Wednesday, January 11, 2023

Dear Home Minister Rabi Lamichhane Dai!





Wishing all of us a very Happy New Year 2023. May all of us be happy and healthy even though we might never be wealthy or wise. Elon Musk loses US$ 200 billion in a year (well, it was mostly on paper and not the real thing!), so be happy that you lost only twenty unless you were buying some Crypto in 2022. 

And if you are a Nepali living in Nepal then don't deal with Crypto or the government will send you to jail for decades while those dealing with all other illegal stuff gets rewarded. Look at our former Finance Minister who wanted to change the Governor of the NRB just because the guy would not approve some guy's illegal money transferred from Amrika.

Yes, crypto is illegal in our land so don't be a smart arse and get involved in it an don't fall for any tricks from your instagram follower promising you 1,000% return. That only happens if you are a drug dealer. Stay away from drugs unless it is legally prescribed and making rich Pharmas richer.

When will we learn? I guess some of us did not learn a thing or two from that UNITY scam a decade ago or other so-called get rich quick scams before that. If somebody promises you lakhs when you have only invested like ten or twenty grand then either he is either El Chapo's son living in Mexico or just another scamster.

And when will we prevent our own folks from investing their hard-earned money on other multi-level-marketing scams? Crypto is not a scam but it will take a decade more to be the 'it' currency hola but until then let us enjoy the crypto tsunami hitting the world. 

If you are in foreign lands and hold foreign citizenship then please make sure you have given up on our Nepali citizenship. Then you can invest in whatever you want but if you are still holding that Nepali nagarikta even though it is illegal then be careful if you still think crypto is for you. 

Everything legal in Amrika may not be legal here. Even us, living here don't know the laws of this land. Even the government officials who formulate the laws and the lawmakers who pass the laws are confused sometimes about most of the stuff too.

And 99% of Nepali folks who have taken foreign citizenship have been using their Nepali nagarikta to buy land, transfer assets here and there. Please be aware that it is against the law to have dual citizenship in this country. But who cares? Not until you are politically engaged and get elected to be a member of the House.

Let's hope things get better in China because we are all into this thing together. The rest of the world is now learning to live with the virus but it seems everything is going crazy in Xi's place. Let us pray that we will get used to living with all kinds of viruses and the world will not shut down like it did for a few years again till another century.

Maybe, we will have some other scary worldwide chart busting virus in 2120. Well, we will long be dead by then except for a few lucky ones but it's time we write letters to the future generation, warning them of some kind of a virus that seem to strike the world every hundred years. If you are a history buff then you don't even need them letters. You already know that history repeats itself.

It's now 2023 AD or almost 2080 BS here. We experimented with the so-called Democracy in 1951. It's been almost 72 years now and we need to look back and see where we are today ever since the Shree Tin Ranas left the building. 

We fiddled with the Panchayati system, the multi-party democratic system and now, we are a federal Republic. We could blame the Pancheys for all the mess. Even, the House of Shah had to take the blame for the past two hundred plus years of enjoying the loot or whatever we call it. I feel sorry for them because they rarely got to enjoy anything but it was the Bhai-bhardars, the five, maybe, mafia families from Gorkha who enjoyed the loot and power rather than the Shah Kings themselves.

Then came the Kunwar Kazi who became the godfather of them all and then his own family got wiped out by this brother's kids. Man, who needs Don Corleone or any Shogun sheet or even other crime movies when our own political nataks before 1951 were better than the Game of Thrones?

We were finally excited and eager for change when we had the multi-party democratic system in our land in the early 90s. But what did the Congressis or the Kangaroos do? They just gorged on our State funds, hired their cadres for government jobs and were more corrupt than the Pancheys. 

And our Unidentified Mundrey Leaders were in power for barely 9 months during that decade and the only thing they are famous for till now is raising the Bridda Bhatta, old age allowance as if we are making a surplus every year or raking in enough taxes from us all. 

It's about time we teach our kids and every ordinary citizens, like most of us, that the government is not the solution to our problems but only problems for our solution or I am confused about what our government does anyway. Even Ronnie couldn't figure it out when he was the Amriki President when Michael Jackson was still black and beautiful. Well, he turned White and got into trouble with kids but let's leave that story for another day.

