Makune vs Oli

The general convention of the CPN-UML has begun and it's time for the comrades to choose one of the two freeloaders to head the party. Both Madhav Kumar Nepal (Makune) and KP Oli wants to be the party chairperson.

Oli has been our Deputy Prime Monster and has headed the Home and Foreign Ministry over the years. One day, he hopes to be our Prime Monster but until then, he wants to be the big boss so that he can finally get his photo plastered on the wall of chairpersons in the CPN-UML party office.

Makune has already been our Prime Monster and he has already had the chance to head the party. So, it's about time Makune stepped aside and let Oli be the big boss so that he can come up with new jokes and fire some more goli with his boli.

Nearly all of the major players in our political parties are the same bunch of clowns,  who have been having fun for the past two decades.  It's time for a change but instead of giving the young turks a chance to show us their dance moves, the old netas continue to hog the show and take the country down the drain.

CPN-UML cadres have also displayed their vandalizing skills because they were not allowed entry to the convention. After all , you cannot be a political cadre if you do not know how to tear down banners, burn tyres and destroy the welcome gate. And our Nepal Police did what they know best; that is laathi-charging and displaying their kicking skills.

I think it was not a good idea for the party to bar ordinary party cadres from attending the inaugural session of the general convention.  The cadres do all the work whereas the netas' cousins and contractors make all the moolah. 

The organizers did not allow the cadres to enter the convention venue due to lack of space inside the hall.Well, the CPN-UML should have booked a party palace for ordinary cadres and organized a musical event while they enjoyed the buffet lunch. 

Or, just let the cadres mingle outside the hall while they enjoy free watermelon and chana-chatpat.

It's funny that the party's leader is our Home Minister and he calls in the cops to disperse his own cadres.  Oli has enough mundrey gundas in his pocket and he could have asked their help to provide security at the venue. 

But our netas think it is always better to waste our taxpayers money and use our police wallahs as their own private security guards instead.

The CPN-UML has gone hi-tech by deploying a team of robotics engineers.  Yes, showering flowers by using a remote-control quadcopter is neat  but they should also focus on low-tech stuff like providing clean drinking water and well-maintained restrooms for the attendees.  At least have enough soap, water and a bora of Odonil in the restrooms.

The current party Chairperson Jhallu Baba has remained neutral and he is still hoping that both rival factions will fail to find common ground and choose him instead. 

After all, our netas are not known for finding consensus but instead rely on criminals, contractors and cousins to win elections. And it doesn't matter if it’s the national or party elections. They use the same tactics to win the votes with bundle of notes.

It's the same with every other political party in the country.  All parties have rival factions and their cadres fight with each other over who gets to run the show in their constituency. Be it the Maoists, Madhesis or the once-upon-a-time-monarchists,  all of them face dissent and are caught up in intra-party fighting. 

And even though we claim to be a Republic, our political parties are run like dictatorships. Maybe, our political cadres should start a revolution in their own parties first and demand free and fair elections in choosing their central committee members and other top positions.

The CPN-UML won’t be a different party even if Oli wins and Makune doesn't get the chance to head his party for another 15 years. Yes, Oli has more mundrey gundas under his wing than Makune. 

And he certainly has more dough to win the votes because the mundreys are all involved in thekka-patta, extortion and other get-rich-quick schemes. So, if Oli becomes the top honcho then he might bring loads of cash for the party as well. What will Makune bring?  

Our political parties do not care about the people or the country.  Our politicians only care about their near and dear ones and writing the constitution is not on their priority list. Consensus is a dirty word for our clowns and they only salivate like Pavlov's dogs if they can make money from corruption.

I think our young leaders in all the political parties should demand for setting an age-limit as well as term-limit in their respective parties. If you are over 60, then step aside and be a mentor to the young ones. And we can’t have one person heading any organization for more than a decade. 

If we have an age-limit and term-limit right now then all of our political stooges who are running the show in their parties would be staying home and watching the World Cup instead of exploiting their cadres for their personal gain.