The tenth day of Dashain is finally here. Happy Vijaya Dashami to all of us. Today, we celebrate the victory of good over evil. May Goddess Durga bless us all.
We have a Madame President in office. Let's hope someday, we will have our first woman Prime Minister. And hope that may she not be like the same bunch of Prime Monsters we have had for the past thirty years since we switched to multiparty democracy system from a lonely single party Panchayati system.
Are we better off than we were thirty years ago? Well, Mercantile used to charge more than 8,000 Rupees for their dail-up internet system in the mid-90s. Now, you get high speed (not really but still better than dial-up) for less than a thousand.
Binod Chaudhary and most of the byaparis then, be it the Jyotis or other Newar and Marwari families had to make deals with the palace to mint some money.
The Marwari and Newar business houses continue to control major businesses in this country but now we have many Bhramins and Chettris, indigenious communities and even Madhesi communities giving the old school byaparis a run for their money.
Binod Chaudhary is the only billionaire listed by the Forbes List. But according to our sources, there are probably a dozen dollar billionaires in our land.
Anyways, the way Binod Dai is buying land everywhere, he will probably be known for his hotels more than Wai Wai by 2030. I have never met the man but he is more or less our Nepali Richard Branson minus the airlines.
This man started a disco back in the 80s. How cool is that? He invested in movies and other stuff and lost money on those ventures and never went back to trying creative stuff.
Well, the movie business is fickle. You never know if you get to eat an extra pickle or get hit by a sickle. If Raj Kapoor can go bust across the border then we are a small industry, so we need to be careful when investing in creative endeavors.
His brother is still following his musical passion. Maybe, they should just get rid of illegal structures at Norvic and ask permission from KMC to host musical nights for patients and their families on that government land.
Binod Dai should start his own political party now. After all, every celebrity in town seems to be opening a new political party like folks open a coffee shop in our country.
Rabi Lamichhane thinks he can do better. Rabindra Mishra tried and I guess figured out, he couldn't do diddly squat and has now decided to join RPP.
I will write about both Rabies soon...sorry meant Rabis (but plural of Rabi could be the former). Anyways, best of luck to both of them.
Balen can also start his own political party in 2027. And his followers should call themselves Balentines. And hope they won't be confused with Ballantines, that Scotch whiskey thing.
Anyways, I think we need the capitalists, social activists, anarchists and other creative folks to form their own political parties so that we can finally get rid of the the so-called visionaries who in reality have had no vision at all except for emptying the national coffer whenever they get better offers from shady contractors, con-artists and criminals so that they can maks their cousins, cadres and cronies happy.
Our so-called socialists, our Kangaroos currently led by Sheroo Dai seem to never learn from their mistakes. Time for us to send them packing. But if we were to believe his astrologer, he might be around for further stints at Baluwatar until he drops you know what.
Our so-called communists split more than atoms. I think in the past fifty years, our communists have split so many times that we should have had some kind of an atomic explosion by now. Oh! We had one... our great Maobaddies.. sorry.. meant Maobaadis.
Whatever happened to their 40-point demand? Dr. Saheb should retire and let her gold-medalist daughter take over his stuff. Prachanda is just getting started. He finally has his own house in Chitwan.
Yes, folks... hard work pays off. Be patient, it took our great comrade more than four decades to finally build his dream home. What would have happened if he had gotten a full time job with some USAID project somewhere in Rolpa or Jajarkot or anywhere instead?
Well, I don't know... that's like asking if Hitler had become a successful artist instead then things would have been different.
At the end of the day, the majority decides in a democracy and the majority of us do have a little bit of Hitler and Stalin in all of us. Yes, we are all evil hola. Let us kill our inner demons this Dashain once and for all.
It's time, we said no to our communists as well. If they were real communists then we would have gulags, famine, violent purges and what not. They are just wild capitalists trying to sell us fake Gucci bags.
And what about our so-called Monarchists? Let us feel sorry for Kamal Dai. He didn't know he was going to get hit by a freight train. He lost his Kingship of the RPP. Stop blaming Gyanu Uncle for your problems. History will be kind to the last Shah King of Nepal.
Our former Pancheys and fans of House of Shah should stop dreaming. Yes, some of us have soft spot for monarchy, but the truth is that we will never have a Maharajdhiraaj ever.
Well, we already have a new Shah in town. His name is Balen. Anyways, former Crown Princess Himani Rajya Laxmi Shah should form her own party instead and send the RPP wallahs packing.
After all, we just need to peek across the border to understand how former royal families in India have stayed relevant by becoming politicians. Who knows, we might have a first woman Prime Minister Himani Shah by 2032 AD, but it will most likely be a coalition government of artists, anarchists and adventurists.
And who would be the best choice for a President then? Our own superstar Rajesh Hamal. He is our Thalaiva, our Rajnikanth.
God bless everyone. Time for all Durgas of Nepal to rise up and pump up the volume and send the same old grumpy old men who have looted us all for the past thirty plus years, on a one-way trip to Mars. Someone please send a tweet to Elon Musk!
