The Looting Continues!

King Deuba has finally managed to expand his cabinet after months of consultation with his astrologers. Maybe his gurus finally approved his cabinet-expansion plans. I think our government should form a new ministry. 

Let's have an astrologer head a "Ministry of Astrology" and all government decisions should be approved only after calculating all the charts out there. Maybe it's better to look towards the moon and the sun to decide our future instead of expecting our good for nothing buffoons to brings us peace and prosperity!

It seems that our politicians know only how to share power and care for each other while leaving nothing for the common folks. When it comes to power-sharing, our netas fight with each other even if they belong to same political party. There is a quota system for everything.  

Even King Deuba is having a tough time trying to make other factions from his own party happy. No wonder, our politician don't have the time to tend to problems faced by common folks when they are too busy trying to figure out who gets the piece of the loot!

Why do our netas want their near and dear ones as mantris? Well, they are not happy with their salaries and perks. They need Karods not thousands to maintain their lifestyle. These are the same clowns who were happy when they were starving but fighting against the system. 

They were not scared to die or spend years in prison. They were the lucky ones because they survived and managed to become the top chors in the country. But how can they forget their own sacrifice to change our society, to change our system and their dream to build a prosperous Nepal?

But now, when they have become a part of the system, they want it all and only care about how to loot the state treasury and pocket commissions from contractors and boras of cash from civil servants and other con artists. Our netas have no shame and their near and dear ones even boast and feel proud of the ill-gotten wealth amassed from sucking the blood, sweat and tears of common Nepalis. 

Our Emperor was happy hiding in India during the so-called civil war. His son was happy driving a tempo! But now he lives in a mansion and drives around in luxury vehicles. Our Crown Prince can marry a number of times and get away with it while he enjoys the life of luxury. 

Most of the sons of our so-called top leaders carry firearms with them while they hang out in bars in the capital. It seems that our princelings are all contractors now and seem to be involved in most of the so-called 'national pride' projects in the country. 

It seems that our lawmakers can break the law and still get security from the state while we, the common folks have to pay more taxes every year just so that our civil servants and netas can get more perks and salaries from the State.

We now have 19 new mini-sinisters and the overall team strength is 29. Don't be surprised if we have more than fifty mantris in Deuba's cabinet in the coming months. After all, our man in Baluwatar is known for his big appetite! 

It seems that our old fogies still do not want to provide opportunities to women and minorities. We now have only three women ministers. I think all Nepalese women should unite and open their own political party. Our 'Ama and Mahila Samuhas' should unite and fight against the chors! 

Talking about unification, Bibeksheel and Sajha Party has decided to join hands and tell us that they will now become stronger. What the new Bibeksheel Sajha Party (BSP) can do is unite with other fringe parties as well and ask our mothers, wives, sisters and girlfriends to join them and make it an inclusive party. We can no longer allow the same bunch of thieves to steal us blind.

Why do we only blame the bidhesis for interfering in our land when we continue to exploit and discriminate against our own folks just because they belong to a different caste or believe in a different God or their preferences are different than the majority of the folks. Why can't we rejoice in our diversity instead of fighting with each other while our netas enjoy their drinks behind closed doors and continue to loot us all?

King Deuba is busy making sure that he makes a lot of moolah while in power. It seems that our incompetent government is only interested to increase the perks of our President and Vice-President and provide luxury vehicles to sarkari hakims.  

King Deuba recently transferred a Local Devleopment Officer (LDO) because he wanted to stop illegal excavations. Our politicians will stop at nothing and will continue to transfer honest civil servants while promote corrupt ones because they need the money. 

How much is enough? Should we just go ahead and hike the salaries and perks of our civil servants and politicians like in Singapore. We may have failed to make our country like Singapore but at least we can pay our chors the same salary scale and hopefully we will finally have no corruption in this land.  

If we do the math, we might even save billions of dollars instead because our civil servants, contractors and our chor netas are looting us all by helping our fake-VAT bill byaparis evade taxes, destroying our environment by allowing contractors to destroy our rivers and hills for construction works while getting commissions for it and stealing billions by fugding the bills while allowing contractors to be paid for shoddy works! 