Anyways, we should all be aware that we export barely a billion dollars worth of goods while we import more than ten billion dollars worth of stuff from bideshis, majority from India. 

So every Rupee we earn or the person earns in the Middle East, his or her family is spending probably ten times more for goods and who makes the money. Our so-called businessmen and women who think they are entrepreneurs or industrialists but are in reality just mere agents and dalals for foreign companies trading their goods here, make some comission but 90% of the dough goes to foreign lands. 

We live in a country, where we spend more than half a billion dollars or more buying vegetables, fruits, goats, old hardened buffaloes for our buff momos from India. We spend billions of dollars on petrol, diesel and cooking gas from India. Why can't we all go electric or even ride bicycles to work and school and save us billions of dollars of our hard earned money. 

Our government taxes us on everything from fuel to vehicles to even the notebook you get from India and we get nothing in return except bad roads, poor healthcare and crumbling public schools and what not. No wonder, private hospitals and private schools and colleges and banks make all the dough in this land. 

Do you know that our telecom providers, yes, the government one and the Malaysian have the highest profit margin compared to the rest of the world? I hear it's almost 60% while rest of the telecom operators around the world make 20 to 30% profit on revenue. And the funny thing about Ncell is that the so-called 20% Nepali owned natak is not even real but a fake deal to help our shady NRN byaparis move around their black money. 

Well, I guess, I will never be the brand ambassador of Ncell ever. But I love Nasi Goreng. Oh I forgot is that Malaysian or Indonesian? Who cares? I love it! Food, music, arts and sports have no geographical boundaries. Everything else is just wasting time to brag about who has the bigger stick or whatever.

We had a decade long so-called civil war where only those who were either poor or didn't have the means to get plump postings (our security personnel) were massacred by both sides, the State and the so-called Saviors of our land, who wanted to change the whole system and make us all rich and happy.

We still don't understand why the chief of the Armed Police Force and his wife was gunned down while on a morning walk by our great Maobaddies? And even a General who was ambushed and killed along the highway. 

As if these two senior ranking security personnel were responsible for any atrocities committed by the state security agencies. The picture of a local school teacher, tied up by a tree and shot to death continues to haunt me and probably some of us till this day. And yes, some of our state security personnel were engaged in severe human rights violations of innocent villagers in Rukum, Rolpa where women were raped and villages razed. 

Both parties are to be blamed and it seems that those who committed the crimes or gave the orders to do so will never be held accountable in this land as long as we have the bunch of thieves running every show in town, from our federal parliament to the bureaucracy. I loved watched Cholendra Dai talking about bad lawyers and the problem with the judiciary. 

It's funny to hear a Chief Justice rant about the courts while he himself is as corrupt as the rest of the clowns. Stick to playing your game or marriage card game and drinking at your residence now since you are retired. 

The only honest Chief Justice in our land was the first woman CJ and hopefully not the last, Madame Sushila Karki. Everyone else had to make deals with the devil or compromise in some ways. She was a courageous woman who could take on Prachanda or any other clowns. We wish we had witnessed the same courage from another first woman who lives in Shital Niwas.
 
But it seems that everything is fair in politics only and that too only in Nepal and bunch of us developing countries. Forget love and war, everybody pays a price when falling in and out of love and being at both the winning and the losing end in a war. 

Prachanda, the 'fierce' one became our Prime Minister in 2008 but it didn't take even 100 days to figure out that he was no better than all our previous Prime Monsters of our land. Today, Prachanda has received the vote of confidence not only from his coalition partners but even the Kangaroos supporting his third stint at the Baluwatar FC.  Something is fishy. Don't be surprised to see bhaag banda on political appointments and promotions and transfers of civil servants. Yes, the Congressis will make some dough while on the sidelines as well. This is how it is ... in this land of Sita and Buddha.

Prachanda says, he has changed and now the buzz word is 'consensus' .... consensus for what... a  not-so gentlemen's agreement to share the loot maybe?

