Constitution Day

We have the best constitution on Earth and we have no one but our great leaders to thank for it.  If it weren’t for our great netas, then the Ranas would continue to build palaces all over the city wasting billions of our Rupees and then it would fall on this ‘great’ government to repair them. 

Look at Singha Durbar today. Our ‘poor’ government can’t even maintain the front gate there.  It is not Oli’s faul. Just blame the Ranas for building such palaces which are now difficult to maintain. So let us demolish them all and build new modern buildings so that our contractors, civil servants and corrupt clowns can all share the chiya kharcha from our sarkari budget. 

The new parliament building which will be completed in five or so years will cost this government more than 700 Karods but if you ask any architect to come up with a bid then he or she can do it for less than half the money. 

This ‘Oli’ sarkar is hell-bent on not only raising our taxes to feed their own hungry stomachs and souls but are also making sure that all projects make them lots of chiya kharcha because they must probably know that, we Nepali voters are not blind like some folks in the West. 

We keep changing the players just for fun and next time around, our comrades might be on the wrong side of the fence. Let us hope that our comrades will see the light soon or else we will have to put up with the King of Dadeldhura next time around.

 If it weren’t for our great netas, the House of Shah would continue to waste 60 Karods of our taxpayers money every year and leave us high and dry. We now know that Late King Birendra was too laid-back while our former King Gyanu Uncle was never really a businessman. 

If he were a business person then he would have hired consultants from Mckinsey or other consulting firms here and abroad. But what did he do? He tried to bring back the mandaleys from the 80s twenty years later. That was like trying to open a institute that teaches how to use type writers when you already have IBM PCs in town.  

And Kamal Thapa is still trying to be relevant today with his nataks. I think Gyanu Unce should just go ahead and open his own political party. Then maybe people like Kamal Thapa and all those so-called “Bring Back Monarchy’ crowd will not get their 15 minutes of talk time at Reporter’s Club.  After all, if Gyanu Uncle is the party head they still think of him as the King then they will always be at the second seat and not in the front unlike today. 

If it weren’t for our netas, Nepal would already have been a failed state and we would have 24 kingdoms and two dozen kings. But, today, we are moving towards peace and prosperity and we have hundreds of Kings who rule over us. But it seems that our netas are still scared of a former King who is now busy wearing garlands and walking around temples. 

Let the man enjoy his free time. He had his chance and he couldn’t hack it but our netas have had theirs and we are still willing to give you guys the opportunity to stay on the right track but it looks our buffoons want to invite the right-wingers back into the game again and again.

It wasn’t hundreds of our lawmakers who discussed, debated and decided to come up with our ‘new’ constitution for our ‘New’ Nepal. It was just a bunch of old fogies who decided it was time to get us a new book because the old one was out of date.  Well, we could have just amended a few things and saved us billions of Rupees but then our netas wouldn’t get their perks and benefits from the state would they?

Our Minister of Disinformation and Miscommunication Gokul Dai is not so cool and our great tabloid journalist thinks he knows more about the press than the rest of us. How can a journalist who becomes a mantri turn his back and be so arrogant and want to curtail press freedom. 

I guess Gokul Dai doesn’t need a job when he is out of power. Our ministers make enough to last seven generations. They can no longer live normal lives, go on a morning walk, buy vegetables and drink doodh chiya at the local pasal after once gets to sit on a kurchi. Then, he or she is a King or the Empress. 

Do you think our Madame President will make a cup of tea for herself and work on  on her memoir once she is out of the President’s House? She will get a free housing, vehicles, security and assistants. But Obama has to get back to the grind. That’s the difference between us and the rest of the world.

If our netas abided by our ‘best constitution then we would not be in such a mess. Our lawmakers are lawbreakers themselves. We have had our constitution since the Ranas left the building but the players used it for their own good and violated the constitution time and again. 

The ‘Oli’ regime is no better. This government has violated our constitution left and right. Our ministers act like bouncers instead of leaders. Poor Yogesh Dai. We want him to be our Justin Trudeau but the man is having a tough time not being viral on YouTube. Another Gyanendra with the extra ‘I’ in his last name is continuing to have his 15 minutes of fame.

Well, I think it will extend for another 15 weeks or even months. I think our Gyanendra Bhai, our YouTube activist needs to tone down a little bit as well. It starts to get boring if you are only bitching and whining everywhere. Now, it’s time to wake up and walk away from the camera and do your thing instead of only blabbering about what’s wrong with our netas. 

If the minister is late to board the aircraft then when he shows up, you and your fellow passengers should clap and thank him for finally letting all of you fly back to Kathmandu. Let us show our politicians, we are peaceful, submissive folks not angry frustrated folks.

This government wants us to stand up for national anthem at Pashupatinath while we cremate our loved ones. It is my constitutional right not to stand up during such times. This government does not want me to go on a picnic or party or in Gokul’s words ‘do not hang out with your girlfriend or boyfriend’. I think we need to ask Nepal Bar Association (NBA) to send their lawyers to teach a thing or two about  constitutional matters. 

It is our constitutional right not to even celebrate Constitution Day and that doesn’t make us traitors.  Our netas should be the ones to preserve, protect and defend the constitution but it is sad that they are the ones who want to attack and destroy the constitution.  Gokul Dai, please do ask your netas to not party and drink like you will drop dead tomorrow during government holidays. We all know what our loafers are up to during off days.

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com