Deuba in Delhi!

King Deuba and our lovely queen is in India having some chai and samosas with the Desi netas and their chamchas while our folks who have been displaced by the floods and landslides across the country have not received much help from our incompetent government.  That's how it works in this land of ours. 

The Thulo Mancheys act like they are cousins of the Sultan of Brunei. At least the Sultant has oil but what do we have? We have nothing except bunch of thieves who agree to disagree on everything except when it comes to sharing the loot and will work together to foil the hopes and aspirations of the Nepali people in any way possible.

It is up to us to fulfill the dreams of our real martyrs who died dreaming of a better tomorrow. It seems that only Dr KC has a dream while the rest of us are too busy living the life without any purpose.  We have seen the Shree Tins leave the building. Well, our grandfathers did but it seems that our government can't even maintain the palaces left by the Ranas and Jangey uncle stares at us from Bhadrakali. If Jangey were alive today, he would be working in the Gulf instead of hatching conspiracies to gain power.

Our incompetent government can't even repair the main gate in Singha Durbar and we expect the chors to rebuild this country. Either we are smoking some illegal substance or we just don’t care until the day our government will come to our homes and loot us all of our belongings as well.

We have seen the Shree Panch give it up as well but now, we have the mini-Maharajas who only lust after power and it doesn't matter to them if millions of us suffer due to their inability to work together for a peaceful and prosperous Nepal.  

It seems that our government today can't even run the state enterprises or the government agencies formed during the times of the Pancheys. Yes, the Shree Tins were bad and the Pancheys were no good either but are our buffoons any better than the chors from yesteryears?  It seems that in this beautiful land of ours, our government continues to honor thieves and murderers and that's okay with us!

Our chor netas are busy dividing this country into little pieces. They think that this country is a birthday cake and it's their birthday everyday! It's not that folks don't make money in this land. We, the common folks make enough to survive while our chor netas, civil servants, contractors and cadres make enough to build mansions in the capital and enjoy the life of luxury. 

Deuba and Modi met for an hour and God knows what they talked about but we all know that Modi didn't understand a word our King Deuba said. Our Prime Monster was probably thinking to himself that he can't really bring Oxford University to Nepal but maybe, he can ask Modi to help him bring one of those IIT schools in our land as well so that our graduates will also be able to compete in the global arena and make six figure salaries in dollars instead of finding no jobs in our land and seeking work below their qualification for a few Dinars more.

India tells us that it provides billions of Rupees to us to help our schools, infrastructure and give pensions to our folks who have served in the Indian Army. Great but why can't the Modi government address the demands of the Indian Nepalis in Darjeeling? 

Yes, the folks in Darjeeling are Indian citizens of Nepali origin and it does not look right if we speak for them when it comes to their internal matters and our Desi bhais should do the same when it comes to our internal  affairs as well. 

The good news is that our Madhesi netas have agreed to participate in all upcoming polls. Our netas from the plains would rather visit the Indian Embassy in Lainchour or some Desi netas across the border for guidance on how to play their game in Nepali politics instead of sitting down with their brothers and sisters in their own land to sort out their differences. 

The RJP-N tells us that it is happy that our government has addressed some of their demands and will now pressure the government further to address the rest of their demands through peaceful protest programs. 

Let us hope that such peaceful protest programs does not include sitting on the border and stopping all traffic again. The RJP-N has decided to use bicycle as its election symbol because the Election Commission (EC) refused umbrella as demanded by the party. Let us hope our folks in Tarai will get free bicycles if the party wins big there. 

When Deuba was our Prime Monster two decades ago, he was just stepping into his 50s and could finish a bottle or two of bideshi raksi. Now, he is a senior citizen and we hear that he has cut down on smoking and drinking but his outburst against those who dared to ask him any questions during one of those TV programs has cast doubt on his mental stability. And we expect such folks to work together to provide political stability in this land of ours!

Deuba may have aged and gone senile but his love for breaking the rules, sharing the loot and abusing his authority have not diminished at all. I guess our King Deuba and all our chor netas could finally quit stealing from the state, the people and the world if they enroll in some kind of a hypnosis program. 

We don't know if it will work but we are willing to give anything a try in hopes that our thieves will repent and will have a change of heart and finally work for the people instead of the bideshi donors and their agents. 

