Saturday, December 14, 2013

The PR War

Our Election Commission wallahs have requested the 30 political parties that have won seats under the proportional representation (PR) system to allocate at least 50% of the seats to women.  Why not 100%? Maybe then we will at least get done with writing the constitution within a year.

We can't expect much from the usual gang of thieves. Our netas are having a tough time on whom to award the seats under the PR system. You can't make everyone happy. Maybe, our political parties should organize a 'lucky draw night' and invite everyone on the PR list. Wine and dine them and hand out gift hampers Give them a number and invite an independent panel to pick out the winners. 

Make sure you tell them that the lucky ones will get to enjoy the state perks as CA members while the unlucky ones will get a suitcase full of cash.  After all, you don't want the ones left out to bear grudges and go against the party in the next election.

The Rastriya Prajantantra Party-Nepal (RPP-N) shocked us all by winning a lot more PR seats than we had expected.  But Kamal Thapa is having a hard time trying to figure out whom to choose for the PR seats. His party's cadres have even padlocked the party's office in Hetauda. 

The angry cadres also vandalized the office and decided to have a small bonfire with the party documents. Yes, they are mad because they want more candidates from Makawanpur district rather than only Thapa. 

 RPP-N had launched a pretty creative election campaign with their 'One Vote for Dai (brother) and another vote for Gai (Cow). Maybe Thapa can pacify his disgruntled cadres if he gives them each a Jersey cow. At least, the cadres can make some money by selling the milk in the market.  

And for the next election, RPP-N can even promise to deliver a packet of milk to each household if they win the majority of the seats. But of course that is very unlikely but instead of promising to make this land of ours another Singapore or Switzerland, the idea of free milk is more plausible.

Our Kangaroos and the United Mules have the same problem with whom to choose for the PR seats.  It's not only the PR list but our two old parties have a bunch of old men wanting to become Prime Monster and President.

Our netas are not interested to get done with the constitution writing process. They just want to be a mantri, enjoy the perks and make some moolah.  And the cadres also want a piece of the pie because that was the only reason why they went around town campaigning for the candidate.  Let us all feel sorry for our netas this time. 

If the lucky draw thing doesn't work out then they can follow the usual 'formula' of awarding the seats to the highest bidders. If your name's on the PR list but the chances of getting selected is rare then just offer a few Karods to the party and be a CA member.  Then you will have to figure out how to get your investment back in the next few years. After all, that’s how our system works. 

Maybe, we need a new political party like the one in India. The Aam Aadmi Party (AAP) has stunned Delhi by winning 28 seats in the local assembly elections. 

The Aam Aadmi Party plans to contest the Lok Shaba polls as well. Let us hope that Arvind Kejriwal and his friends will at least make a difference in India. It's about time our social activists formed a political party as well. 

Instead of just a few folks updating their Facebook statuses and pleading for votes, let's get 10,000 signatures and form a new political party to challenge the usual gang of thieves. If we can't get everyone on board then it's better to form an alliance. 

The 33-party alliance led by Baidya Ba and his angry birds boycotted the CA election. Now, the 18-party alliance led by our Emperor and his stooges plan to boycott the CA unless the government forms a high-level probe commission to investigate election fraud. Why not we all pitch in and send our netas on a probe mission to Mars and let them stay there for a decade?

I think it's time we had our own political party and formed alliance with other honest folks to clean up the mess. The young folks can have their own party. The professionals can form their own thing. Our 'Ama Samuha' should form 'All Amas Party' and contest the local elections and then fight the general elections in the future.

I hope we will have the local elections soon because we are tired of the government appointed secretaries in our wards doing nothing but doling out funds to a bunch of chors from the major political parties. Somebody please come up with a name for our grand alliance of mothers and workers to fight against the usual brokers and free-loaders? 

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