Friday, January 18, 2019

Break Up Song




It’ s sad to hear that Bibeksheel Sajha (BS) Party folks have decided to split up. Our political parties are good at breaking up and then making up and breaking up again to fulfill the interest of a bunch of so-called leaders and I guess Bibeksheel Sajha has met the same fate. So that means we can actually call the BS wallahs a true political party from now onwards.

Rabindra Mishra dai decided to quit his job with BBC and not make six lakhs a month so that he could start a political party and help Nepal finally become peaceful and prosperous. It is rare for someone like Mishra who holds a professional job to quit and join politics. Majority of our politicians have either never worked in their lives or have only worked for a few years before deciding that politics is better than 9 to 5 job. 

When you have a 9 to 5 job, you get a decent salary at the end of the month. It’s not enough to buy everything but only enough for dal bhaat and sometimes a kilo of masu or two. But in politics, you tend to suffer a lot at first, maybe for decades as you go hungry because you have no money and you have to go into hiding because the police wallahs would be looking for you. 

But if you are lucky then  you get to be a millionaire and even a billionaire overnight if you hit the jackpot. Look at Oli, he spent 14 years in jail and after decades and decades of suffering, he is now enjoying his time in Baluwatar. 

Look at our Emperor today. A decade long insurgency, thousands of lives lost and the man hid in India for most of the time. Today, we blame him for everything. We accuse him of amassing billions of Rupees in ill-gotten wealth with investments in media, marts, hydro and cooking gas and other stuff. But we should not be jealous of this man. 

He is just one lucky person who made it big and has managed to make a quick buck in such a short period of time that he makes the  Shree Tin Rana Uncles, the Pancheys and even the so-called Congressis look like small-time pickpockets.

Ujwal Thapa and his friends started the Bibeksheel thing so that young folks in the country could finally come together and be politically active and make Nepal peaceful and prosperous. But what Thapa and his friends must understand that just Facebooking and standing in Bagmati bridge, Maitighar or in front of the PM’s residence is not going to change things in this country. Yes, they decided to be involved politically but winning thousands of votes and coming in second or third or last is the same as losing when it comes to elections. 

Look at our comrades, they won left and right and today, they have a two-third majority after getting some of our Madhesi parties on board and they still can’t get it right. Yes, politics is not only a dirty game but it’s a tough one as well. Things won’t change overnight and just because you have the mandate to rule for the next five years doesn’t mean you can do whatever you like. Our comrades should read some history books. 

Even the powerful Rana clan had to close down shop and leave the building. Even the Pancheys had to move aside for multi-party democracy and today even folks like Oli who actually opposed Nepal becoming a federal republic is running the show. 

So if Mishra and his Sajha Party and Thapa and his Bibeksheel Party wants to run this country someday then they must understand that they need money and muscles. So my best advice to anyone who wants to form a new political party and take us to the promised land is that please be patient. Learn from our Emperor and Oli. It took our Maoists a decade to get where they are today. 

It took Oli two. So it takes time, most probably a decade before your political party can win seats and be a national party. Of course, people like Mishra and Thapa are not going to the jungle and do not have the courage to extort from byaparis like Biplab dai. 

So, a new political party should first get as many folks as possible to become a paid up members of the party and then go on a fundraising drive by visiting all the byapari sanghs in all the districts in the country. You cannot fight a national election unless you have at least a hundred crore in your party’s bank account. 

Yes, forget the provinces because our bureacrats and those in power have made it so that our Chief Ministers have less than power than a CDO of a district. National is the way to go and if you can win big in the federal parliament then you get to run the show like Oli and Prachanda gets to do it for now.

And for now and maybe until another decade or two, you also need muscles to sometimes show your strength. But that doesn’t mean you need to hire mundreys but your paid up members need to be experts in martial arts so that when you are carrying out andolans, your cadres have the skills to protect themselves from cadres of other parties and our cops as well. When they come down with laathis and boots then you need some skills to defend yourself. Why not ask the Israeli Embassy for a few hundred Krav Maga specialists? 

During the Panchey days, most of the muscles were provided by those involved in martial arts sports in the national level. After that, we had mostly toley gundas turning into mundrey gundas who were politically affiliated with our netas. But folks like Bibeksheel and Sajha should organize self-defense workshops for their own cadres because the national political scene is filled with criminals who would not hesitate to use force to scare others. 