Deuba tells Modi that he will do everything in his power to amend the constitution of our land. Yes, Deuba is good at offering boras of cash and other gift hampers. It might work this time as well but can our Prime Monster also tell Modi that he should do everything in his power to at least help the Gorkha bhai baheno in his own land!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

In Government We Don't Trust!

Our incompetent government has decided to release a billion Rupees  from the Prime Minister Disaster Relief Fund to our Home Ministry to help the folks affected by floods and landslides in the country.  

It seems that many of our byaparis, NRNs and other thulo mancheys do contribute to the PM's fund because then they can take pictures with whoever is living in Baluwatar. The picture with the PM will then be hung in their offices to impress, flatter or cheat other potential investors, clients or contractors. That's how it works in this land of hardworking citizens ruled by corrupt chors!

But ordinary folks would rather donate to social organizations they know or to their friends who are carrying out relief works in Terai. I would rather give some money to Dhurmus-Suntali Foundation rather than to our sarkari chors. 

Dhurmus is already in Terai helping the folks there. Dr KC has even postponed his hunger strike for now and will go there to help the folks affected by the floods and landslides. 

Where are our political cadres who come to the valley in thousands to show their strength or get ready to burn taxis at 4 am in the morning during Nepal bandas? It seems that our karykartas only come out of their houses to burn tyres, vehicles and public property but do not want to collect tyres and make them into some kind of rafts, collect funds and relief materials and go to the affected areas to help those in need. 

After all, our political cadres only know how to enjoy free fuel and masu bhat during election campaigns. So it is difficult for folks who are used to freebies to instead help others. Our netas and their cadres only know how to misuse the state funds for their own personal interest and they have yet to realize that the reason they are engaged in politics is to help the people not make money off the people!

But our government never does its homework and every year, it's busy asking for funds from donor agencies and INGOs while preventing its own citizens from carrying out relief works in areas affected by natural disasters. Why is our own government stopping us from helping our brothers and sisters? 

It's because, our sarkari hakims don’t want the common folks to help each other. They want to make sure that they can profit from the relief materials provided by common folks and donor agencies. We know that most of the tents donated by bideshis after the earthquake ended up at the homes of our thulo mancheys. 

Two years later, hundreds of thousands of families are still living in tarps or open spaces. It seems that our chor netas, lazy civil servants and bideshis consultants are happy when we get hit by natural disasters because that's the time to make the most moolah in the name of helping the people!

This is the same government that spends Rs 7 billion for so-called inspection and monitoring of development projects across the country and our contractors are rewarded for not doing their job while we the people lose our lives due to their shoddy works. But it is always hesitant to spend money to help the people affected by natural disasters across the country. 

It does not shy away from providing millions of Rupees in compensation to the folks who lead protest programs and kill security personnel but does not think about the families of those killed by the government or by the protesters.  Let us not hope for justice in this land where justices are appointed based on their political affiliation. Here, justices are bought and if they cannot be bribed then they face impeachment or shown the door.

Our corrupt government tells us that affected families will receive Rs 200,000 while our King Deuba and other thulo mancheys spends millions on helicopter rides to vist the areas hit by the floods and landslides. So far, more than hundred folks have lost their lives and millions have been displaced by the natural disasters across the country. 

A cadre who vandalizes public property and then gets killed during protest programs is declared a martyr and his family is provided a million Rupees as compensation.  Therefore, we should all take membership of a political party, especially, the big three because it will come in handy in times of needs.

As usual, our Prime Monster Deuba is busy directing hakim sahebs to help the affected families and make sure that they receive food and shelter. Our politicians are good at giving out directions. Deuba gave our hakims sahebs two weeks to fill our potholes in the valley and repair our roads. Some of it might have been filled but our roads are still muddy and we all know that our concerned agencies have already stopped doing the repair works because our politicians will only give direction once and really don't care if they are fulfilled or not.

Maybe it's time, our government formed a Civil Defense Force or something similar so that we, the people can train and be part of the rescue and relief missions across the country in times of natural disasters. Yes, we understand that our government lacks resources be it manpower or supplies and it needs a helping hand. 

We, the people are ready to help and we would rather want our sarkari hakims to allow us to help the government to help the people instead of only thinking of ways to preventing us from doing our share to help our brothers and sisters.

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Heartless Hoodlums

Every year, hundreds of thousands of families are displaced due to landslides and floods in this country but our incompetent government never takes any initiative to minimize such disasters.  