Rabi Dai is our Home Minister. He was in custody at a police station in Chitwan a few years ago. He must know a thing or two about being in custody at a local police station in Nepal. The rooms are dark and dampy with no lights and a dingy bathroom. A dozen folks caged inside a room and no access to sunlight or even exercise. 

No wonder, people become suicidal in our police stations. If you are lucky, you will be free and on your way home if not then you will spend at least 25 days inside the police station until the court finds you guilty and sends you to a real prison or finds you not guilty and you can go home and finally enjoy a decent meal.

The first thing, Rabi Dai should work on is to improve how the custody thing works. Do you know that if the local police officer don't like you because your face looks similar to the guy who eloped with his girlfriend then he or she can put you in custody for 25 days without any charges? 

Yes, that's how our laws of the land work. I think it's called 'Abhadra Byawahaaar'. If they can't find anything to charge you with, then they will keep you in detention for a 25 for disturbing the peace or whatever or the same Abhadra Byawahaar.

Many of our politicians, the old ones have been to jail or detained by police and have faced physical abuse as well in the past but many have become Home Ministers but they have never really worked to reform the system at all. 

We can't blame the police wallahs only and expect them to change overnight. The government must make sure that the police wallahs are better equipped to deal with the citizens and carry out fair investigation while respecting the human rights of an individual.

We have to wait for elections or Independence Day of India to get new police vans. There is no money for maintenance, if there is , then very little and the police wallahs have to resort to asking local byaparis for extra dough to fill up petrol or diesel for their police vans. 

Local police stations have a room or two to place folks in custody while they investigate all kinds of crimes or even false allegations. You can't place murderers, kidnappers, rapists along with folks who may have committed petty crimes or even financial or other small nataks like getting drunk and getting into a scuffle with a traffic wallah at two in the morning. 

Yes, drunks get to spend a night in local police station and sent home the next day or if he or she acts smart then be prepared to spend 25 days for guess what... 'Abhadra Byawahaar'.

Some of us might feel that all those who have violated the laws of this land should be treated harshly like animals. Yes, hang all the murderers and rapists and what not but please don't forget that if we are a civilized society then we have to be civilized and understand that we should make sure that we leave it to the courts to find them guilty and not take law upon ourselves.

Our laws do not give our police personnel any right to torture or coerce folks to sign statements implicating them of crimes they have not committed. Yes, our justice system is not perfect but as the end of the day, the courts decide whether you are going home or to prison. 

So, our lawmakers should make the judiciary independent, well, they should be separate and independent according to our constitution but who cares about the constitution in this land. You have to make monetary deals to get your judgeship and what not in this land and even appointment of justices have quota system in our beautiful land.

Expect our Chief Justices to face impeachment nataks every time our lawmakers are not happy with the Supreme Court's decisions on something political. Our old grumpy politicians have introduced politics and shady deals everywhere and have not even left our sports organizations or local tole samitis alone. 

Yes, it's just 10% of bad cops who make the police force look bad. Not all priests are pedophiles, just ask the Pope in Vatican. Not all politicians are crooked. Well, in Nepal, 90% of our politicians are crooked and that makes us question and be suspicious of even the 10% of our lawmakers who really want to bring change and help this country move forward.

Rabi Dai, you have not been to a real prison, so you may not know what happens there. So, first, make sure that those in custody are treated with respect like human beings. We know that you were mentally tortured by some cops when in custody.

Make sure that, those held in police custody get at least a bed to sleep on and maybe an hour of exercise outside their cell and get some Vitamin D. You have been there and you know what I mean. Money talks everywhere. You have tasted the food while in custody. Maybe, a less watery daal and less rotten vegetables will help. After all, it's not like we are collecting leftovers for pigs. Sorry, pigs mean something else in the West. Let us not treat those in custody like animals is what I am trying to say. With due respect to all animal lovers, yes, even animals need good food and not rotten stuff.

Our Finance Ministry and bureaucrats will tell you that they don't have the funds to even provide jackets and blankets for folks suffering from the cold winter and how on earth can they provide funds to provide beds and other resources for those in custody at local police stations or even our prisons?. Our government will always have enough money to waste our taxpayers money but not enough to help others.

