Retire at 60

Our hardworking civil servants will soon be retiring at 60. The current retirement age is 58. But those who oppose the government might not even get their pension. Yes, our Oli government is coming up with all kinds of laws to stifle dissent. If our comrades had their way then even their own party members who have been vocal against the government would land up in jail. 

If you are a civil servant then just continue to do your job and not go on YouTube or post comments in social media that might get our thin-skinned government off the bed. Just be quiet, go to the office and do nothing. Well, that’s what our civil servants have been doing for ages.

We would like to request our comrades that their ‘magic’ book is outdated and they need to revise Marx’s guffs for the 21st century.  If our government had its way then there would be gulags everywhere. Don’t be surprised if our government bans social media someday. 

Gokul dai thinks his decision to ban porn has helped to prevent violence and rape in this land. Prohibition in the United States didn’t stop people from drinking. Instead, the mafia made tons by selling bootleg liquor. People will find ways to get around it. 

Our government must learn that they are certain things they should ban while they should regulate others so that even the government can earn some money. This is the land where our state treasury is dry but the backyards of our politicians and civil servants are filled with boras of cash. You pay a fine of a few thousand Rupees to the State while you add a few lakhs for chiya kharcha to our sarkari hakims. That’s how this system works and no wonder this country is going broke.

Our government should ban cement factories in this land because it will not help us at all. What good is it that we are sufficient in cement and we have urban jungles everywhere while we cannot breathe clean air. Our government should ban all those who are destroying our hills and rivers in the name of construction. Our government should ban corruption, human trafficking and other stuff that makes our lives miserable. 

But instead, our manpower companies continue to exploit our own people. Our sisters are still sold in brothels in India. Why can’t our Oli government pass a law that strips all assets and even citizenship of those involved in human trafficking. You don’t have to hang a person to death just to make us all feed good for a while. 

There can be laws that makes their lives hell. And it’s about time we all saw the faces of those engaged in criminal activities. What’s up with all those arrested for heinous crimes wearing face masks. This is the only country in the world where criminals and tax evaders seem to have privacy rights while the rest of us do not have any rights at all.

Maybe it’s time our politicians did us all a favor by passing a bill that also sets a retirement age for our lawbreakers. Our civil servants have to hang their bags at 60 then why not do the same for our clowns as well?

It seems that our politicians want to hang on till they drop dead. It really doesn’t matter if our civil servants retire at 58 or 60 or 65 because most of them are lazy bums anyway. 

Our bureaucracy has not change a bit in the past three decades. We thought things would get better when our starving democrats came to power in the 90s. But instead, our Congressi government screwed it up and made it a place where their cadres got to enjoy all the perks and power that comes with the positions.  Today, we see political interference everywhere. 

Now, our civil servants will get two more years to do read more newspapers, drink tea and play cards on computer and use Facebook during office hours.

If our government hired an independent body to investigate ill-gotten wealth in this country, then our civil servants would top the list. We only blame our politicians for all the chaos in this country but we tend to forget that our civil servants are the ones who need to be held accountable. 

Our chimeki the dim sum wallahs tell us that we should be engaged in friendly negotiations with our samosa wallahs when it comes to Kalapani. I guess our politicians should now understand that our chimekis are in it together and we don’t really matter at all. Most of the folks in the international community will continue to pay lip service over Kalapani. 

Maybe, we can just play a friendly football match with the Desis or if our government can bring out a political map of Nepal and we can have everything we owned until the British came rolling. Then, our map would show us bordering Delhi. We can’t go to war with India over our disputed territories. Our opposition wallahs can shout all they want but when they are in power, they will also remain silent.  

Maybe, it’s time our hardworking civil servants really did their homework and our honest politicians finally have the political courage to sit down with the Desis and resolve the disputes with Susta and Kalapani. If not, then bring out a law that bans all protests against foreign governments and that would do the trick for now.

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com