A Big Mistake!

Let us thank our Oli government for hosting the 4th BIMSTEC Summit here at Kathmandu and making our lives miserable for a few days.  Was it a big mistake to host the summit here when we could have used the money spent to at least help those affected by the floods and landslides in the country? 

I think our government should not host any international summit for a decade until we finally become a prosperous nation as promised by our greatest communist government on Earth.  Then, we can even prepare ourselves to host the Olympics and then the World Cup and waste billions of dollars for those events. But for now, let us not waste our funds and shut down our schools and offices just to show our foreign guests that all is okay in the capital.

It's really about time our incompetent government shifted the capital as well as the international airport so that they can host their summits somewhere else. Our domestic planes do not have enough parking space at TIA and consumers have to wait for hours or even half a day to take a plane to other destinations in the country. TIA has to deal with cracked runways and inefficient management. 

I think our civil servants follow the formula of not fixing up things until it is broken. We are not into taking preventive measures but only taking action after things break down and taking our own time to finish the task. Look at our roads in the valley. It's been years since the government began the road widening project and it might take a decade before we finally get to be a dust-free city.  

Until then, we just have to buy gas masks, sturdy gum boots and even portable rafts because our Department of Roads blame the contractors while the contractors blame the common folks not tearing down their homes while the common folks just put up with all the nataks and go on with their daily lives.

And it’s about time our thulo mancheys seriously thought about moving the capital to a new place. Just ask the guys from Myanmar. They seem to be experts when it comes to shifting the capital from one place to another. Who cares if the new capital leads to nowhere? At least, our politicians, civil servants and contractors can make a bundle to build a new city. 

BIMSTEC is an international organization of seven nations with a population of 1.5 billion folks. If our civil servants had done their homework then we would be promoting Lumbini, Everest and other tourist destinations to a billion potential tourists through their head of states. But no, our government was busy fixing our roads in the capital and didn't have time for promoting this beautiful country. 

We could have hosted the summit at Lumbini and the valley residents wouldn’t have to stay home or spend hours to get to their offices. Our incompetent government thinks that closing down schools and placing an odd-even driving nataks will help them to show our visitors that Kathmandu is indeed a beautiful city. 

It was a  beautiful city years ago but we have to thank our civil servants for destroying this valley. If only our municipality wallahs had done their job then we would not have to waste  billions in the road widening project in the first place. If only our hakim sahebs had done their homework then our fertile lands would not turn into concrete jungles. 

Let us thank our government for cutting down trees in the name of road widening projects. Yes, while the rest of the world  is going green and European netas ride around in bicycles, our government is busy promoting just the opposite.  Yes, let us welcome more pollution, corruption and frustration in New Nepal. 

A Chinese Swami once said that if you are a rich person in a poor nation the you must be ashamed of yourself. But here in this beautiful land of ours, our corrupt evil doers who ride around in luxury vehicles and waste our government funds to fund their lifestyle stand tall with heads held high while law-abiding hard working citizens bow down their heads to make sure that they don't break their ankles while walking in the valley. 

Well, the BIMSTEC natak is over and we can now go on to our usual routine but it would be better if our Oli government continued the odd-even driving nataks in the valley forever. We can cut down a little bit on pollution. We can save a few Rupees on fuel we import from India. 

And whatever happened to the cycle lanes in the city. Our chor netas and lazy civil servants think fast cars and metro rails will make us modern. But even Western researchers now tell us that it is better for our health to squat and finish our business rather than using the Western-style sit natak! 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Ban Everything

I think we should stop criticizing Oli and his courtiers for not being able to do anything good for this country in the past six months. Oli has managed to visit India and China and if all goes as planned we will have trains from Kerung to Kolkata and ships from India. 

Forget about making billions from our hydropower. Oli is a man with a master plan. He dreams of selling our Himalayan water and we need ships to transport it to other countries. 

Yes, we might not be able to get clean drinking water here at home but we can make billions of dollars by selling our water to the bideshis. That happens with almost everything. We sell our good-quality agricultural products across the border while we import cheaper substandard stuff. 