Except for heinous crimes, it's about time we focus on rehabilitation instead of just packing all violators in a dingy room like sardines. If a guy decides to vandalize a microbus because he didn't get paid his salary as a Khalasi then what's the point of putting him in detention for nearly a month and the the court deciding that he should pay a fine or spend months in a real prison? 

Have him do some community service for six months, maybe every weekend, like clean up the same bus park where he used to work. Who knows, he may get a helping hand from another micro bus sahuji and become a micro bus driver than a khalasi who is getting ripped off by his own sahuji.  

Our real prisons are different from the dingy cells at the local police station. KP Oli knows very well. He spent all around fourteen years here and there. But even him or other Ram, Shyam and Hari who have been to jail for political reasons have never done anything to reform the prison system. 

We all know that our district jails are run by the inmates and not the security personnel. The main don, or the guy who is the Naikey or Chowkidaar or whatever they call it, makes millions of Rupees per year by controlling the small businesses inside the prison. Yes, we have tea shops, pool halls, canteen and what not inside our prisons.

I heard that there is even a gold shop inside our Central Jail in the heart of Kathmandu but I haven't been there and I can't verify it. Maybe, our Home Minister could visit the place and see if there is really a gold shop inside. 

Our prison inmates just spend their days doing nothing. Those with no money coming from home can expect to get free two meals of dal bhat and tarkari and those with money can buy cigarettes, eat cups of coffee, tea and momos and chocolates and wai wai and what not. 

I heard that the inmates who control the prison make money by taking rent from inmates who want to conduct businesses inside the prison. A pool hall at Central Jail goes for more then ten lakhs and then monthly rent running to lakhs per month. Who are their customers? Well, the inmates with some extra money from home who have the dough to spend it on khaja and other activities.

When you have thousands of inmates packed in a prison with actual capacity for a few hundred then there will be problems with housing, sanitation and what not. At the same time, some inmates with money can make millions of Rupees every year operating tea shops, small restaurants and pool halls and what not.

We all know that our jailers, the prison department officials and the inmates who control the prison share the loot. Maybe, our Home Minister will look into this as well. It's about time, we become serious about our prisons and the inmates. 

There are roughly 25,000 folks in prisons in our land. Our prisons were built to hold less than 5,000 half a century ago. Every prison of ours are crowded. I heard that thirty folks sleep on the floor in a room enough to put up merely a dozen folks.

Instead of letting cunning criminals run the show in our prisons, feed the prisoners well and make them work in some productive stuff. Not everyone knows how to make stools or carpets which are the so-called jobs offered in prisons. 

Maybe, they can make soaps, candies, breads or even frozen momos or grow dalley khursani or Kale in some greenhouse  and if they are skilled then furniture or even rockets for Elon Musk. 

If you are young and physically fit then they can do some construction work and get paid for it. If somebody is in jail for twenty years for murder, then we have to figure out how to make him or her repent and work towards being a better person. 

We all make mistakes but only some of us end up in prison. Some folks have mental problems that makes them commit heinous crimes. We need to hire more mental health professionals and help them. We cannot just think that locking them up for two decades will solve the problem. 

What do we do with a twenty-year old who has murdered someone and spends twenty years in prison? He will be out at 40. How do we prepare him for the outside world? If he has decent IQ, he could study and finish his PhD by the time he comes out  and teach the young generation or if he has other skills, then vocational training might be a good fit. 

Yes, there are exceptions. Serial killers and serial rapists and serial robbers need to be segregated and evaluated for they might have serious mental disorders. I think that if you have not caused any personal injury or death of someone then the convict convicted of other crime should pay back to society by you know, doing some community service for years or months or even decades. Isn't it just a waste of state funds to lock somebody up for decades and not get anything in return from that person? 

What about folks like Sahakaari and bank sahujis who embezzle depositers money? I don't know, make him count all the notes by hand everyday for 8 hours for a decade and hope he gets it right or he has to start from day one of his sentence. Icchamaan Dai from the Civil circus company will spend six years in jail. Nobody can touch the 500+ crores, he embezzled from his depositors. . But  guy who got in a for a few lakhs will spend a decade. That's how the system works

We don't have capital punishment in our land. Maybe, we should introduce caning like in Singapore but I personally don't support the death penalty like in Singapore. 

