Hold Your Tongues!

We all know where this country is heading when we have sexist folks like our former Law Minister and the mundrey byapari who has studied only until the 8th grade but has managed to amass a fortune worth hundreds of Karods are engaged in politics. 

Not all ministers are well educated or joined politics to serve the people but if you are the Law Minister then first you should know a thing or two about legal matters. You cannot just attend a program for SEE students and then say such degrading stuff like how our daughters have to sell themselves to be medical doctors. And you really don't have to be a PhD wallah to know that you should not accuse anybody of anything unless you have the evidence to back up your claims.

If whatever our mantri said was true then our Oli government should have sent a high-level delegation to Bangladesh to ask the government there to investigate such matters. But here in this great land of ours, our thulo mancheys can speak whatever they like because they know that they can get away with it.  

Sher Bahadur Tamang has resigned but he still acts like it was no big deal and he was speaking the truth about women who study medicine in Bangladesh. We hear that Oli uncle asked him to resign and if that’s how our ministers continue to act then most probably, we will have new ministers every month. 

And Oli has also promised to dismiss his mantris if they don't know how to use laptops for the cabinet meetings. Yes, buy all our mantris laptops from Apple and waste our taxpayers money when you can get cheaper laptops for less than two-third.  And will our mantris return the laptop back to the government when they are done being mantris or will be used by their near and dear ones?

Durga Prasai, a former mundrey and now a byapari tells our patrakars that female students are raped by Professors in foreign lands. He is not a public figure and doesn't have to resign from any position but where are our women organizations and Ama Samuhas who seem to not care how men in this land can go around degrading our women? 

It doesn't matter if you belong to the same political party but it's a shame that women leaders and cadres from our greatest communist party on Earth are silent when our comrades tell lies to the world about female students studying medicine in Bangladesh. Where are our young women netas like Bina Magar, Nabina Lama and Ramkumari Jhakri?  Why do they remain silent when their own comrades act like ignorant sexist buffoons? 

Durga Dai is a success story Nepali-style but not due to hard work and perseverance but due to gundaraj and then close association with so-called thulo netas of a political party. This is the guy who claims to have been beaten teachers and many others in his youth. 

He tells us that this country owes him a great deal because he was able to unite two great leaders of two different communist parties by feeding them 'Marsi' rice. Yes, he should get a medal from our President next year and if he happens to go to jail in the future then get a Presidential pardon as well. Yes, anything is possible in this Republic where our politicians care more about three dozen byaparis rather than thirty million people. 

It doesn’t matter if you are a high school dropout or hold two PhDs. You can be successful in life without the need of any academic certificates. But Durga is a man who doesn’t know how to speak but acts like your neighborhood mundrey don. How on Earth did this man amass such wealth in less than a decade that he now runs a medical and teaching hospital  in Jhapa?

Yes, we are happy that Dr KC has ended his hunger strike for now. Our incompetent government waited nearly a month before agreeing to meet our crazy authoritarian doctor's demands. But we will have to see if this government will keep its promises or will once again show its true colors.  

Dear Oli dai, if you say you are a communist then be a true communist. Why on Earth should the government buy off private hospitals? If we are a nation run by great communists then we should all get free healthcare, free education and also a free visit to the neuro hospital for Durga Dai!

Oli tells us that he is not happy with INGOs, NGOs and foreign missions interfering in our domestic policies. I think someone should remind our Prime Monster that bideshis will continue to interfere in our country because our politicians beg for everything from them while common folks go overseas and earn a few Ringgits and Dinars by working instead of begging.

We expected a lot from this government. And what have we gotten so far? We are now more than happy to pay more taxes on everything while we get nothing in return. Yes, we need to feed the hungry 884 great lawmakers in this land and many more civil servants once our provinces get their things in order. 

Welcome to New Nepal, where you will continue to pay double and triple the taxes while getting not even a paisa worth of development works in your area. So don’t blame the government for everything and expect them to fix up this country.  Just buy raincoats and gumboots and be safe and stay at least 100 feet away from Durga Dai! 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Police Gone Wild!

Somebody needs to tell our government that it's not a good idea to use tear gas, laathis and boots and even bullets against students, nurses and doctors inside a hospital. It's not right to use any kind of force against common citizens at all but who will tell our chors who are in power? Our clowns know nothing but how to loot and shoot at ordinary Nepalis . And it's about time our police wallahs act like decent human beings and not like wild rabid savages.