Our government thinks allowing our byaparis to build cement factories is what will make us prosperous but what our thulo mancheys fail to understand is that they are instead polluting our air and the residents nearby these factories will breather in harmful chemicals. Just ask the old folks living in Chovar area when our government cement factory was in operation then. 

Our greatest communist government on Earth still has  a good four and half years to go and they can take their time to take this country down the drain. Well, if things go as planned then Oli will get to spend another two years at Baluwater before he heads for Benaras. 

Oli claims to be a political yogi and maybe it's time he became a religious one as well. But of course, communists are a different lot. They do not believe in God. It’s okay to believe that you are one of the God's chosen people but our comrades believe that they are God! 

We have new laws in town and instead of going after the corrupt, kidnappers, murderers and rapists, our incompetent government thinks it's a good idea to go after the media. I think our media wallahs should stop publishing pictures of our thulo mancheys. Stop reporting about where our netas went to cut ribbons and waste our taxpayers money.  

Just publish pictures of landslides, floods, potholes. At least you don't need to ask permission to take such pictures. But this government might come up with a new law that prohibits anybody from publishing picture of any places in this country without seeking permission from the government.

I think our government should ban Facebook and other forms of social media in this country. Just go ahead and ban the Photoshop software as well. That would at least prevent some of our traitors from imposing pictures of our netas with other animals and going to jail for it. 

We must congratulate Nepal Police for doing a great job going after folks using social media to bitch and whine about our politicians.  Yes, it shows that our men and women in blue also use Facebook excessively like half of our folks in this country. 

Our government fails to place a ban on plastic bags. It can't even clear the garbage in the valley and yet it collects garbage tax. Our roads are crumbling and yet our government collects billions of Rupees in taxes from our vehicles.

Oli and his courtiers want to make Nepal government the best in the world by not sharing information with the public. That way, we won't even know what our government is up to and our politicians can make more money from other chors without having to worry about reading about it in our papers. 

Our young children are raped across the country. Our citizens protest against the negligence of our police wallahs. And what does our government do? They shoot at the protestors. Yes, use the laathis and then the tear gas and rubber and real bullets. 

Our martyrs have died in vain. The fake prophets are leading this country to ruin while they falsely claim to be working hard to make this country prosperous. We all know who is making all the illegal money in this land.  And it's not you and me. We are honest, law-abiding citizens of this land. We pay our taxes even though we don’t like it because it is our duty  as citizens to pay up or get prevented from getting the services required from the government. 

Our netas, civil servants and other thulo mancheys make 'chiya kharcha' on the side. It's not your cup of tea or a plate of momo stuff. Our thulo mancheys extort from common citizens, service seekers, contractors, and their own peers. 

If somebody sits down and does the math then we would not be surprised if we found out that our evil doers make more money than our national budget through corruption in a year. So, if this government is really serious about eradicating corruption in this land then Oli should start from his own party. Be an example to the rest of us. 

But that will not happen because if Oli really goes after his own mantris and cadres then he will be out of power and forced to Benaras from Baluwatar in a day. 

Yes, we have a mafia running this nation and except for Dr. KC, no one is brave enough to stand up and fight. Even our poor Home Minister is helpless. Yes, the man is poor because he has only twenty thousand Rupees in the bank and two dogs and all other stuff belongs to his spouse like every other netas in town. 

Our Home Minister cannot fight against the shady contractors or trigger-happy cops or anyone who is connected to the 'big sharks'. We still don’t know who are the big sharks because then that would violate the privacy of our chors. And Nepal Police should stop making a fool of itself by arresting that guy from the other Maoist party every time our court sets him free. 

Leave the poor man alone. Don't file charges for all the nataks his party has done recently on one man. We all know that at the end of the day, our Home Minister will one day offer him a glass of juice. We should request our thulo mancheys to stop faking it.