Either we blame the Gods above or our chimeki for flooding our border areas or the slimy contractors for carrying out shoddy works.  Instead of wasting our time by playing the blame game, why not work on a plan to be better prepared to face the problems in the future? Our scouts seem to be better prepared than our folks in power!

This country can only move forward when our hardworking civil servants and honest politicians finally take the blame and accept responsibility for their own incompetence. Most of us learn from our mistakes and we work to not repeat it again. 

It seems that our government never learns from its mistakes and keeps on repeating it because the people do not have the courage to take a stand and hold our folks in power accountable. Our politicians and civil servants should consider themselves fortunate for having such a passive and submissive populace. Maybe Ganesh Man Bajey was right. Are we all bhedas?

Every year, school children raise funds for the families affected by natural disasters in the country. It seems that we, the people care for our own brothers and sisters than our incompetent government. We seem to have a soul while our corrupt chors have sold their souls to the devil.

Our highways are obstructed every monsoon, lives are lost but our government is silent. Instead our politicians take helicopters to visit affected areas, announce some relief package that is peanuts while they spend millions and even billions on foreign visits, medical treatments overseas and perks and benefits for themselves. 

If our VVIPs were to receive benefits according to the wealth of this country then they would not even get a bicycle. They would have to walk to work or take public transportation like most of us and breathe in the fumes and polluted air as well. 

They would either be living in slums along the Bagmati river without any plumbing and sanitation or would be cursing the landlords in the valley for increasing the house rent by double after the earthquake. But our politicians do not know or choose to ignore the pain and sufferings of the people. And that happens when you live in a bubble and get used to living like Kings.

We are one of the poorest countries in the world but our politicians and civil servants are the richest in the world because they make more through kickbacks, bribes and payoffs. 

Former Amriki President Obama has to work his ass off taking on any speaking engagements out there to make sure that he and his family can continue to maintain the lifestyle they are accustomed to but here in this land of ours, our hakim sahebs and chor netas rake in the moolah while in power and make enough dough to last seven generations. 

It's been more than two years since we got hit by the Big One and our government has forgotten the families affected by the earthquake. The people in the valley have been waiting to shower with the water from Melamchi for decades and we are still waiting. 

It seems that the favorite pastime for our civil servants and politicians is to never meet the deadline and keep on procrastinating while milking the funds meant for the development of this country. 

It seems that our corrupt politicians have the brain to win elections by all means necessary. We all know that our Emperor managed to win in Siraha by a thin margin thanks to his magic tricks. And once again, our Emperor and King Deuba has managed to show us all that they know how to win elections by using all the tricks possible to help our Princess become the Mayor!

Earlier, we had Sujata Auntie and she gave us the 'Lauda' and 'Sudan' scam while her son-in-law probably made billions from his illegal VoIP nataks. Well, Renu didi is only a Mayor and not a mantri but let us all hope that she will do good instead of only making sure that her election expenses are recovered with profit.  

But she will also have to make sure that her Kangaroos allies rake in some moolah as well and the only way to make some money is to ask, sorry, extort from contractors and byaparis. Politics is a dirty game and if you want to be a politician someday, then please visit a psychiatrist and get an evaluation first. Are you a psychopath? Yes. Are you a pathological liar? Yes. Are you a narcissist? Yes. Then welcome to Nepali politics.

Our netas have the brain and brawn to cook up dirty schemes to extort from byaparis, civil servants and contractors but what they seem to lack is a heart to understand the feelings of the common citizens. Do our politicians even have a conscience? 

It seems that they do not know when they are doing something wrong. When will our politicians learn to put themselves in our shoes? How can they continue to loot us all and not feel ashamed at all? What we hoped for were politicians who are willing to do good for this country but so far, we have only gotten parasites who love to enjoy the benefits at the expense of the people!  

Dr KC seems to be the only person in this nation of 30 million people who is willing to sacrifice his life to give us a better tomorrow.  The fight is not only against the medical mafia but the system as well. 

Our country is suffering from cancer. We still have some time left before our cancer spreads everywhere. Do we want to join Dr KC to be a survivor or do we just ignore our suffering and just die without trying?  We, the silent majority continue to remain silent. Isn't it time to take our country back from the clutches of our chors?  

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Gumboots for all!