We have to give folks a second chance. Who knows, they may turn out to be good human beings and contribute something to the society later in their life after they have served their time? Hanging people will not prevent crimes. Teach them to be call center operators and maybe they can work for our telecoms to provide customer service. That's just a thought. I don't know. I am not an expert. 

I hear that we receive millions of dollars for our prisons from our donors. We don't know where that money goes. The government must build new prisons or repair and maintain the old ones so that the inmates can live like a normal human being and not caged animals who are depressed, angry and commit more crimes when they are out. 

Maybe, our prisons should not be in urban areas but in rural areas where inmates can work on farms or factories. We all need mental and physical exercise to be healthy. Playing pool and ludo all day cramped inside prisons meant for a quarter of those imprisoned will only build frustrated animals and not people!

Our police wallahs at the same time need more resources to fight crime. It's about time, we gave every cop a bicycle because we can't afford the motorcycle unless the Indian Embassy celebrates the next  Independence Day of their land. I think cycles help in the cities, for rural or even terai areas where it's all spread out then get as much motorcycles as you can instead of packing a dozen policewallahs in a old van and showing up like two hours after the incident is reported.

Instead of laathis and what not, I support pepper sprays. It's about time, our cops stopped cracking skulls, backs and kneecaps. The most a pepper spray can harm is one's eyes for some time. We need to teach our police wallahs to be more humane, courteous and treat ordinary citizens like their own brothers and sisters instead of acting all high and mighty and using abusive language and assaulting them. No one deserves to be treated like that. 

It's sad that a minority of folks in our police force, the courts and nearly everywhere are corrupted as hell. We cannot change everyone but we can maybe minimize the harassment and miscarriage of justice. Rabi Dai, you have the most difficult task in the country now. 

Prachanda has it easy. He just gives instructions or directions are whatever and our government wallahs will ignore it because they know very well that giving orders will not scare them. Change the law or act or whatever. 

Let every person bring two iPhones but change the customs act or regulation or whatever you call it. Let them bring ten tolas of gold. Who cares?  Most folks are migrant workers who have worked hard and want to bring some gifts for their loved ones. Why two phones. Well, one for the Mrs and one for the mistress or I don't know. Sorry, for the sexist joke. One for personal use and one to sell for a few thousand pocket kharcha hola. It's their hard earned money, what is your #$!@ing problem ... these bhansaar karmachaaris who have nothing better to do but enjoy ripping those returning from abroad?

Why is our government agencies hell bent on only harassing and giving our own citizens a hard time. Why do our Armed Police Force wallahs harass housewives who bring in a little more sugar or oil or even saaris at the border? And then our custom wallahs with the help from both the regular police and armed police make sure that many byaparis evade taxes on the imported goods.

Rabi Dai is walking on a tight rope. A corrupt CDO somewhere allows criminals to destroy the environment by their dhunga-khani business and the Home Minister will get the blame. Our police wallahs laathi charges and hurts dozens of protesters somewhere and he will get the blame. 

Someone is refused citizenship by the CDO or those at the district administration for no good reason, he will get the blame. Prachanda will not be blamed for anything. Well, we can only blame him for 33% of the mess we are in because that's the percentage of responsibility he has taken for those killed during those 'red' days.

We wish you all the luck. Sajha and Bibekhseel got their fifteen minutes of fame but they failed to crack the national jackpot. You have received at least 10% of the PR votes and now have twenty folks in the House. 

We all know that RSP will not fade away as long as Rabi Dai is there. With due respect to all those elected RSP lawmakers but you can't deny the fact that Rabi Dai's days as so-called combative journalist helped the other winning RSP wallahs with at least 10 to 20% more votes from their constituencies.

Some folks talk about his second marriage, second time being a Nepali citizen and some even accuse him of making millions or billions from extorting byaparis and folks involved in shady deals when running his TV show. 

I don't even care. Some people think Ramesh Kharel is a very honest police wallah. Well, with due respect to Kharel Sir but we all know that to get to be even a DIG at our Nepal Police needs a lot more than medals, honesty and hard work. A cadet for officer training, well, Inspector Saheb in Nepal Police has thirty years to reach the top. 