Why can't our politicians understand that no regime has succeeded by beating up protestors and or even shooting at them? If you could continue to rule forever only by force than we would still have the Shree Tins run wild in Kathmandu. 

Our politicians of today were once victims of police brutality too but I guess they seem to forget the past when they are now drunk with power. Instead of reforming the police force, our government continues to use our men and women in blue as their person security guards. And our police wallahs seem to have not changed at all since the days of the Pancheys. Well, the color of their dress changed from khaki to blue but their attitude has not changed at all. We, the people are more afraid of our cops than the local toley gundas.

Our police wallahs should also understand that we now live in a new 'social media' age. Police brutality will not help the government and our security agencies at all. It only makes our government look stupid and tells the whole 

world that this country is being run by savages.  

Our police wallahs really need to attend classes on non-violence and how to get things done with minimal force and not use foul languages and physically and sexually abuse protestors.  We want our politicians to think like Mahatma 

Gandhi and not like our toley Mundrey Gunda! 

We want Oli to be our Mandela. Oli may have spend half the time in jail than Mandela but instead of being a uniter, Oli wants to make sure that only byaparis and mafia make tons of money in this land while the government and the people go broke.

Our greatest communist government on Earth is now acting like mafia dons. Now, our government is into kidnapping citizens as well. Dr KC went to Jumla to carry out his hunger strike. Our clowns eat rice from Jumla but don't want to open a government run medical school in rural areas. Instead, they want to provide affiliation to medical schools run by the byaparis because then our netas will receive millions of Rupees in kickbacks. That's how the system works in this land of ours. 

Why is our government afraid of this crazy authoritarian doctor?  Why do you need to use excessive force to abduct a doctor from Jumla? Our Prime Monster Oli tells us that the opposition wallahs are playing with Dr KC's life but it's actually the other way around. 

Our incompetent totalitarian government is the one who doesn't care about KC or his demands. The government tells us that it has the right to award licenses to new medical schools across the country and the report prepared by the Mathema Commission does not have to be implemented at all. Yes, the government is right. We have had many commissions formed by successive governments on almost everything. 

We still have not punished those who used excessive force during the peoples' movement over the years. Kamal Thapa, our Home Minister then under Gyanu Uncle's show is still around and playing politics. Former chiefs of our security agencies did not face any punishment at all. Many corrupt politicians and civil servants of the past continue to have fun till this day. And where on earth is our Lokman Dai? 

Our IGP saheb needs to teach our men and women in blue to practice restrain and use songs and dance and poems to work it out with the protestors instead of cracking skulls and breaking spines of innocent folks. Yes, our security personnel tell us that they only follow orders from the high above. 

But at the end of the day, one should also follow the orders from someone higher than our thulo mancheys. Yes, how can our police wallahs beat up protestors indiscriminately and then sleep soundly at night? Well, this is the land where our corrupt politicians sell this country to the highest bidder and sleep peacefully while the country burns.

Our Prime Monster Oli tells us that no one is above the law and our constitution. Yes, he is right. But I guess he forgot to tell us that even our lawmakers should not bend our constitution and break the law left and right. This is the government that has no shame in asking the President to pardon a convicted murderer. And the President does so willingly without thinking about how it will affect the way this country is run in the future.

This is the government that tells us that Dr KC is a fool and he is just a tool of our opposition parties. Our Congressis are no better than our communists. So, our Kangaroos can carry out their andolans as long as they want and we, the people really don't care much about them because they have shown us how low they too can stoop when in power. 

Dr. KC is not a tool of our opposition wallahs. He is a one-person army who has the courage to take on the system. He is clean like the water from the Himalayas. And Oli should stop dreaming about exporting clean mineral water from our mountains for now and instead focus on providing clean drinking water to all Nepalis.

Most of our political parties are actually circus companies run by clowns. But the real clowns make us cry and laugh and we enjoy their act for an hour or two but our 'political' clowns only make us cry and their misdeeds affect not only us today but the generations to come as well. It’s been nearly three decades since we got to know our current batch of thieves. It's about time the youth of our political parties finally rebel and show the old and unscrupulous fogeys the door. 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Heil Oli!

