Saturday, June 21, 2014

SAARC Summit

Our incompetent government wants to spend Rs 350 million to purchase 7 armored bulletproof luxury vehicles for our chimeki leaders for the SAARC Summit on November 14.  And then we need another 30 or so vehicles for their spouses and other high-ranking officials as well.

By the time the summit is over, we would probably spend at least a billion Rupees so that the leaders of the SAARC nations can come together to share a plate of momo and sekuwa in Kathmandu. And their spouses can visit our temples, stupas and Durbar squares as well.

NaMo is a vegetarian and he likes to bring his own cook. That will probably save us some money. And his foreign policy advisors should remind him that we do not have a monarchy anymore. Let's hope that he won't confuse Nepal with Bhutan and then thank Gyanu Uncle for hosting the summit.

The Finance Ministry wants Mercedes-Benz for the foreign leaders while the Foreign Ministry favors BMW. Well, at least both ministries seem to like German vehicles.  

Instead of paying for it, why not ask Angela Merkel to give us some Freebies? After all, our government doesn't mind begging for vehicles for our elections and what not from India.  So, why can't we beg for a few more vehicles from Germany this time around?

I think Sushil Da should wear a Germany T-shirt and take a Selfie while he seeks medical treatment in New York. That could win the hearts and the minds of the German people and they could start a campaign to pressure their government to give us the vehicles. And we could send them seven Thankas to thank for the gifts as well. 

And if we can't have any freebies then let's just stick with rickshaws so that our SAARC leaders can enjoy their ride from the airport to their hotels. And our government can do us all a favor by shutting down all the streets in the capital so that we can stay home and watch the same old SAARC natak on TV. 

Just have our security personnel on the streets and there won't be any need for any bullet-proof armored vehicles either.  I think the best way to make the headlines around the world would be to have the SAARC leaders ride on elephants. 

And we can name the elephants after the leaders and have them sponsor luxury retirement for the elephants after the summit is over. 'NaMo' the elephant would probably be the luckiest of them all because the Desis have more funds than the rest of us.

Instead of hosting such good for nothing events costing us billions of Rupees, why not organize a SAARC dance festival instead and the winning country gets 100 million Rupees?  

It could be a seven-day festival where each country gets to showcase their local dances for a day at our National Stadium. And TV viewers in the SAARC region can vote for their favorite dancers.  

After everyone has finished showing their dance moves, we will then tally the votes and declare the winner. 

We could probably sell the TV rights to one of those Desi channels and make tens of billion Rupees as the viewership would be over a billion people. We could make a billion Rupees from SMSes alone.  

I think our government should focus on organizing events for the people and think of making some dough out of it instead of wasting our taxpayers money to entertain the SAARC leaders.

Our government should focus on writing the constitution instead of finding ways to earn chiya kharcha by buying luxury vehicles for such events. What will we do with luxury vehicles after the summit is over? 

Maybe, we should just give them to our President so that he can drive around the capital in a different bullet-proof armored luxury vehicle every day.  

After all, if the vehicles are not used regularly then it will just be a rusty, weed garden in a few years like many of the other vehicles purchased by our governments earlier. 

The World Cup fever is still going strong and we are all sad that Spain is not going to the second round.  Maybe, they just got lazy and were over-confident but all good things come to an end. 

They had a good run winning two Euro Championship and one World Cup but it’s the end of an era and time for the Germans and the Flying Dutchman to show us their skills. 

But this time around, the so-called weaklings have shown courage and are not scared of the giants. That is how you play football. You need to have the hunger to win games and even if you lose then give everything you got and win some respect. 

I guess Spain was not hungry and they thought their tiki-taka was better than the rest but the other teams showed the Spaniards that it is on its final tick-tock instead!

England is also out of the World Cup and it's time the English learn to play football again. The last time they won it was back at home in 1966. I think they will probably win it again in 2066 if they get to host the tournament. 

Until then, let's support Germany and get free luxury vehicles for our SAARC leaders this November.

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