Game of Thrones!

If the creators of Game of Thrones were to visit Nepal then they would probably have enough material to last another ten seasons.  Yes, we have all the alliances, conspiracies and all the masala needed for a successful TV series thanks to our chor netas and their political nataks! 

Maybe, our netas should quit politics and join the entertainment industry as writers while our 'real' writers can join politics and give us something new instead.  It’s also about time our 'real' comedians opened a political party. Maybe, we should have a 'Chakka Panja' party in this land and we can vote for our funny men and women instead of the usual blood sucking parasites.

It’s about time our politicians stopped lying to us and instead throw away their masks and be honest with the people. Please do not talk about eliminating corruption once and for all. We all know that the whole system is corrupt. We now need politicians who will promise to steal a few Rupees less and instead give back the extra Rupee back to his or her constituency. 

Our politicians need our shady byaparis, slimy contractors, stinky civil servants to bring in the dough so that they can fight elections and get the opportunity to loot the state funds for their own personal benefits. Please do not blame the bideshis for our problems. 

It is because of our lazy civil servants who never do their homework and our spineless politicians who do not have the courage to take a stand which is why bideshis continue to roll over us and tell us what's right for our country.  We have no one but to blame our netas for all the problems in this land. 

Our so-called top byaparis evade taxes. Our tax department takes chiya kharcha to look the other way. Our hakim sahebs then use the chiya kharcha to pay our netas so that they can continue to stay in the same office and rake in more moolah. 

It's sad to know that most of our hakim sahebs are in the position of power due to offering boras of cash to the ministers and so-called top leaders of our major political parties. 

It seems that everybody wants to be a politician these days not because they want to do something for their constituency but instead use their influence to get funds from the state and use it for their self interest. No wonder, our netas use all the money and muscles to win elections. 

We are now ready for the first phase of our provincial and parliamentary elections. Our Meowists have once again surprised us all by changing their partner. This time, it's all about sharing the love with other comrades whereas our Kangaroos now want to be friends with whoever are not friends with the communists!  

Our Doctor Saheb has decided to be friends with the Kangaroos instead of joining the 'Commie' bandwagon.  Maybe,we the people should learn a thing or two from our politicians when it comes to forging alliances and breaking it off when your interest is not fulfilled. 

In the past seventy years, this country has seen it all.  We went from the hundred-year rule of our Rana uncles to getting the House of Shah back on the road with Mandaleys having all the fun. We saw our morons whom we thought would change this country but they turn out to be more corrupt than the mandaleys. Our Meowists and Madhesi netas turned out to be the same as the previous pickpockets.  

We have to thank our Kangaroos for introducing nepotism to its fullest in our bureaucracy and throwing meritocracy out the window. We should thank the other parties for taking turns to be coalition partners in successive governments so that they could all get a piece of the loot. 

Maharaja Deuba as usual is not interested in anything except making as much as dough as possible. Now wonder, our Saala Saheb sits at the Finance Ministry and makes decisions so that their near and dear ones can get some dough.

Our security agencies also seem to be more interested to make some dough in the name of security. And our top security officers will then have to pay off our netas to get promotions and lucrative postings. 

Our Kangaroos tell us that we should not vote for the comrades because if they win then we will have to deal with fifty years of doom and gloom. Well, we gave our Kangaroos the right to govern us when they won the majority during the first parliamentary election after the 90s but then they screwed us all by forming coalition government with the same mandaleys and even breaking up and back-stabbing each other to topple one's own government. 

Once we will have our provincial governments, we will have more problems because where are we going to get the dough to feed five hundred and fifty loafers? And we will have our mini-Presidents for our provinces. And let's not even talk about our federal parliament members and the Upper House members.  Our incompetent government has no choice but to raise our taxes to feed our poor, starving politicians. 

Our netas need our bhais in Delhi to work out a plan on how to rule this country. Yes, Delhi has been helping out since the 50s.  The House of Shah has to thank Delhi for helping them out then. Our Morons, Mewoist and Madhesi netas have to thank Delhi for helping them out as well over the years as well.

Maybe, one day, we, the people will have the courage to kick all the clowns out of the country and for a country like ours we might be better off if we go 'Swiss' with direct democracy instead of the so-called representative one where corrupt fools win elections.

Yes, let's have seven heads of our provinces running the show like the Swiss.  Yes, let us not go for the British model or the Amriki 'President' formula. Neither will work in this land. What we need is direct democracy so that we, the common folks will finally have opportunity to take part in decision-making and also be able to challenge any law passed by our nincompoops! 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com