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Crime and Punishment

Let us congratulate our government for introducing the new civil and criminal code to replace the laws when Junga Bahadur was around. It’s funny that Janga Bahadur still stares at Singha Durbar while our so-called republican lads want to do away with anything related to the House of Shah. The only institution that still wants to give respect to the House of Shah is our Nepal Army.  

Prithivi Narayan Shah still gets respect by our Generals. But of course, somebody must have forgotten to remind them that in New Nepal, our President is the commander in chief. But it's a good thing that at least some of us don't want to forget our past. And our politicians need to understand that as well.

It's about time our incompetent government figure out a way to bring our great army under civilian control because our police chiefs spend their days in Dillibazar for corruption cases but our Generals make more and nobody can touch them. We want a professional army led by honest officers. We don't want our army to be a construction company led by contractors. 

We know that we  are not going to war with China or India anytime soon. It's about time our politicians had the courage to think about how to cut down our APF and Nepal Army personnel and make it lean but highly professional forces. Maybe, we can go the 'Costa Rica' way or just ask the UN wallahs to make our security forces get paid by the blue-plate wallahs as rapid reaction force to be deployed in conflict zones anywhere anytime.

Things were different then when only one family had all the fun. Today, we have hundreds of Shree Tins having fun and with provinces and what not, let us expect more freeloaders to enjoy the loot. But in the past hundred and fifty years, little has changed when it comes to the laws of the land. 

Our Dalits are banned from entering temples and using public water taps. Our women are still tortured by ignorant fools by accusing them of being witches. Many of our sisters are burned and attacked with acid by their in-laws and husbands for failing to bring in enough dowry as per the demand of the evil doers. Many women have to spend nights in 

We will have to wait and see if our government is serious enough to implement the laws of the land. We all know that our lawmakers are the real lawbreakers and the police, the courts and the government only want to punish the common folks while the thulo mancheys get away with everything. 

This is the land where Lokman can offer Karods of Rupees to other thulo mancheys to try to save his job. Well, he failed but there must have been some sort of a deal to get him appointed as the head of the CIAA then. 

Our thulo mancheys heading the security forces all seem to make Kaords of Rupees. It's the same with our hakim sahebs heading other government agencies. A low-level accountant at a municipality somewhere can steal Karods of Rupees .Now, just do the math and let us imagine how much our netas and hakim sahebs make when they are in the 'hot' kurchi!

So when will our corrupt netas, civil servants and other chors finally face the punishment for their crimes? Yes, we do have honest politicians, police officers and public officials as well but there are dime a dozen in the land ruled by thousands of pickpockets. 

The new laws now make it tough for folks like you and me to spy against our own country while our hakim sahebs and netas have been doing just that for ages. Our thulo mancheys can supply sensitive information regarding national interest and get chiya kharcha, scholarships and gift hampers from foreign embassies. 

Will our Oli government go after the real traitors or only after those who are opposed to the government's authoritarian nataks? Our greatest communist government on Earth not only wants to restrict our right to h peaceably and freedom of speech but also wants to do away with the freedom of the press, religion and many more.

Oli and his courtiers tell us that we should be proud of them for having achieved so much in the past five months. But this government has yet to fix the roads in the capital and has done nothing to minimize the loss of lives and property during the monsoon season. 

Yet, it boasts about things planned for the future. Modi has promised a manned space natak by 2020 while we are still talking about railway lines from Kerung to Kolkata. Somebody needs to hire a geography teacher to brief our PM and his fellow mantris to teach them about our terrain. 

Most of us know that it is not impossible but very difficult to get trains running from one chimeki's land to another.  Not much problem from Kathmandu to Kolkata but the Chinese side poses lot of risks.

So, let us forget about railways lines, shops and metro stations in the capital for now. Just fix our roads in the capital. Make our highways safer. Give us clean drinking water, well-managed sewages and end mafias in food, education, medical and transportation sector. We cannot applaud on empty stomachs and empty pockets. 

Dear Oli Dai, we the people are being ripped off by our byaparis everywhere. We, the people are extorted by our civil servants for the government services we seek. We, the people have to pay more taxes and yet get no respect at all. And yet you claim to be working for the people. 

