P for Protocol

I think it’s time our politicians learn a thing or two about protocol when it comes to meeting officials from foreign countries. Our netas should also learn a thing or two about order of precedence so that they would not look like fools. 

With due to respect to government folks from across the border but it’s about time we all saved money by sending emails and using social media to communicate with each other rather than wasting each others’ taxpayers money by visiting Kathmandu or Delhi for a few hours of guff suff. 

Recently, we had the RAW chief in town meeting our former Prime Monsters and netas.  Let us not blame the Desis all the time. Our netas and civil servants are mostly shameless sons of seedless cucumbers who will bend backwards or anyways possible to secure educational scholarships, free medical treatment and other freebies from India whenever possible.

I think it’s time our netas and civil servants show at least an ounce of class and not beg for free lunch from our chimekis. We blame thousands of Indian beggars in our town for making our city look bad but forget about thousands of our own thulo mancheys begging for everything else from the Desis.

The media as usual made it quite a big issue when the RAW chief came calling but who really cares about the media? Our politicians, civil servants and contractors do not care what our patrakars think about them. 

They know very well that they can have it their way and nobody can do anything about it. After all, this is the land where small fishes get arrested for corruption whereas the big sharks take their money to tax havens abroad.  Just look at Rabi. The man is in custody for the death of one of his former colleague. 

Yes, the police has to carry out an investigation and hopefully we will come to a closure and we will know what really happened but it’s really tough for our media wallahs these days. Instead of writing the truth without fear or favor, our government wants our patrakars to either shut up and write nothing or face the music if they write about what’s wrong with our netas and the government.

  

And this is also the land of conspiracy theories and we Nepalese are all busy watching Youtube Videos , Facebook feeds and what not all related to Rabi. Well, Oli try to divert the matter to Rhinos and asked the world to start calling them Gaidas instead but it did not go viral as expected. 

Oli Ba is once again in Singapore and we wish him well. Get well soon and yes, let MaKuNe and Jhallu Baba share the same chair if that makes both of them happy. Just build a bigger chair to fit them two together in the next meeting if possible.

This time around, we had the Indian Minister of External Affairs Subrahmanyam Jaishankar coming to Kathmandu for some chiya and biskoot with our netas. It’s okay with such foreign officials meeting with their counterparts but why should our PM and President waste their own time trying to entertain every foreign officials who happen to visit our land? 

If the President of India comes to town then our Madame President should offer some tea. The same goes for Modi if he comes to town. But we can’t have everyone from across the border show up in the capital and get to do a photo-op with our head of state. Maybe, Modi will be kind enough to meet and greet all of our government officials when they show up in Delhi.

There is nothing wrong with our former Prime Monsters catching up with Jaishankar but instead of going to his hotel room for some guff-suff, it would have been better if Jaishankar had paid the visits to Dr Saheb’s and Deuba’s residences. Jaishankar  is not a clown like most of our netas and civil servants. The Indians do their homework very well and do what is best for their country’s interest whereas our civil servants and netas do what is best for their pockets while the country can go down the drain.

Jaishankar  was once the Foreign Secretary himself and knows how his ministry works inside and out. He last came to our land a few years ago to tell our netas that our constitution was not right and needed some fix-ups. 

Our netas said no and went ahead and then we had the blockade gift from the Desis.  Maybe, our Foreign Minister can learn a thing or two from Jaishankar.  After all, the man served as Ambassador to China for more than four years and was the Desi Ambassador to the US as well. 

I think we should ask Jaishankar to give a class to our civil servants and netas how we too can improve economic, trade and cultural relations with both China and India. And when it comes tto our folks serving in the Indian Army, our government should ask the Indians that if they go to war with Pakistan anytime soon then please do not send our brothers to fight at their borders.

It’s about time India acknowledged the fact that our people have died in numerous wars with Pakistan fighting for India to protect their land its people. So, it’s about time Indian government officials stop bragging about billions of Rupees India give us every year to help us out here and there.  

We have forty thousands of our folks serving in the Indian Army and thousands have died fighting for India. Let somebody do the math. Should India be grateful for Nepali sons fighting for them or should we be grateful for a few ambulances, scholarships and other development projects? I think we both should be grateful we have each other.

Our folks serve in the British and Indian armies and the Singapore Police Force. And the folks who have served before and even now have really not gotten the respect they deserved. It’s time Oli and his government scrapped the tripartite agreement with the British and Indian government concerning military service.

