers from our fake-VAT Bill byaparis. And most of our clowns seem to have many tolas of gold and that’s because most of their in-laws are wealthy landowners and they gave the gold as dowries.

SuKo will address a function organized by our Nepali Embassy in UAE on Sept 20th.  I think SuKo should be flying to New York after a few hours transit instead of wasting our taxpayers money by spending a day in Abu Dhabi.  

If he really is eager to listen to the problems faced by our migrant workers in the Gulf then he should visit all the gulf countries and tell their heads of states to pay our folks better wages and provide humane living conditions. 

Just spending a day drinking chiya and meeting our ambassadors and a few 'neta' workers is not enough.  It's just another meet and greet session for Suko and his cadres in the Gulf.

After all, we have 'neta' NRNs everywhere.  SuKo has even appointed his relatives who are Amriki green-card wallahs as his advisers. Mridula Koirala aka Maria Koirala is now one of SuKo's trusted adviser.  She used to own a diner in Manhattan until a few years ago. 

By next year, we will not have a new constitution but we will certainly have a new Prime Monster. All good things do come to an end.  So hurry up Maria and open Amriki Diners in the capital and be a diner queen. 

Who knows, maybe our valley residents will get used to the idea of eating pancakes early in the morning instead of only toast with jam or aloo-chana-anda diet which most of the early birds seem to religiously follow.

I think she should open her 'Shining Star Restaurant' in Kathmandu. Maybe, she can get free land, loans without collaterals or even funds from the state treasury. 

After all, she has the PM's ears and how about a 24-hr diner in the middle of the city?  She could become the patron saint for our restaurant wallahs if that happens!

SuKo is also expected to attend functions organized by our NRNs in New York. Yes, it’s the same natak in foreign lands where the party cadres who are either illegals, green-card wallahs or citizens there gather in a Nepali restaurant for a buffet dinner. 

The guest will be asked to share his 'two words' but he or she will go on a rant more insane than the one Gaddafi gave at the UNGA back when he was having fun. 

Mridula has hosted nearly every so-called thulo manchey from Nepal who have visited New York in the past two decades.  I think she could do us a favor and pull her strings if she has any, to get a replica of the Statue of Liberty in middle of Ratna Park, all funded by the great people of New York City. 

Then maybe, we won't be making so much fuss about green card wallahs or NRNs who want to come back just to make more dough by using their political connections in this land. But of course, she only knows our politicians and civil servants and not the Amrikis.

NYC gets over 40 million tourists every year. SuKO can also go on Amriki TV talk shows and invite all Amrikans to visit Nepal except Hollywood celebrities who come here for photo-ops. Yes, we don't need Selena Gomez or Demi Moore. We can learn a thing or two from Maggie Doyne instead. 

And for the UNGA, dear Prime Minister, just wear a 'Visit Nepal' t-shirt and maybe hold a placard that says' Read My T-Shirt', do a victory sign and leave the podium and that's it. 

The world will then always remember you, for the most effective promo of one's country.  After all, who cares about speeches? It's the UN! Most of the heads of states just want to relax and enjoy some pretzels.