Yes, they are working for the 300 byaparis while making the lives of 30 million Nepalis miserable. So, let us not expect much from our netas, both ruling and those without power for now. They are all the same blood sucking parasites.  They will continue to suck us dry till there is nothing left. 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

The Death of Justice

We live in a 'New' Nepal where we slowly turning our backs on the rule of law and heading to the rule of the jungle. Well, our rebels have left the jungle and are now major power players.  A decade of tasting 'power' has turned our rebels into the same old corrupt politicians they vowed to take action against during their 'jungle fever' days. Now, who really wants to go back to the jungle?

But it seems that our police wallahs really do want to go back to the jungle instead. And that's what happened a few days ago when two kidnappers were shot to death by our men in blue! Yes, in this land of ours, you don't need to be arrested and taken to the court. 

Our policewallahs can decide on the spot what to do with you. They don’t need to be afraid of the courts, media or the general public. It seems that in this land where we don't have a death penalty, our police wallahs can just take out their guns and fire a dozen times and end your life without being proven guilty by the courts.

Yes, those two young men were wrong and they should have faced the law instead of facing a gun. Some may feel that justice has been served and the law of retaliation is the way to go. But we have to be careful because one day, they will also come for us, the ordinary law-abiding, hardworking citizens who may somehow piss of one of our police wallahs and then we might be taken to the jungle as well.

Our police wallahs think that 'encounter' is the way to go when it comes to lawbreakers. Yes, a lot of us did applaud when our mundrey dons were shot to death a few years ago. But in the rule of law, even mundrey dons, corrupt politicians and common citizens are all subject to the law. 

And it doesn’t matter if you are a chor thulo manchey or a common citizen, if you break the law then you must face the music if not then you should not be harassed or shot to death. Even if you break the law, the men in blue do not have the right to hand out a death sentence and then ask their firing squad to end your life.

And in this age of social media and Nepalis having access to bideshi crime shows on cable TV, our police wallahs can no longer fool us with their silly excuses. Stop planting home-made pistols in the hands of those shot to death by our police. 

Our brave cops are great sharp shooters and know how to not get in the harm's way when it comes to fighting back our criminals. In Nepal, it's always the criminals who fire first and our cops then have to fire back in self-defense and our criminals are then killed and that's about it.

When it comes to the case of dons like Chari and Ghaite, we all know that without political blessings, our cops cannot go after the criminals. It's our politicians who used the muscles of those dons and even made money off them and when they became too big for their boots, they were killed with the help of our security personnel. But the recent case of two painters turned kidnappers is different. 

Our prayers are with the family of the eleven-year old victim but the two young men should have been taken to jail and Nepal Police would have at least had the chance to to study these two men and come up with a report on why young lads break the law in hopes of making a quick buck. 

Nepal Police could use the information to create public awareness campaigns to help people to not share their financial matters to others and even teach our kids some sort of skills which will come in handy when facing such situations.

Our government tells us that it will investigate the so-called fake encounter by our Nepal Police. Our Home Minister will create a taskforce and will finally punish the trigger happy cops just like he has managed to punish the shady contractors.  

A child is dead because two young men thought they could make quick cash by asking for ransom. Our police wallahs failed to do their job of going after the kidnappers even though two different teams from different departments had mobilized hundreds of cops. Yes, not all operations are successful but our police wallahs do their job most of the time with limited resources and manpower. 

But who gives our cops the right to enforce capital punishment in this land when our constitution strictly prohibits making laws that provides for capital punishment?  But who really cares about our constitution anyway?  

After all, we have a great government that makes mockery of our justice system now and then. A person convicted of murder by the court is set free thanks to presidential pardon but two men who were yet to face the court are shot to death.  

The job of Nepal Police is to arrest criminals not execute them. Dear IGP Saheb, when will we not be afraid of Nepal Police or should we just run for our lives when we see our men and women in blue walking down the street?

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

The Chinese are Coming !