Don’t worry about few hundreds who may not get the opportunity to earn a few extra pounds or Singapore Dollar or thousands who could earn Indian Rupees if they join the Indian Army. If our government had any spine and respect for the History of the Gurkhas then we should let the UN wallahs know as well that either they hire thousands of Nepalis as permanent peace keeping force or we will leave the UN peacekeeping mission as well. 

It’s time we also dole out our own set of demands to the world instead of everybody coming to us with their list of demands. And Oli has started it all with this ‘It’s Gaida, not Rhino’ campaign. You may either like or not like himi but he is as good as it gets. 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Visit Elsewhere Except Nepal

Our Emperor and his family went to Dubai for rest and recreation because he must be tired of driving around in Kathmandu in a luxury vehicle and living in a mansion. He doesn’t even have to deal with the dhulo and mulo of Kathmandu because he rides around in a vehicle with AC turned on to the fullest. But he does need a break now and then. 

It is much easier to meet with foreign hands in foreign lands instead of receiving flak for meeting with foreign spies in one’s own homeland. Our Emperor could have never imagined that one day he would be traveling around the world either at the state’s expense or some byapari’s expenses. After all, there is such thing as free lunch but it’s only the politicians who get it while the public have to pay for everybody else’s lunch.

Oli Ba is also in Singapore for his medical treatment. When will our netas learn? I think our netas have gotten too big for their egos. They think they can get away with anything just because they have been given the mandate to rule over us for five years. I guess they sometimes forget that we were the ones who put the then Maoist party in the first place during the first Constituent Assembly and then showed them our displeasure during the second one. 

So, our Nepal Communist Party should also understand that come next election, we might not vote for them not because we like the Kangaroos or Kamal Thapa but because we just want the other chors to have some fun instead of the same ones. So don’t be surprised if Deuba gets to be our Prime Monster again with the help of our Emperor come next election. 

Nepal Rastra Bank (NRB) decreased our dollar limit when traveling abroad to US$ 1,500 from US$2,500 and want to decrease it further so that we will not travel abroad at all. But the rule doesn’t seem to apply for our netas. Our government tells us that Oli spent his own money while undergoing medical checkup in Singapore.

So, did he seek special permission from NRB to transfer funds from Nepal to Singapore? Why can’t Oli go to Mediciti or Grande or Norvic. Our former Royals seem to be okay with getting their health checkup at Norvic but our new Mini-Maharajas think Nepali hospitals are not up to the standard for their treatment.  

Oli has been to Bangkok and India for his treatment and now Singapore and who knows, he might go to the United States as well. Well, he has been there to attend the UN nataks but let’s hope he goes there for medical treatment as well. Let us hope that he will continue to spend his own money like he said he has done in Singapore. 

And I think our Emperor needs to tell us where he got the money to take his family to Dubai for vacation. Did he also take permission from NRB to take dollars out of the country or used some other channels. Well, we might just have to ask Sumargi for that. He is very good at channeling funds from here to there and back here.

There is nothing wrong with our politicians taking vacation but why go abroad and spend your own money when you can travel across the country and spend it here. Take Sita Auntie to Rara Lake. Yes, ask some byapari to pay for the helicopter ride but take her to places in our own beautiful land.  Take her to Everest Base Camp for coffee and cakes. Take her to beautiful places across the country. 

What is there in Dubai except Desert Safari, tall buildings, shopping for gold and other so-called luxury items? What is here back home in Nepal? We have everything that nature has to offer and we are still not able to promote our land like the folks in Dubai and Singapore do.  We barely get a million tourists here while Singapore and Dubai get like twenty times more folks visiting there land every year. Where did we go wrong?

Visit Nepal 2020 aims to attract 2 million tourists to Nepal. And our so-called top politicians visit foreign lands instead. Maybe Dubai and Singapore should make our netas brand ambassadors for their tourism boards. Nepal Tourism Board should come up with a new campaign telling the world that Dolpa is better than Dubai and Sauraha has more to offer than Singapore. 

We have a new Tourism Minister and hope he will listen to experts and entrepreneurs who work in  the tourism sector so that Visit Nepal 2020 will be successful as planned. And let us hope that Nepal Airlines will also fly to Frankfurt, London and Tokyo like in the earlier days. 

And I think we have enough folks in Australia and the United States to have at least one weekly flight to New York and Sydney.  And maybe we should just buy one or two Gulfstream Jet so that our Prime Minister, President and other VVIPs can travel to foreign lands in them with a small entourage and not take our national carrier and waste more money. 

Yes, get private jets for our VVIPs and when not in the service of our President or PM, these private jets can be leased out for charter flights since we have many fake VAT bill byaparis who can foot the bill for such flights as well.

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com