It's about time to end the looting spree and we need patriots like Dr KC not traitors like our civil servants, netas and those who forget that their deeds will one day lead us to lose our identity and even our land!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Our lives don’t matter

A ten-year old girl dies when she falls in an open manhole while another school kid survives. We are all angry at our chors but they seem to have other priorities at hand. It seems that road expansion and water and sanitation projects have turned our roads into death traps. 

Hundreds of folks lose their lives due to accidents in our highways but our government doesn't care. Every monsoon, thousands of our folks are displaced from their homes due to floods and landslides and many lose their families. 

It’s been more than two years since we got hit by the Big One and only a few hundred of the families have received subsidized loans so far. It seems that our government is not in a hurry to help the people but it is always eager to waste our taxpayers money on new vehicles, foreign junkets and more perks for our netas and civil servants.

It's the same story every year but public outcry doesn't seem to affect our chor netas and sarkari hakims. Our concerned government agencies are not in a hurry to repair our roads or even fill up the holes they have dug around the valley.  How did our government officials become such cruel and cold-hearted monsters? 

Well, the sarkari hakims get free government vehicles and their kids don't have to walk to school but why do millions of us who do walk to work, school and to tend to other matters must suffer due to the mismanagement and lack of urgency showed by our concerned government agencies in resolving such problems!?

Our clowns only care about their political cadres and themselves. You can be a mundrey gunda and die during a protest program and your family will get a million Rupees from the state and you will even be declared a martyr. But if you are just another ordinary citizen then you get a few thousand Rupees as compensation and our government agencies are neither ashamed nor do they promise us that such accidents won't happen again in the future.

Our Prime Monster, King Deuba had directed government agencies to take care of our roads and that's what our politicians do. They are too scared to go out there and meet the victim's family. They just stay inside Singha Durbar and dole out instructions to our sarkari hakim sahebs.  And our civil servants will nod their heads and then go back to their office and do nothing.  

We have thousands of security personnel in the valley. Maybe, we should ask all the folks who did help out to clean the Bagmati River to join hands with our security folks to plug the holes in the capital. We should all gherao the Department of Roads and tell the folks there that it is their responsibility to coordinate with other government agencies to resolve the crisis. 

We have new Mayors in the valley and it seems that they are only interested to buy mobile phones for all the ward chairpersons and increase parking fees all around the capital and make us pay more taxes while they are not eager to solve the problems faced by their municipalities. 

We must all take our stand and refuse to pay the new taxes until our Mayors and concerned government agencies work together to make this city livable again. But who will listen to us ? The government doesn't care. 

The civil servants will look the other way while the contractors who are making millions from the contracts will not get punished for putting our lives at risk because they have already paid off our politicians and hakim sahebs!

Gyanu Uncle thinks it's okay to go to Norvic for his health checkup but our netas need to go to Bangkok because they do not trust our medical establishments. Maybe, we should just ask the Thai Embassy to hire a dozen of Thai doctors and our netas can visit the Embassy for their medical check up instead of wasting our taxpayers money on foreign visits for their medical treatment.

Deuba has done us all proud by allowing the Election Commission (EC) to spend Rs 140 million to buy five luxury vehicles for the commissioners. It doesn't matter if the media, the people and the rest of the world is not happy with how our government wastes our taxpayers money. 

Earlier, the government secretary who refused to go ahead and ask the government for funds to buy the new vehicles was transferred from the EC. That's how our system works. If you do your work by the book, then you get transferred somewhere else but if you cook the book and make your hakims and netas happy then you get promoted.

Our netas and civil servants don't care and will continue to loot the state treasury for their own benefit. I think we should just go ahead and buy our President a nice helicopter. At least, we won't have any traffic jams in the valley! And we don’t want the security vehicles escorting our President suddenly disappear in the middle of the street, do we?

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Free Money

The Office of the President wants an additional Rs 120 million to buy vehicles to escort our President around town. I think our government wallahs think that it is better to waste our taxpayers' money rather than saving us a few Rupees. 

Earlier, our incompetent government had agreed to provide Rs 40 million but I guess that was not enough for our folks working for the President. I don't think our Madame President had any say on this matter but her personal assistants and our sarkari hakims must have done their homework well and wanted to make quick bucks on the deal. 