Our honorable Prime Monster Deuba goes to Chitwan to see for himself if our hardworking contractors are doing their job right along the Narayangadh-Muglin stretch. Whom are we kidding? We all know how our contractors do their job and if it wasn't for their carelessness and tardiness, our folks would not be losing their lives while on our highways and even in our cities!

And somebody should have at least made Deuba aware that leather shoes are not a good choice when walking on hilo-mailo. Just wear a gumboot instead! Why not just give us all gumboots during the monsoon and we won't even care if Deuba's brother-in-law makes millions when securing the contract to provide free gumboots for all Nepalis! 

We are still waiting for the day when our government saves us a few Rupees and at least give us some rebate on the taxes we pay instead of only raising our taxes. When we are all done with the provinces and stuff, don't be surprised if we pay more taxes because then we need to feed our local representatives and our chor netas at the provincial and central level as well.

 More than fifty people have lost their lives along the Narayangadh-Mulin stretch but it seems that our incompetent government is least bothered when ordinary Nepalis lose their lives. If it were some mantri or even a low-life chor who happens to be a member of one of our political parties then the government would have offered millions of Rupees in compensation.  

So if you are a smart Nepali then you should get a membership of one of our major political parties and you can stop paying premiums on your life insurance because the party will make sure you get something even if you get fried when stealing electricity from NEA! 

King Deuba takes a chopper to fly to Chitwan.  Why can't our politicians take a bus like most of us and show us or even act like they do care?  If you ask Deuba this question then his answer would be that he is a VVIP and he has to make sure that he gets back to the capital in a few hours so that he can attend to meetings with his chamchas and fellow netas on how to efficiently and effectively loot the state treasury and also extort from our civil servants, contractors and other con artists.

Deuba like all other politicians receives garlands, khatas and bouquets on arrival from his chamchas.  Either we, the people choose to forget our problems and act like our politicians are great that we must bow before them and offer flowers like we did to our Kings before or we just want to kiss their arse so that one of our cousins will get some thekka-patta or a government job somewhere. 

And Deuba is the king of deals. He may not do what is right for the country but he will certainly do what is right for our politicians and their near and dear ones. In other countries, politicians win votes because the people think they can do better for the country. Here, in this land, politicians continue to be in power as long as they make other evil doers happy. 

Maybe, our politicians could learn a thing or two from the Desis across the border. Instead of receiving bouquets, we should gift our politicians books. It seems that our netas don’t read much because they still have the same mindset they had when they were fighting the 'Panchyati' system. 

We have been a multi-party democracy since the 90s and today, we are a Republic but it seems that our politicians now think that we, the people are the enemies and it is their job to make sure that we suffer and shut up as well. We have gotten rid of a King but we will have to now deal with hundreds of mini-Maharajas and their courtiers. Good luck to all of us!

We should not be cursing and saying bad things about each other in Facebook but if you are a public figure then you should have a thick skin and be able to take criticism as well. Unless, somebody is threatening to physically harm somebody or has stolen stuff or even personal data then our police should look into the matter.

But it seems that we will be missing our 'freedom' of religion, speech and even the right to assembly if we just keep on shutting up and allow our chor netas to continue to do whatever they like.

This country is run by mafias and our slimy contractors have to pay local mundrey gundas affiliated with our political parties to win the government contracts. Then, they have to pay off our civil servants to get the payment for jobs they never complete. 

We have mafias everywhere. Our jagga dalals work with our civil servants to sell government lands to the public. Our transportation wallahs can overcharge us and get away with it. Our byaparis can sell us adulterated food products, fuel and fruits and all they get is a fine of a few thousand Rupees .  

Our civil servants are the ones who need to be held accountable because it is them who have the responsibility to monitor the market and take action against such byaparis but instead take chiya kharcha and allow the byaparis to make more money by cheating consumers.

It seems that what we are missing is accountability and until we hold those in power accountable, we will continue to live miserable lives. Our contractors are not worried even when our brothers and sisters lose their lives due to shoddy construction works, our bus wallahs can run us over and pay a few lakhs and keep on driving and our netas can continue to loot us all while we just smile and offer them bouquets instead of brickbats! 

When it comes to brickbats, I am not advocating the use of real bricks against our corrupt folks but at least, we should be free to voice our opinion and not be arrested for calling a thief a thief!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com