If he or she only works hard and follows all regulation and doesn't take any bribes, the highest position he or she can achieve is the SP or SSP but his or her promotion will always be last among one's batch mates. To move a little faster, and jump the queue, our police officers have no choice but to engage in criminal activities themselves to make enough dough to pay bribes to the griha mantri and senior officers for plum postings and promotions.  Hope our new Home Minister will change all this. We need our own Anil Kapoor because we have hand thousands  of Amrish Puri. Remember that Indian movie?

And then you need to stick to a major political party and hope that party is in power or controls the Home Ministry when it is time for you to be promoted to DIG, AIG or even the number one position in the police force. 

After all it's the same police force, where former IGPs have been sent to prison and treated like dirt by their own baahaal-wallah junior police officers. It's the same police force that tried to kidnap DIG Nawaraj Silwal in broad daylight while he was still a high ranking senior police officer. He lost the race for the IGP and many have faced the same scenario.

So, Ramesh Kharel is no exception. There have been hundreds of honest and hardworking police officers who have been sidelined and denied promotion based on their merit while arse-kissing, boras of cash filling incompetent officers have managed to reach higher ranks than they had ever expected.

So, dear Home Minister. Change the Police Act while you are in power because once you are out of the Home Ministry, we all know that we will get the same corrupt politician as a Home Minister who will make hundreds of Karods while transferring or promoting police officers and senior civil servants in Nepal Police, Armed Police Force, the Immigration Department, the Prison Department and our district administration offices. 

Why do our CDOs still act like the Anchaladhees of the Panchey Days as if they are kings and queens of the district. I once even heard a CDO who was in his office, cursing at the District Police Chief, then a SP with all the foul languages imaginable because he had the courage to arrest a criminal who happened to be affiliated with the same political party as the CDO Saheb. 

Not much has changed in Nepal for the past 72 years. Those in authority continue to act like Shree Tin Sarkars and they forgot the oath they took to serve the public and not engage in corruption.

We all know that our civil servants are the number one problem for our mantris. and this country as well. These parasities, and maybe 50% of bad apples in our bureaucracy create all kinds of obstacles for our mantris and even motivate and teach our mantris to make money from the state funds.

If we were to do a survey, nearly 50% of all former and even current high ranking civil servants in our land have their kids studying or settled in Western countries and nearly a quarter of our hakim sahebs have permanent residency or green card through their children. A minister tried to change the a few years ago and then everybody forgot about it after he left office.

It's sad to see how those in government positions are the real virus in our land. When they took their Lok Sewa exams, 80% wanted to be a government employee so that they could have a stable job. 10% want to be a police officer or a diplomat or a saakha adhikrit because their father or mother were one back in the days. 10% just wanted to join because they want to make millions and billions till they reached retirement age and if lucky then bag the top position at their respective agencies and then retire and move to foreign lands to take care of their grandkids when they no longer have the power to ruin this country.

If we were to do the math, our corrupt hakim sahebs, yes, the Saw-chips and even the peons if you are at Maal Poat, Aa-yell Nee-Gum and Bhansaar, have transferred enough funds overseas to their kids, which is enough to pay our total national debt. What is it now? Must be around 15 to 16 billion Amriki dollars by now.

So instead of whining about our lazy but cunning civil servants, our House should change the laws and acts and regulations of our government agencies. Increase their pay so that they can live a decent life and take care of their families. 

Increase the retirement age to 62 and please, please do amend the Police Service Act and increase the 30-year tenure for our police wallahs to at least 62 or forty years which ever comes first. 

We are losing hardworking, experienced professional police officers at the young age of 52 to 55 due to the thirty year service rule. He or she can still contribute and are physically active until 60+. We are losing their expertise and just increasing our pension and other perks and making them stay idle at home when they still have a decade or more to contribute to their organization.

Not all police are bad but a DSP posted in Butwal and who was transferred to Kaski district and was ready and packed to move to his new posting, was arrested recently for extorting lakhs of Rupees and holding the gold of a gold trader in Butwal. 