Anyways, let us hope that both Bibeksheel and Sajha will do their best to win the hearts and minds of the young and old, progressive and experienced and make it big in national politics someday and finally get to run the show and make our land peaceful and prosperous for real. Jai Hos!


Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Friday, January 4, 2019

In the Name of Politics





It seems that one can get away with murder, win election, go into hiding and meet the country’s Prime Monster in a foreign land and then come back, surrender, stay in jail and then take the oath of office as one of our lawmakers and then go back to jail and wait for the government to hopefully withdraw the case soon. How one earth can a person who is in jail take the oath of office as a member of the House? It seems that our netas do not need to follow the laws of the land. 

After all, this is New Nepal where anything is possible as long as you do it in the name of politics. Yes, one of our Madhesi neta is right when he says our Emperor and his so-called movement killed thousands of civilians and security personnel and he gets to be our Prime Monster and the government treats Resham dai as a criminal. 

This is wrong. Resham dai should not be in jail. He should be freed and at least be made a mantri. Yes, let us not feel sorry for the police wallahs who lost their lives in Tikapur. We have not felt sorry for our security personnel who died during the so-called civil war, why feel sorry for Tikapur or for any such incidents that may occur in the future?

I think Nepal Police gets a bad rap for all the problems in this land. Let us not blame the police wallahs for the missing 33kg gold because our gold smugglers have the power and the money to transfer our police officers and even block their promotions because we all know very well that our netas have taken a cut from these smugglers. 

We now can also suspect that the people involved in the ‘Nirmala’ murder case are powerful folks and they are being protected by our netas as well. Nepal Police can solve criminal cases with very minimal resources but they seem to be hopeless in these two big cases that has rocked the country since last year. Our IGP Saheb is already tired and seem to be handcuffed by political pressure to do nothing. Let us feel sorry for him.

Once again, Nepal Airlines is in the news and our current mantri, the previous ones and hakim sahebs seem to be involved in taking home billions of Rupees as commissions for buying the planes. This is not a new story. We all know that our netas, hakim sahebs and con artists need the commissions whenever our government buys anything be it planes, notebooks or pens. 

This is the land where the government is broke but our civil servants and our netas make billions of Rupees and invest their ill-gotten wealth in apartments, gas stations and other real estate projects in the West. And here at home, they do invest in media, mega marts and mansions but in the name of their wives, cousins and even drivers. But at the end of the day, our mantris rarely go to jail except a few . Our hakim sahebs rarely go to jail except a dozen and the nation loses billions of dollars every year from corruption by these chors .

Oli Ba is not having a good year. He should have consulted an astrologer like Deuba does. Maybe he should have allowed Prachanda, our great Emperor to head the first part of their show instead. Today, Oli looks like a con artist while our Emperor looks like a saint because he doesn’t have to take any responsibility of the nataks of this government yet. 

In a year and half, our Emperor will once again be our Prime Monster. Let us see how he performs when he gets to live in Baluwatar for the third time. Will he be a changed man and finally see the light? Nope. He will just be the same and will do all he can to help his cadres, cousins and contractors. After all, he is a politician and not a social worker. He is not here to change this country for good. He is just another politician who has come this far by selling us his dream which has turned into a nightmare and will haunt us for many decades to come.

Let us not blame Oli or Prachanda or Deuba for the problems in this land. Let us blame India because it’s easy to blame our chimeki than blame ourselves. If it were not for the Desis, we would still be under the Shree Tins. We would have a thousand more palaces in the valley and we could now turn it into boutique hotels and earn millions from tourists. 

We could still have been under the rule of House of Shah if it were not for our chimeki. Gyanu Uncle would still be gracing the Jatras in the valley and some of us would still brag about our ‘Gorkha Dakshin Bahu’. If it were not for the Desis then we would not have our Prachanda Emperor or our great blockade nataks that benefited no one. 

Yes, the road to Singha Durbar is not in Dilibazar but in Delhi. When Delhi decides, our netas reconcile but when we the people take to the streets and demand justice for Nirmala, our netas tell us that we are stooges of the opposition or foreign hands. Maybe, we should all go to Delhi, and carry out our protest programs there and only then our government will have the courage to take action against their own cadres, cousins and contractors.


Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com