It seems that our incompetent government can't get anything right. We expected Oli and our Emperor to work together to make this country great and make us all prosperous. But it seems that our great comrades had no intention to do anything for the people in the first place. Instead, our comrades were only interested to help their byapari friends while ignoring the demands of the ordinary citizens. 

Our government promised to end the 'syndicate' system in our transport sector but instead transferred the hakim saheb who wanted to get rid of the 'transport mafia' in the country. The mantra who also happens to be the brother-in-law of so-called richest NRN has even called byaparis and assured them that they will not be arrested. That's how our system works. When a mantri protects chor byaparis then how can honest civil servants take any action against them?

Our Home Minister promised to crack down on slimy contractors but has failed to take action against those who are close to our Emperor and the man in Baluwatar. Instead, our government is busy kidnapping a doctor for not helping our former rebel soldiers to get fake medical reports while a Professor is prevented from going abroad for a conference and instead asked to spend a few hours in Baluwatar so that he can miss his flight. 

Our Oli government is in a hurry to get rid of all 'Congressi' appointees so that they can get their own 'Communist' pals on board. After all, most of our government agencies are money making machines for our political parties. So if your cousin is appointed to head any of our government agency then be confident that he or she will have to earn millions for the political parties or else no thulo jobs the next time around.

Our politicians make money from lucrative postings and promotions of our government officials. Our sarkari hakim sahebs who are appointed in the 'khaney' places are there not because they are honest and competent but because they have managed to give boras of cash to the mantri's personal aide (PA). Yes, our mantris do not take bribes personally. Their PA does the job of taking the money while the mantri only has to sign the file that helps to dole out funds to con artists, government contracts to slimy contractors and lucrative postings and promotions to laz y but loaded civil servants.

Our Oli government doesn't care about the hunger strikes staged by Dr KC and Ganga Maya because these folks do not matter. The lives of ordinary citizens do not matter to this government. Our Home Minister is busy offering juice to the person who is behind the murder of police personnel in Tikapur while our police wallahs can do nothing but salute the same chors.  How will we motivate our civil servants when they know very well that this country is being run by a bunch of pickpockets?

This greatest communist government on earth is not even prepared to deal with the monsoon madness that displaces thousands of families every year. Hundreds of Nepalis lose their lives in floods and landslides every year but our government officials do not prepare our security forces to deal with natural disaster. This government like the previous ones is silent when it comes to the flood in the plains. 

We know very well that some of the areas could be saved if we had an open communication channel with the Desis across the border. But it seems that our politicians can talk about nationalism and sovereignty all day but are quiet when our border areas are encroached upon and our plains are flooded due to the barrages and embankments across the border. Our politicians lack the courage to face India and work with the Desis to minimize the floods. We could save lives, homes and billions of Rupees in losses if our civil servants met their counterparts across the border to work out a plan to make sure that lives and property are saved from floods every year.

Now, we finally get to see rafts in Bhaktapur. It's about time, we just flood the streets of Kathmandu and be the 'Venice' of the East. We don't have to breathe in fumes, dust and other harmful particles if our roads turn into canals and instead of the buses and other vehicles, we can all take the boats to work every day. 

Yes, and we don't have to worry about traffic jams whenever our dear President has to take a ride out of the President's House. I think our President, Prime Monster and mantris should not be inaugurating conferences and other silly events. We could save millions of Rupees in chiya kharcha, transportation, fuel and security if we managed to cut down on such ribbon-cutting events for our thulo mancheys. 

Instead of spending billions of dollars on fuel and vehicles every year, let us get boats and rafts for the valley residents. And we could even have a mini hydropower from all the water in the valley. So, let us all block the drains we have left in the city. Oh! I forgot, most of them are already blocked.Let us be a river city and maybe we can make more money from tourists as well. 

Oli is a dreamer. He dreams big. It was all good but now, it seems that Oli and his courtiers want to be dictators as well. Now, that's not good.  The government that has received the mandate to govern this country for five years has already wasted five months by doing nothing for the people.

Instead, we pay more taxes and we get nothing in return.  Oli, you don't need to give us trains and ships and no, don't even think about sending Deuba to Mars. Just give us roads without potholes. Give us affordable healthcare and quality education. But do not give us empty dreams while emptying our pockets. Be a leader, not a pickpocket. Be a doer not a freeloader! Heil Oli!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

The Crazy Authoritarian Doctor

I think we are all tired of Dr KC now. Why is only Dr KC worried about the health care system and the quality of medical schools in this great country of ours when the rest of us are happy with the shoddy medical services for exorbitant fees and really don't care if byaparis make billions by opening medical schools and providing substandard education to produce incompetent medical doctors? After all, investors in medical school care more about profit rather than producing competent doctors! 