It seems that only netas and thulo mancheys need security in this land but we still don't know why there are so scared of the public whom they have sworn to serve. We can understand President Trump wanting an 'Iron Man' suit or a Batmobile but why does our President need more security and more vehicles than even the Desi President across the border?  It seems that our President has to worry about security more than the Chinese President or even Putin.  

North Korea is not going to nuke us anytime soon. Our President is not under threat from any internal or external enemies. The job of the President is to attend all the public functions in Tundikhel, visit foreign lands to get some fresh air and actually do nothing at all. 

Why do we need to spend hundreds of millions of Rupees on vehicles for our so-called VVIPs when our government has dozens of luxury vehicles sitting idle and even those have not been maintained in years? Why do our netas need new vehicles and waste our taxpapayers money every year?

The President's Office already has eight luxury vehicles but I guess that is not enough for our head of state. Our President should be an example to the world and go ahead and buy an electric vehicle instead. But our thulo mancheys do not think like the common folks. They are above the  law and they think that wasting taxpayers' money for their own benefit is the right thing to do. 

Our civil servants have already spent more than a billion Rupees on foreign visits in the past sixty days. More than 1,400 sarkari chors had fun going on vacation to foreign lands at the expense of our taxpayers'. 

Yes, attending conferences, workshops and training nataks in foreign lands seem like vacation to our sarkari hakims. They get daily allowances and chiya kharcha and they get to save the money and years later, when the CIAA asks them how they managed to build a mansion in the valley, they will tell the world that they saved all the 'vacation' money or wrote books that brought in millions of Rupees. 

Just ask our Director General of the Inland Revenue Department, Chudamani Dai! We all know that he managed to make millions while he offered billions of Rupees to our netas. But at the end of the day, the CIAA can only arrest our civil servants but seem to have no clue on how to go after our chor netas as well! Our former IGPs go to jail for the 'Sudan Scam' and pay only a few thousand Rupees fine as well while our netas who made millions from the deal do not need to worry about going to jail at all. 

Our government had earlier attempted to discourage such foreign vacation packages but I guess nobody can tame our corrupt civil servants. After all, our netas need our sarkai chors because when it comes to promotions and lucrative transfers, our civil servants do offer boras of cash to our clowns. That's how our system works and not much has changed in the past three decades. 

It seems that we, the people have no choice but put up with the nataks of our netas and sarkari hakims. Every year, landslides and floods kill hundreds of folks in this country and the government doesn't do anything to minimize such disasters. 

Our capital has become Dustmandu and neither our government agencies nor the contractors who are working on the roads in our valley seem to be interested to minimize the problems faced by the people. After all, our netas drive around in luxury vehicle with their windows closed while we, the people have to use public transportation and breathe in all the fumes and dust!

And in the last month of the fiscal year, our government agencies go on a spending spree, making sure they spend billions of Rupees and it seems that we cannot hold any of our civil servants and netas accountable. 

It seems that we, the people have given up and our civil society leaders have all disappeared ever since Gyanu Uncle left the building. It seems that we, the people participated in peoples' movement to topple the Panchayati system and then the 'House of Shah' only to be ruled by mini-maharajas and their courtiers.  

Every year, our incompetent government fails to spend even half of the capital budget and nobody seems to care. 

How can our chors who do not even follow democratic principles in their own parties teach us all about democracy? 

How can our buffoons who do not want to give any opportunity to women, minorities and youth leaders in their own parties teach us about inclusiveness? 

How can our clowns who only want kickbacks from contractors, civil servants, fake-VAT bill bayaparis and other con artists teach us about open and transparent society?  

It seems that economic progress for our netas is about making as much money for themselves while stealing from our national coffer and the people while the country goes broke!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Deuba Strikes Back!

First of all, let us all congratulate Deuba for appearing on a TV show to interact with the public. It seems that Deuba has not lost his arrogance at all. After all, he is our Maharaja from Dadeldhura. 

Who cares if he was once fired by Gyanu Uncle and even sent to jail for corruption? Gyanu Uncle has already left the palace and he is no longer Lord Vishnu! So, I guess it doesn't count and this is the man who wants to impeach the Chief Justice because he can't have his way. 