We hear he is suspended. These kind of people should be fired, and sent to prison for two decades where he can learn how to build gold rings and other jewelry items and then can open his own gold shop after he is released from prison. And it's ironic that the guy's name is Thug Bahadur. Warning to all parents, do not name your child Thug and then expect him to turn out to be a Saint in life! 

Bahadur means brave and except for Sher Dai, everybody should have a Bahadur as a middle name but Bollywood has given it a bad name, thinking it is funny to make fun of us Nepalis. Somebody please remind them, that the Gorkha regiments in the Indian Army have fought for India so that Indians can sleep peacefully at night. 

Please give the Nepali veterans who have served your country some respect and many watchmen then in the 80s and 90s in India were either former Indian army retirees or those from the far western region of Nepal from where great loafers like Sher Bahadur get elected from and have done nothing for the hardworking folks living there. 

That's why, Sherey Dai doesn't deserve a Bahadur as his middle name. Can SherZoo couple retire from politics. Maybe, make Arzoo didi our Amriki Ambassador, after all her mom was our ambassador to Japan few years ago. 

Well, dear Home Minister, we wish you the best. You are in the same situation as Messi before the World Cup. You have no choice but to win this game. Messi was only playing football, even if he had not won the World Cup, not much would have changed. 

But you are handling the most sensitive ministry in the government. Let us hope our Home Ministry will really take care of our home and its citizens and not criminals and cadres. 

And don't forget your constituency as well. Yes, you need to take care of the law and order stuff in this whole country but don't forget the place from where you got elected as well. It's because of them you are here today. You don't need to or may not be able to make all thirty million Nepalis happy but you cannot disappoint the Chitwai baasis who believed in you and voted for you so that you could finally be a lawmaker.

You already are an inspiration to millions of folks who are living abroad who want to come back but can't because they have a mortgage to pay, or college fees or need that extra iPhone for the Mrs or the lazy drunkyard husband back home. 

Sometimes, I wonder... what if Rabi Dai never came back to Nepal and started his second stint at TV a decade ago. Where would he be? He would probably have a half-a-million dollar home in Virginia or Texas , a minivan and a luxury SUV and would be attending homecoming events at his kids' schools. Well, he said... hell with it... this is not how I would want to live till I collect my social security and a pacemaker. So, he packed his bags and came back home.

Not everyone of you who come back after decades of living or working or studying abroad, will be a lawmaker or even a mantri but please remember that when you are in power, be it a high school principal or a local chairperson of your tole upabhokta samiti, do the best you can so that when you leave, folks will always remember your good work and will say that you were the best person ever to hold that position until someone gets inspired and reaches that position and does a much better job that you did.
 
Let us all give Rabi Dai a chance and not be quick to judge him for his actions or inaction. We have been giving grumpy old men, the real pickpockets of Nepal chances after chances for the past thirty years and they have yet to change. 

So give RSP five years and vote for more of them next time if you are happy with their performance and for those who have been voting for the major political parties for the past thirty, twenty and ten years, shame on you. 

Either you are a loyal die-hard fan or cadre, which I say, respect to you but for the rest, we all know that you are a cunning card-carrying opportunist or just blind, deaf and mute with due respect to all folks with disabilities but continue to live productive lives. 

The sheep are the ones to be blamed for all the mess in this country not the wolves and fake snake charmers whose job is to shoot at us, loot from us and boot us out of this country. 

We failed to show the red card to the old chors this time, come 2027, let us hope that our old major parties will cease to exist and the Maobaddies will just dissolve into other parties. I don't know why but I get the feeling that Prachanda will finally join the RPP and then be our President in 2032. That would be a hell of a flip flop, innit?

There is light at the end of the tunnel. We got sucker-punched by these chors for the last thirty years but our kids will have a better government and a better country if we continue to elect the doers and not evil-doers to power. 

By 2032, let's hope that the Kanagroos, United Mundrey Leaders and the Khaobaddies will rest in peace. 

This is probably is or actually is the longest guffadi blog post ever.  I promise you that I will not exceed 666 words and not go on a rant with 6,666 words like this post. Long Live Nepal, Death or community service to Tyrants!
 
For complaints, send me an email at  maguffadi@gmail.com 





image source: Wikipedia