Let us congratulate our Social Welfare Council wallahs for signing an agreement with a Chinese NGO network to allow more than twenty of their NGOs to come to this country and do their thing. It seems that somebody really wants to make the Chinese happy in any way possible in hopes of getting Dashian Kharcha this year. 

Yes, our bideshis do hand out not only scholarships and funds for elections but special kharcha to our netas, civil servants and so-called VVIPs in this land. So it’s not only the Chinese and the Desis who hand out freebies to our thulo mancheys. Other bideshis invite our nincompoops to visit their lands for conferences which amount to actually nothing but free vacation and shopping vouchers for our clowns!

Our great communist government on Earth thinks that it will win some brownie points from the Chinese if it allows Chinese NGOs to operate in Nepal. But the reality is that the Chinese really don’t care much about what happens here because they have other priorities in mind like taking over Taiwan by 2030 and probably the world by 2040 and colonizing Mars by 2050.  

And what plans does our government have for our country for the next decade or two? Nothing!  Yes, our politicians, civil servants and so-called experts are all in it to make some moolah while they can while they have no love for this country and its people.  

This is the land where justices, ambassadors and other political appointments go to the highest bidder and quotas are set aside for political parties. No wonder, we get justices with fake academic certificates and we get to send folks with the dough as ambassadors to foreign lands.

Our netas get together to work hard to make our contractors richer and fatter while this country goes down the drain. And it will be like the days of our great grandfathers and grandmothers when they used to walk for days to reach Kathmandu. With the current state of our roads and highways, we will all have to walk for days to reach the other parts of the country thanks to the shoddy works by our slimy contractors! 

Our government is not ashamed of itself to see citizens suffering across the country and here in the capital as well during the monsoon season. It seems that our thulo mancheys do really live in a bubble and unless we ban vehicles of mantris and VVIPs from our roads, not much will change in this land. 

Yes, our netas really need to go out there and walk our roads and see for themselves how our contractors have failed us all. But of course, contractors make our corrupt clowns and lazy civil servants happy with the commissions. And who cares about common citizens who can offer nothing but want to protest against bad government, bad roads and all that's bad in this land of ours?

Instead of only trying to make the Chinese happy, our comrades can do us all a favor if we ask NGOs from all over the world to have their presence here. How about one bideshi NGO in partnership with our own domestic NGO help our wards and villages across the country?

Our government tells us that we have more than two hundred INGOs running their show in this country. I think it's about time Oli uncle come up with a new policy to manage both INGOs and domestic NGOs. Yes, please scrap your proposed National Integrity Policy (NIP) which is more like restricting and controlling the activities of NGOs so that the government can extort chiya kharcha later on. 

Let's have a new policy and call it the 'One MP One INGO' policy. We have 165 elected MPs through the 'give notes to everyone  and buy votes' system and another 110 more through the 'give notes to the party and be a MP' system. Let us forget about the PR wallahs for now and have the single-member constituency wallahs tie up with one INGO to do some good for his or her own constituency. 

Yes, one constituency will get one INGO and then we can have our hundreds of domestic NGO partnering with the bideshi to improve the lives of the poor and the underprivileged in their constituency. So, instead of allowing bideshi donors to run wild and everywhere, let us ask them to focus only on one constituency at a time. 

Yes, help our government and local authorities to provide free education, basic health care, clean drinking water and other essential stuff instead of paying your own bideshi consultants half the money and then throwing peanuts to our local NGOs.

We have more than 40,000 NGOs in this land and it's about time, our government set a minimum amount to be spent in the community by our local NGOs as well. We hear that most of the so-called 'dollar farms' are run by intellectuals affiliated with our great Nepal Communist Party.  

But nobody knows why the mother party wants to crack down domestic NGOs in this land when they get lot of freebies from their own cadres who run these NGOs. 

If our government is really serious about making this country great then instead of wasting billions of Rupees on public schools and health posts and other development works through their own or contractors, give the money to local NGOs and let them run the show. 

Maybe, the local community will be better at running its own schools, health posts and even bus routes than our lazy civil servants, chor byaparis and good for nothing local netas.

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com