Who cares if he started the culture of  buying our lawmakers, showering them with gifts, cash and tax-free vehicles and even vacations to foreign lands? Our politicians all huddle up in dark rooms in resorts, sip their raksi and make deals left and right to share power and enjoy the loot!

Who cares if his brother-in-law made a bundle when we bought arms from bideshis to fight our rebels? We all know that near and dear ones of our politicians make tons of money when their folks are in power! 

Even our Emperor was not ashamed to share power with the same man who once put a price on his head and is now hell-bent on making sure that his daughter becomes the Mayor! If a game of football was like Nepali politics then you would call it match-fixing and it would be a crime. 

Nepal Police once arrested our footballers for match-fixing and wanted to charge them with treason. How come no one wants to arrest our politicians for treason when they have all joined hands to take this country down the drain?

Deuba should not only keep his astrologers by his side but also hire PR folks and even a coach to learn how to speak to the common folks. At least Gyanu Uncle would nod his head and say 'yes'. KP Oli dreamt about gas pipelines and what not and at least showed us that you have every right to dream big even if you are out of touch with reality. 

Our Emperor tells us that even if his party failed to create any dhamaka in the local elections, the whole country has won because he managed to conduct the first phase of the local elections. And it helps when you have already made billions of Rupees on the side as well. Our Emperor and his family can live like Kings for another century while the comrades who fought for him and his party have nothing.

Deuba thinks that we, the people are beneath him and he doesn't have to be polite and  even try to answer the questions like a politician. He acts like a bully and he doesn't care what the world thinks of him either. He is our Prime Monster.

He doesn't have Gyanu Uncle to fire him again. He doesn't have to answer to the people because he knows that as long as he makes our Constipated Assembly (CA) members happy, they will support him to make billions of Rupees while he doles out millions to our lawbreakers!

Deuba is right when he tells us that he can't bring Oxford University to Nepal. Yes, we should be happy with our Tribhuvan University here. Just because you went to a good school and got good grades doesn't make you a good politician. Just because you are filthy rich doesn't make you a great world leader. 

But here in Nepal, we think the clowns who can spew venom and attack their opponents with gaalis and jokes make great politicians. Maybe, it's time our real comedians joined politics and give our real politicians a run for their money!

Deuba seems to think he is still an angry young man. He is still angry but is now a senior citizen. He promises our senior citizens that he will double their allowances. If our politicians stopped asking for kickbacks from civil servants, contractors and other con artists, then our country would have enough funds to even provide allowances for the unemployed youth as well. 

But here, a few thousand of corrupt hakim sahebs, netas and byaparis run the country like their private country club. We, the people are not welcomed at all. We are here to serve them, be exploited by them and have to pay chiya kharcha everywhere just to get the basic services which are supposed to be free and entitled as being citizens of this country. 

Deuba and his fellow crooks all behave not with humility but with pride for being corrupt and  think that humiliating the public will give a boost to their ego. It seems that our politicians think that this country owes them everything while they owe us nothing. 

We should not stop reminding them that the luxury vehicles they drive around in, the security personnel surrounding them, the fuel and maintenance expenses and even house rent and other perks provided to these chors are paid for by the people of this land and not our chimekis or their agents!

The Nepali Kangaroos should be ashamed that Deuba continues to lead their party and even becomes a Prime Minister for the fourth time. It's time the young folks in the grand old party of this land come together and revolt against the old fogies who don't want to let go. 

It's time all the youth leaders of our political parties work together to throw the same corrupt bunch of thieves out of their own parties.  When we still have people like Deuba around to lead us to hell, then there is no point of whining and bitching about bideshis interfering in our politics! 

The Amrikis have Trump. We have Deuba. Both seem to suffer from narcissistic personality disorder. At least Deuba doesn't consider the media his enemy. Instead of visiting India and China, our King Deuba should first visit the United States of Amrika and meet with Trump. And Deuba should learn how to counter the Trump handshake and even do better than Modi's bear hug. Maybe, a simple Namaste would do!

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com

Police Reform

Our Home Minister, Janardan Sharma is in a hurry to show us all, that he can bring reforms in the police force. Well, we had so many Home Ministers since we became a Republic and all they have done is promote and transfer their near and dear ones to make a quick buck!