We have the best public hospitals in the world where medical equipments worth millions go to waste because our doctors don't use it and instead refer patients to their private clinics. 

We have the best private hospitals in the world where a patient is charged thousands of Rupees each day for tests that are not needed and the final bill comes to lakhs and either the family of the patient has to sell their land to clear the bill or just allow the hospital to take the patient hostage until the dues are cleared. 

Yes, this is a nation where we have seen successive socialist and communist governments favor byaparis over common folks in all sectors. When will we get a government that really cares about the people and not pee on the people instead? When will our corrupt netas stay home and go to our public hospitals for medical treatment instead of going to India, Thailand, Singapore and even Amrika? 

Our former President needs someone from Amrika to feel his prostate. Our politicians believe that Desi doctors are better than our own. Instead of opening a world-class public hospital in the country, our chor netas waste millions of Rupees for medical treatment overseas. And we the people, don't complain and take to the streets and hold our corrupt chors accountable for their misdeeds. 

We just bitch ad whine and curse whenever we see our mini-Maharajas ride around Kathmandu in their luxury vehicles, followed by armed police wallahs. 

But Dr Saheb is different. He is not after money, power or other freebies. 

He just wants the country to produce good doctors. He just wants the poor to get adequate health care. He just wants what's best for the country when it comes to the medical sector. But our politicians don't like him because most of them have shares in private medical hospitals or want to open medical schools to make some extra money. 

Our great communists think Dr Saheb is crazy, authoritarian and a pain in the ass. Yes, a lone crusader fighting against the system is crazy. Where are our civil society folks? Where are our so-called Facebook activists?  Yes, we want people like Dr  Saheb to lead the country instead of the usual pickpockets stealing our wallets all the time. 

After all, most of our so-called communists have investment in colleges, 

hospitals and even NGOs in this land. Dr Saheb is against the medical mafia in this country. Why can't the government establish medical schools in each province instead of allowing byaparis to make tons of moolah from private medical schools?

I think the man should just let it go and do his job instead of fighting the system. Yes, Dr. Saheb , aren't you tired of going on hunger strikes again and again. The crazy doctor is now in Jumla and is now at the emergency unit of the Karnali Academy of Health Sciences (KAHS). 

It seems that our great Oli government doesn't care about the quality of medical schools in this country. They just want to allow their near and dear ones make money from charging medical students tons of money to become doctors.

Our incompetent government wants Dr KC to die. Yes, that's the truth and if Dr KC goes to heaven then they will be no one to complain, stage hunger strikes and fight against our mini-Maharajas! Dr KC is also not afraid to die. He tells us that he is ready to die in Karnali!

Dr Saheb has vowed to stay in Jumla until his demands are addressed. This crazy doctor just wants what's best for this country when it comes to health care and medical education. Why can't we stand up and support him. Aren't we ashamed that this lone crusader is fighting alone against the medical mafia and yet most of us are least bothered about it?

Our incompetent government should put Dr KC in jail. This man is menace to the political establishment. He is a threat to our byaparis and politicians who want to make quick bucks from the medical sector. This man is a bad example to the youth. 

We have a Prime Minister who thinks big. We will be hopping on a train from Kathmandu to Kerung. We will be taking a ship from Kathmandu to Kolkata. We must allow our byaparis and netas to open as many medical schools in the country so that folks who can afford the fees can be doctors and our netas can profit from it.

God Bless Oli. God Bless our great comrades. Down with Dr KC, who wants to stop us from becoming the land of low-quality medical schools! At the end of the day, Dr Saheb will be remembered for his work in the medical field and his hunger strikes to bring reforms in the medical sector. 

How will Oli and his courtiers be remembered for? They will be remembered for nothing. Dr KC may die tomorrow but he will die happy knowing he did his best to fight against the corrupt system.  

One person is enough to shake the system. Just imagine if million of us took to the streets and began our own hunger strikes. Yes, it is possible to destroy the corrupt of system of ours if we support each other to fight against our corrupt chors. You don't need to form a political party. You just need courage!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com