Home Minister Sharma had earlier directed the Traffic Police to stop collecting fines from jaywalkers. At least some of us who do have the habit of crossing the road without worrying about the speeding micro won't have to cough up a few hundred bucks anymore. 

But it would have been nice if our Home Minister had also directed our Traffic wallahs to take action against speeding public vehicles and their 'stop-in-the-middle' of the road nataks as well. And let us all feel sorry for them because our Home Minister has cancelled their 15% commission for traffic violation tickets but has promised them extra chiya kharcha. 

Our Traffic personnel will all suffer from respiratory illnesses for the rest of their lives. They should be provided free medical treatment for sacrificing their health to direct traffic in Dustmandu! Maybe our Home Minister should work as a traffic volunteer for a week and then go for a check-up to see the damage caused by having to stand up for hours out on the roads!

Our Home Minister wants to create two new posts in Nepal Police, that of Assistant Head Constable and Senior-Sub Inspector. Why? Because he feels that police personnel won’t get discouraged for having to serve in the same position for quite a while. I don't think we need to add more positions. Why not just promote them to Head Constable and Inspectors instead?

How about cutting down on the bloated upper-ranks where Nepal Police now has positions for 8 AIGS, a whole lot of DIGs , and a more than a truck-load of SSPs. 

Two decades ago, we had two AIGs but it seems that every other Home Minister wants to add more to satisfy their near and dear ones and those who can offer them suitcases filled with cash. And don't be surprised if a SP is in-charge of police beat in the near future. 

And it's about time, our government did something to amend the service term for our police personnel. Instead of the thirty-year service tenure, why not just go with the age limit when our civil servants retire at 58. 

I think it's about time our government also increased the retirement age for our civil servants from 58 to at least 60. It seems that we are losing competent and professional senior police personnel who have to retire due to the thirty-year natak.  It would at least save us billions of Rupees in pensions and other perks as well.

Our Home Minister should also focus on providing adequate resources to Nepal Police. When it comes to our security agencies, Nepal Army and Armed Police Force seem to have their way while the government seem to ignore the needs of Nepal Police when in reality, our men and women in blue are the ones who deal with the public every day. 

And it's about time the government think about what to do with the APF wallahs?  Even the APF folks are confused about their role in New Nepal. Will they be just protecting the border in some ways, guarding foreign embassies and providing security to our chor netas? 

And we really need to train our APF folks not to be trigger-happy and start firing at protesters and killing them. We really need to teach them how to restrain themselves and use other non-lethal means to control protestors. How about a Dohori competition between the security personnel and our protesters?  Now that would be nice, wouldn't it?

Our Home Minister has also promised to end the practice among our police wallahs when it comes to getting promotions and lucrative transfers. Well, that would be great but when we have Deuba as our Prime Monster, it will be really difficult to get rid of corruption and the practice of offering boras of cash to our netas for promotions!  

It's not only Deuba but every other politicians do lobby for their near ones to get the promotion. Some do it because they belong to the same district while most do it for hard cold cash. 

Our Home Minister also wants to end the system of our senior police officers having lower-ranked personnel as their domestic helps.  Well, it's not a new thing to have someone serving as an orderly to higher ranks in security agencies but we have thousands of police personnel working as slaves at homes of current and retired senior officers. 

And it's about time, our senior security officers told their spouses that they joined the security agencies to serve the country and not to get domestic helps to do their shopping and do the dishes and other household chores.

Our Home Minister should also cut down on security personnel providing security to former ministers and even Prime Monsters. We have a new PM every nine months and  yes they do need a vehicle, and a few security personnel to provide them security but we all know how many of them guard our thulo mancheys! 

And why do former Home Ministers who last served like decades ago are still getting free vehicles and dozens of security personnel? Well, our chor netas love freebies and it seems that they feel that if they don't get a luxury vehicle from the state and a dozen police wallahs guarding their homes, they lose face among their near and dear ones. 

This is what happens when our netas see politics as a get-quick-rich natak! Let us hope Janardan Sharma will fulfill his promises and who knows, he might be our next PM and then he can do more than those who have lived in Baluwatar and have so far done nothing! 

Guffadi is a grumpy old man who blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com. You may contact him at maguffadi@gmail.com